Let's face it - whether you're just out for a gentle trundle, or racing over cobbles or
mountains, there's nothing better than reaching into your back pocket to retrieve one of your
favourite snacks. But, there are things we think should be best avoided. So - here's
GCN's Top 10 things not to eat on a ride.
A drive-thru meal
We think drive-thrus are meant solely for cars, and by that I mean there's no actual
signs saying no bikes, are there? But perhaps this is for good reason, as once you've rummaged
through your brown bag or little cardboard box, aside from bottle cages, your bike just
isn't equipped to lay out those delectable shining examples from each of the food groups.
Crisps...or chips.
While individual packets of your chosen flavour of crisps or chips do fit quite handily into
the back pocket, attempting to get through a packet of potato-based snacks (or corn-based,
for that matter), while on the move is another thing altogether, and not one we'd advise
here at GCN, especially while descending.
Steer clear of party-sized bags, too.
Muesli.
Want some milk with that Dan? Yeah, you got some?
Come on, you should all have consumed this popular tasty cereal for your breakfast, so
any of you that have gone to the trouble of taking out a bowl, spoon, milk and the muesli
itself on your training ride itself need to set the alarm a little bit earlier. But full
marks for effort.
Alright if I have some Dan? Yeah if you want mate.
Bloody hell, that's really nice!
Ice cream
As we all know, ice cream, in tub or classic coned are best consumed on a sandy beach in
a deck chair or while taking a gentle stroll either solo or with friends and family. And,
to properly savour all of that creamy goodness, a refined balance of focus and attentiveness
is needed. Such prerequisites cannot be delivered while manoeuvring your favourite racer at
speed. Avoid at all costs.
Kebabs.
Late nights following a night out, maybe. But while doing hill reps, trying to get a
kebab down the hatch, even with a firm pitta to hold contents safely within is just too
arduous and messy a task. Attempt only if you are fond of hurling and removing processed
meats from your rear sprockets. Actually, please just leave this one well alone.
Pizza
Hailing from Naples, the modern pizza is essentially a blank canvas upon which food is used as
a culinary paint. Stick to the dinner table. A moving bicycle is simply not the place to
sample Italy's signature food.
Want a piece Dan?
Pizzas just do not have the inherent structural design to withstand the rigours of being chomped
on by a sadly misguided cyclist on the move.
Potted snacks and noodles
Practical issues, such as the lack of boiling water or a kettle on the road limit the use
of rehydrated potted snacks, but assuming you did get somehow get some water into the plastic vessel,
you'll need the skills of a rather dextrous juggler to master the challenging knack of
eating your chosen flavour of rice or noodles with a fork while safely piloting your bicycle.
In short, it's a definitive "no."
Cheese
Acceptable in a light spread or thinly sliced in a roll, cheese can work while out on the
road. Although a friend to many, utilised badly, it could also be your dairy-based enemy.
The key here is to use sparingly: no chewing on blocks of cheddar or wedges of brie, because
it will all go horribly wrong in so many ways, as well as adversely affecting your power to weight
ratio as you pile on the pounds.
I do like cheese, but not in that kind of quantity, really.
Salad
Now we all know a nice tossed salad is good for you. All those minerals and vitamins,
plus tasty dressing of your choice, all thrown together in a bowl with joyous abandon. But
please - this leaved treat should remain sedately the preserve of the kitchen or restaurant,
not flying through the air as if on a windy autumnal day as you try and munch your way through.
Baguettes
One of the absolute staples of French cuisine and much love the world over, the baguette is arguably
the king of all breads made into an elongated shape. Fine for the breakfast table or a roadside
picnic, but not so ideal for eating on the move. Not only is a full baguette un-aerodynamic,
you risk getting it caught in your spokes or inadvertently jousting a rider coming the other way.
I'm so sorry!
There you go!