- You and I have been told for so many years
that it's confidence that people find sexy.
And you can validate this in your own experience
when you see someone who's authentically confident.
Not that when they're conceited
or they're full of themselves or egotistical.
No, no, that's completely unattractive.
But this authentic, grounded confidence
is highly attractive.
Why is that?
Well, it's because that person values themselves enough.
Again, not an egotistical way,
but just in an authentic way.
They value themselves
and they own that value in a way
that's very, very attractive.
Today, I'm gonna share with you seven things
that I've been able to witness over the last decade
coaching thousands of women.
What do women who have this authentic confidence
that shines forth that just comes across
as high value that men desire?
What is it that they're doing?
What is that way of being?
I'm gonna share with you seven of those qualities here
in this video to serve you and helping you activate
that own beautiful inner value that you have
that turns into confidence
when other people experience it.
Check it out.
(light music)
Hey there, my name is Matt Boggs.
And I'm the founder of the Love and Relationship Division
here at the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is empowering people
to create and live a life they love.
And that includes your love life.
So if you liked this video,
I encourage you to click the subscribe button
and click that little bell,
because every week we bring you videos
to empower you in your love life.
And today, we're talking about what are the attributes
that demonstrate that you're a high value individual?
In other words, that confidence that exudes.
The question always comes up,
you know, how do I demonstrate confidence
in a way that's not conceited
or egotistical or pushes people away
but instead is authentic, natural,
and from the inside out?
I want you to understand that when we talk about high value,
it doesn't mean that somebody else
is validating your value or giving value to you know.
Your value is intrinsic.
Your value comes from within
because you are a spiritual being having a human experience.
You are a child of the Most High.
Your value comes from that relationship
with the divine and who you are in this world.
And the fact that there is only one you
there is nobody else on this planet,
who is you anywhere close to you.
And as you can bring that forth in a way
that is uniquely yours is incredibly powerful.
And so I wanna share with you seven ways of being,
of people who have really tapped into that
in their unique way that demonstrates
and is perceived as confidence,
and therefore highly attractive.
Number one is the woman who has high value prioritizes
compatibility over chemistry.
And this was interesting
because often we want that massive chemistry
in a relationship, don't we?
We want that lightning bolt moment
where we're like, oh my gosh, I love this person.
They light you up like a Christmas tree.
The challenge is if you prioritize that,
then what happens is you end up gravitating
towards people who light you up.
And often in those moments,
we're not even thinking in our right space in our mind,
because we're so ultimately blissed out
with this chemistry
that we don't take stock
in how compatible we really are.
And yet, it's the compatibility
that leads to long lasting relationships.
So the first thing that you wanna do
is when you're meeting someone for the first time
be highly interested
way more interested in compatibility.
Do the two of you have the same life pacing?
In other words, do you like to be out at the same time?
Do you wanna be home at the same time?
Are you that go getter that's always on the go
and he's super slow or a homebody
and wants to just relax?
Those types of compatibilities
are gonna matter in the long run.
So make sure you prioritize compatibility over chemistry.
Number two is the high value woman
who's coming from authentic confidence.
She doesn't chase but she allows the dance.
Now what does that mean?
That means there's a difference
between chasing somebody and seeking validation,
seeking their attention.
You being in the driver's seat versus you inviting a man
in your space.
Inviting that dance means that you show him
that you're interested.
You give an indicator of interest.
You smile, you send him a message,
you let him know that you're interested,
but then you create space for the dance to occur.
If you wanna be feminine,
you allow him to pursue you.
If you wanna be masculine, you then pursue him.
You get to decide which energetic role you wanna play.
But whatever one you play,
play it consciously and engage in this dance.
It's like a salsa dance.
The feminine in the salsa dance,
their first move is creating space and moving back.
The masculine the first move is pursuing,
taking that step forward.
So the person who is high value
isn't afraid to show interest
and then invite the dance by stepping back
and inviting him to pursue.
Number three is the high value woman
never pretends to be somebody else.
And here's what I mean.
On a date, especially when it's someone
that you're attracted to someone that you like,
it's really easy to filter your responses.
Because you know he might like that response.
