- I tried to kill myself with a bottle of pills.
And the fact of the matter is, I trusted no one.
And looking back, I guess, how could I?
From the time my parents left me, to the time
another foster kid raped me, to the time I was
bullied so bad, I genuinely could not fathom
a world where I could trust anybody.
So, fast forward.
Here I am 14 years old, and entering
my umpteen foster home.
I was a pro, a veteran at this whole, sort of,
getting kicked out of one home, moved to the next.
You meet these people who were like, literally
complete and total strangers 10 minutes ago,
who are now, apparently, your mom and dad.
You know, kids, don't take candy from strangers,
just move in with them.
(audience laughs)
So I'm sitting in the van,
in the driveway of this next home,
and that's when I see Rodney.
He's standing up there on the front porch.
And immediately I notice, this is a large fella.
(audience laughs)
He's six foot five, he's 350 pounds, and as
a 14 year old boy, I couldn't help but notice,
when he's turned to the side like that,
he's shaped like a lower case B.
(audience laughs)
It's amusing now, but in the moment it was tactical.
Maybe that's how I could get kicked out of this home.
Maybe I could get under his skin about his weight.
So I move in with him.
I'm being obnoxious, I'm being ungrateful, I'm being
just downright rude and mean; I'm setting things on fire.
And three years later, I can't shake this guy.
(audience laughs)
Rodney won't kick me out.
So I step up my game.
I go to the local bank in town, I open up
a chequing account.
I put about 90 bucks in there.
Then I proceed to write 10,000 dollars worth of cheques.
Obviously, cheques bouncing one after the next,
after the next.
One cheque that bounced was for my car insurance.
I'm going down the road, speeding Stillwater, Oklahoma,
88 miles an hour.
No car insurance, no driver's license, and
I get pulled over, hand cuffed, thrown in the back
of a cop car, and sent to jail.
I call Rodney.
Like, Rodney, I'm in Stillwater, I'm in jail,
I'll tell you the whole thing when you get here.
Will you please come bail me out tonight?
He said, I will come bail you out.
But not til tomorrow.
Rodney frustratingly believed sometimes one of the most
loving things you can do for a kid was allow them
to sit in either the success of their wonderful choice,
or the stupidity of their foolish choice.
Next morning he comes, bails me out, exactly as promised.
We had a long, very awkward car ride home.
No one says anything.
We get back to the house, he's like, we need
to sit down and talk.
And I knew this moment had finally come.
So, Rodney, his wife, sit me down to give me the talk
I've had a dozen times.
He looks in my eyes and says, son, you can keep
causing problems, you can keep trying to mess up,
you can keep pushing us away, you can keep trying
to get us to kick you out of here, but you've gotta
get it through your thick head, son.
We don't see you as a problem.
We see you as an opportunity.
And in that moment, all of my skepticism
came to the surface, and I thought, what a cheesy,
stupid thing to say to a 17 year old kid.
But then I was overwhelmed with the reality
that this guy actually meant it.
He didn't see what I was, what was on the surface,
the obnoxious kid, the ungrateful kid, the kid
getting suspended.
He saw what I could be.
It was genuinely my turning point.
Statistically, I am supposed to be dead, in jail,
or homeless.
But because of one caring adult, I'm not a statistic.
Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success.
Every child who winds up doing well, has had at least
one stable and committed relationship
with a supportive adult.
My friend and mentor, Reggie Joiner taught me
to think about it this way:
In the jar are 936 marbles.
Each one of these marbles represents a single week
from the birth of a kid, until that kid turns 18 years old.
So, if you know a nine year old, you've only got 468
marbles, or weeks, however you wanna look at it, remaining.
You know a 16 year old?
You got 104 marbles remaining.
Right here we are looking at time.
In fact, you are looking at all the time, or all the weeks
you have left to influence this kid, this kid,
or this kid
before they turn 18, and begin making
critical life decisions without your presence.
The difference between a statistic,
and a success story is you.
(uplifting music)