-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy-winning actor and director
you know from his work on shows
such as "Ozark," "Arrested Development,"
as well as his podcast "SmartLess."
He stars in "Air," which will be in theaters April 5th.
Let's take a look.
-51% of a shoe has to be white.
NBA is extremely strict about it. They'll fine him.
-They'll fine him? -$5,000 a game.
We're [bleep].
-What about more red?
A lot more red.
And what about if we just pay the fines?
Make a commercial out of it?
You know, it'll give us headlines.
They're going to fine Michael Jordan for being too colorful.
-Please welcome to the show Jason Bateman, everybody.
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Welcome to the show, my friend.
-Seth.
-It's very nice to have you here.
-It's been a little too long.
-It's been a little bit too long since I last saw you.
You know, I think maybe the last time I saw you --
I've seen you since -- but the last time I saw you
in this physical building was when you hosted "SNL" in 2005.
-Yes. -You've come back since,
but after I left.
-Yes. -Yes.
It was not as much fun without me.
-I said "I'm not coming back till he goes."
-Okay. -You know?
They accommodated. -So it was the opposite
of what I thought it was?
I thought it was hard for you to come back.
It was super easy. -The truth is hurtful.
Now, what's going on here at 12:30?
There was an F-bomb in the clip.
-Yeah. -I heard you drop an S-bomb
in the "Closer Look." -Yeah.
-Do those go unbleeped?
-It turns out the censor
always falls asleep right before it starts.
[ Laughter ]
-So you guys can just run amok?
-We run [bleep]. I'll just say it.
There you go. [ Laughter ]
I don't care. [ Cheers and applause ]
-They love it. -What are they gonna do?
-They love it. -They love it. Look.
It does get beeped. Bleeped.
I've been told it's bleep. -I've got my 11-year-old
daughter here, so let's mind it.
-Yeah. I'm sorry. -No, she --
-But she must understand it, right?
-She can drop a pretty hot F-bomb.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, she has an older sister, right?
So if you've got a 16-year-old sister
and you're 11, you've heard the F-bombs.
-Yeah. And there was like, what --
So your kids are... -Seven, five and one.
-Are you cursing around them?
-No, but they're learning it.
-You have never cursed around them?
-I mean, I think I've cursed around them,
but they live near a park in New York City.
It's not like... [ Laughter ]
-What, are they moving dime bags out there?
[ Laughter ]
How are they hearing...
-They have internships
with some of the, like, lower-end dealers.
-I got it. So they're just packaging.
-'Cause I told them, "Don't go out there
and just think you can, like, take over a corner."
-Sure. -Like, you know.
-They're probably packaging
and they're giving to the guy.
-It helps them learn just more responsibility.
Because I'll tell you this. You can lie to me,
but you cannot lie to the guys who run that corner.
[ Laughter ]
-Now, when you do your disciplining,
do you ever slip and curse and say --
Is there even a "God damn it"?
-No, I don't think there's a God d--
I'm very good. The worst thing. Did this happen to you?
The worst thing is when I get mad at my kids,
they laugh at me. There's something.
I think I get mad like a cartoon.
-Yeah. -Oh, do you got her over here?
-Oh, yeah. She's watching the way it's made.
-Oh, God. So she actually came into
the studio to hear my F-bombs. I'm so sorry.
-Exactly.
-I made it very clear.
When you bring children under 13,
I like them to wear noise-canceling headphones...
[ Laughter ]
...for the entirety of the interview.
-That would be smart.
-This is a film about Nike and Michael Jordan.
Very beautiful '80s flourishes throughout this whole film.
-To the extent there is beauty in the '80s, yes.
-Yes. [ Laughter ]
This was a decade you enjoyed.
-I did well in the '80s. But it is tacky.
-Yeah. -The '80s is tacky.
There was a kitsch factor to the '80s, right?
The "Miami Vice" turquoise and the Day-Glo.
-Do you think we knew it was kitsch at the time, though?
-Well, clearly, I think it's not kitsch
because this is still here. [ Laughter ]
-You've muted your colors,
but otherwise this is "Miami Vice."
-Yeah, it's like I'm waiting for the reshoots,
but I don't think I get the concept of the film
that's already in the theaters.
So I can cut it now. -They might want to go back.
They might want to go back and pick anything up.
