want to elevate your mind over porn i'm dr trish leigh in this video let's talk about
number one what creates your mind and what will enable you to use the best version of your mind
at all times or at least most times number two how your brain performance is related to
how your mind functions and then of course number three is your brain tip strategy for
the day what you can do to get into that best mind mode and use it so you can overcome porn
okay number one let's dig in what is your mind your mind is a product
of how your brain is performing but it reinforces your brain performance pattern which we'll talk
about in a minute but i like to think of it as your ego your mind is your ego and it is a
two-sided mask it is the personality that you like to tap into to make yourself feel safe and i often
refer to it as dr jekyll and mr hyde what i mean by that is that you can put one mask on when you
go out into the world and portray to the world the confident seemingly safe and secure person who's
got it all together am i right we all try to do it but when you get home and you actually have fear
and stress and anxiety and it's building you go into your man cave and you crave pornography
because of the feelings of littleness or of lack of worth or low self-esteem or just not fitting in
or just stress that builds up that's all a product of the mind now the mind is those two masks
but it happens because of over thinking and i'm sure you've heard of the phrase getting stuck
in your head when you're stuck in your head that loop starts going and you start thinking and over
analyzing everything when your mind gets you into that mode it creates the brain performance pattern
that keeps rumination and relentless constant thinking going it uses what's called high beta
high beta is extra fast brain speed that's going so fast that it keeps the thoughts coming
if you've been there any time lately you know what i'm talking about and it is uncomfortable
that is not a good place to be that fast brain pattern is going to drive you back into the screen
and it creates this mind that won't stop now if that mind even with the grandiosity of dr
jekyll and feelings of littleness of mr hyde if that mind's running the show what happens is
you can't tap into your true authentic self that's the version of you who's really in there
that doesn't need a mask sometimes we forget who that is now here's a cool thing to think about is
that the true version of yourself is actually more of a feeling being it's not a thinking human doing
it's a feeling being and so when you know how you feel about something yes you can express that in
thoughts and that's what healthy communication is but you're expressing how you feel about something
and that is something we are not good at as human doings or human seemingly beings so we're going to
get to your brain tip strategy but your mind is that thought process within you not necessarily
the feeling of your true self so moving on to number two which i already started to tell you
about is that it's created by this extra fast brain speed called high beta and if you use that
for too long it will wire your brain with constant thinking and then what happens is if you use it
too long your brain slows down simultaneously and you start using extra slow delta and slow theta
speeds those slow speeds in your brain that make you feel fatigued and overwhelmed and unmotivated
and brain foggy so when you're using too much fasting too much slow you're out in these extremes
you are not using the optimal brain pattern that's in the middle medium speed medium speed
is where it's at because you can feel calm and focused and in peace when you're in peace you can
process difficult emotions that come to you at peace doesn't mean you're always just beaming
with happiness like unicorns are springing over your head and rainbows are about to shoot out of
your forehead that's not peace and joy peace and joy is difficult things happen and you can stay in
a place where you still are calm you don't have to run and escape you can engage with those feelings
let them move through you feel the discomfort and let them move through you towards solution that is
how you evolve as a human doing into a being who can feel and we'll get there brain tip but what
i want you to know is that if your brain is stuck in that mode as it can get you will be thought you
will be stuck in your thinking thought mind you won't be able to feel and it will perpetuate the
need to go back into the screen hence the name of this video mind over porn we need to use your mind
for you to elevate your mind to get above the need for porn because then you won't need it and this
is how we're gonna do it number three number three is your brain tip strategy for the day now here's
what i want you to know is that brain performance and your mind are actually a two-way street so the
more you use all that thinking you're reinforcing the use of that extra fast speed which creates
more of it vicious cycle so you can use your mind your thoughts to slow the thinking down
and when you use your mind and your actions to slow the thinking down you actually are using less
high beta and more of that medium speed so just by acting and thinking in a new way you can in fact
rewire your brain that's what the majority of the program that i offer involves new action steps new
thinking new attitudes new personality no need for the mask and when you do that then you can stay in
a calm focused zone because your brain actually is in medium speed so your brain tip strategy
one of them for today is to get that journal out and write down your thoughts kind of keep
a pulse on your thoughts of the day think of your positive thoughts think of your negative thoughts
especially think of your negative thoughts so you can kind of corral them and here's what you're
going to do in your journal is reframe them into positive thoughts now this is pragmatic
optimism this isn't my life is so fantastic all the time it is my life has its challenges but i'm
prepared to be able to handle them and this is the essence of life is dealing with these challenges
and growing that's what i'm here for and when i grow i can help all the people around me to
be a better version of themselves too because i am using emotional maturity that's what we're talking
about here write down your positive thoughts tap into them write down your negative thoughts
and reframe them this is a skilled called meta meta's always been one of my favorite things in
the entire world metacognition is thinking about thinking and that's what we're doing right now
very high level skill but i know you can do it and i bet you you'll even enjoy it so when you're
thinking about your thinking i want you to reframe the negative thoughts into positive thoughts
now here's the next step next step of the brain tip strategy is figure out how you feel stop the
overthinking slow it down reframe the negative we're gonna work with the thoughts first but then
slow yourself down give yourself time and space to see how you feel if you're sad cry if you're mad
punch not cars boxing bags if you are frustrated yell if you're happy smile if you feel like you
want to connect with someone hug somebody lots of oxytocin but feel the feels feel how you are
feeling and allow it to move through you it will not kill you it actually will make you stronger
so when you use the skill of meta and you tap into your feelings here's the beauty now go
out on a limb and be vulnerable and communicate those feelings to someone that you care about
who is emotionally mature who can handle it so let me give you an example if you have a
falling out with someone it you can either be tortured by it and be upset and you can place
blame on that person or yourself you can find fault you can go down the rabbit hole of being
super upset that this thing is happening in your world or you can look at it and you can think okay
maybe more time and space right now between me and that person will give us time to process
our feelings but you actually have to do it you go to work on processing it you give the person
time and space and if this person is going to be in your life time and space during certain seasons
of your life are good it doesn't have to be a bad thing it doesn't mean it feels good in the moment
but it can be good for your relationship overall that gets you back to a place of peace so if you
can get yourself to a calm peaceful mode even in the storm of life you can keep your brain in that
medium speed through your thoughts and actions so if you have a falling out with someone you
reframe it that time and space is okay for us and you stay in peace and you still send love towards
that person without the blaming without the faults without the anger without the attack if you do
that you will get more of the same more calm piece more better brain pattern it will work for you
now here's the second piece and then we'll wrap up is that communicate your feelings to someone
else say i'm feeling sad i'm feeling mad let somebody else in on that vulnerability of your
feelings it takes you out of your thinking head and it puts you into your feelings so that you
can get your mind over porn okay i hope that helps you out and if you're looking for help
on the journey please reach out to me dr trish lee.com i have programs in different shapes and
sizes designed to help you do such that okay so as always control your brain or it'll control you