If he likes something, then you really like it
and you change kind of who you are to get him to like you
instead of just being grounded in who you are.
Speaking your mind.
Speaking your values.
And if he likes it, he likes it.
If he doesn't, oh well.
The woman who is coming from her highest value,
her truest authentic self,
is staying true to who she is
instead of watering herself down
just to try to get him to like her.
Number four is she dates with purpose.
The woman who's high value,
the woman who's authentic knows what she wants.
And she isn't afraid to share it
with the guy that she's on a date with on the first date.
You're not afraid of scaring a guy away
talking about what it is that you really want.
Maybe you want marriage, maybe you want kids,
maybe you want commitment, whatever it is that you want,
you are the highest authority
and you're willing to share that on the first day.
And here's the key, the high value woman
doesn't share in a desperate way,
like I'm running out of time, I need to have kids.
No, there's no urgency from the standpoint of time crunch.
There's this authentic confidence
because she knows she's gonna find it.
She knows she's going to attract it,
whether it's with him or someone even better still.
So on the first date, she shares what her vision is,
what she would love, she asks him what his vision is
for his love life.
What does he really want
so she can find out,
are the two of them on the same page?
Number five, the woman who's demonstrating high value.
Now you may disagree with this.
You may have completely opposite views of this.
They tend to get physical slower.
And in my experience,
what I have found over coaching over thousand women
over the last decade is those who have placed
high value on what it means to be intimate.
They give meaning, they give it purpose,
they give it depth means it's worth more
that you're not just gonna get physical,
be intimate with just anybody.
That man has to be someone special in your life.
When he's earned that role,
earned that with you through trust,
through keeping agreements to building something special,
then when the two of you are intimate with one another,
it just means that much more.
And at the end of the day, as human beings we value
what we earn, we value what we put effort towards.
So the value of the relationship itself
goes up when you just go slower physically.
Now that said, there's nothing wrong
with sleeping together on the first date,
if that's what you want.
You are the highest authority
on what's right for you.
What I have found, though,
is if you take the physical aspect slower,
it tends to lead to more solid,
more stable longer term relationships.
And number six, for what demonstrates confidence
and just people perceive this as high value
is being selective.
When you are selective,
it demonstrates choice that you have choice.
In other words, it demonstrates
that you're highly desired.
And here's what's fascinating
about the psychology of this.
You don't have to have a bunch of people
lined up to take you out to be selective.
But being selective gives the impression
that you have a bunch of people lined up to take you out.
It actually increases our desire for the other person.
So what's the number one way you can demonstrate
that you're selective with somebody?
The number one way is you set your standards and boundaries.
Both for what you're willing to engage in on the date,
but also when you're willing to go out on a date.
Like your standard might be, hey,
if you wanna take me out, come pick me up,
let's go out or meet me at a place in my side of town.
I'm not gonna drive an hour
just to meet you halfway on the very first day.
If you wanna take me out, come take me out.
Being selective could be you're not willing to go out
with him at the last minute on a Friday night
because he texts you at 8:30.
You're like, hey, I'm out with friends
would love to hang out with you
give me some advanced warning next time.
Being selective, stating your standards and boundaries,
beautiful way to demonstrate
that you've got authentic confidence
and you're a high value woman.
And number seven.
Lastly, she chooses a man for who he is now
and not for his potential.
In other words, she doesn't time travel.
Where she's like, hey,
one day in the future
when he's ready for a relationship
or one day future when he's got his stuff
in order or one day future when, no, she's like,
who is this man now?
She knows that her job is not to coach him,
her job is not to raise him,
she's looking for a man, she's looking for a partner,
and she knows that she deserves one,
and she knows that there is one available for her
that she can attract into her life.
The high value woman isn't willing to settle
for someone who isn't a great partner for her.
So there you have it.
Those are seven attributes.
Ways that you can demonstrate
your authentic confidence,
ways that you can demonstrate
the true value that you have within,
and my question for you is what do you find
is high value in a man?
How does a man show up that demonstrates
his true authentic confidence in his value?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I hope this serves you.
Here's to your amazing love life.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching.
I'll see you soon.
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