How were your '90s?
-The '90s were quiet. -Okay.
-Except for my nightlife.
-Oh, interesting.
-Yeah, that doesn't usually dovetail
with a rise in the career at the same time.
-Yeah. No, the career usually plummets if you're out at night.
-Yeah. -And the golf handicap goes up.
-Well, there you go. -You know?
-The 2000s, you hit the 2000s hard.
-2000s did alright. -You were back.
-Because I got "Arrested Development"
and that sort of hit the reset for me.
-Well, there you go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
A nice way. A very nice -- -I got very lucky.
-A nice reset, that show.
-I mean, I would have done a show half as good, you know?
Like, I was just looking for a job.
-I got to be honest. And I mean this.
There weren't even a lot of shows
half as good as "Arrested Development."
That's how good "Arrested Development" was.
-Mitch Hurwitz is a real genius, that fella.
Then there's that Will Arnett on there.
But we still succeeded despite him.
-It was lovely. -Yeah, bless his heart.
-It's lovely, though that you guys,
you and Will obviously are still working together.
Sean Hayes as well.
-Yeah, we got this podcast going.
-An incredible podcast. [ Cheers and applause ]
Incredible triumph.
And one of the most lovely things
is you're very supportive of each other,
and Sean is going to be on Broadway.
He's got a show that's coming here.
-Yes, It's called "Good Night, Oscar."
-I saw it in Chicago.
-Yeah. -It's incredible.
-It's about a guy that wins an Oscar
and sleeps with the Oscar like a stuffed animal?
-I think you... [ Laughter ]
No, that was the screenplay I sent you.
-Yes. [ Laughter ]
Sorry. -That you did not give me feedback on yet.
-I'd check your e-mails. -Okay.
-Are you going to go check out? -There's going to
be a pilgrimage out here for opening night,
which is April 24th, 25th, something like that, guys.
-Okay, gotcha. -Check it out, please.
-It's very exciting. It's a wonderful show.
And he's incredible in it. -You did see it?
-I did see it. I saw it in Chicago in previews. Yeah.
-Yeah. Apparently it was good enough
to make it out here. -Yeah.
-I mean, they were in Chicago and everybody was like,
"This is good. We should bring this to New York."
-So I don't have to worry about coming up
with something falsely complimentary backstage?
-Interesting. That's your concern?
-Well, here's the thing.
From what I understand,
on Broadway, if you are semi-recognizable
or basically have a SAG card...
-If you maybe had a moment in the '80s.
-Right. And you're in the audience
and you watch the show,
if you don't go backstage and say hi or something,
that is tantamount to giving it a pan, like that
you hated it because apparently the people in the show,
they know if you're semi-famous, if you're in the audience,
and you're supposed to go back.
I think that that's really presumptuous.
Like, I don't know the people that are in the show.
It's like, "Oh, I'm famous, you're famous. We should talk."
That's cringey, right? That's very cringey.
But apparently, no, that's what you're supposed to do.
And Sean's case, I will do it anyway.
-And are you concerned that if you don't like the show,
that Sean will be able to clock your insincerity?
-Yeah, I've got skills, but I'm not that good of an actor.
[ Laughter ]
-Do you want to, like, practice on me?
-Want to workshop something?
-Yeah. Like, so I'll be Sean. -Right.
-And it's after the show and I want --
So your backstory here is you really didn't like it.
-Did not like the show? -Yeah, and you thought
the biggest problem was Sean's performance.
-Right, right. Here we go.
-Alright, I'll open the dressing room.
Okay? -Okay.
Sean!
Oh, my God.
[ Laughter ]
Ah. You've already changed.
[ Laughter ]
Right? -No.
-We talk about everything but the show.
-That's really good, though.
[ Cheers and applause ]
"You've already changed."
-You've already changed. -"You've already changed."
-Oh, you must be exhausted. [ Laughter ]
-I think the real giveaway is that you bought yourself time
by saying his name. -Right.
-Which he clearly knows you know.
-And I elongated it. -Yes.
-Seeean! -Seeean!
-As you're trying to think up something to say.
-To go back to the movie for a second,
this is, you know, Michael Jordan.
This is the Bulls. You're an L.A. guy.
Were you a Laker fan during the Jordan years?
-There was a...
I was pretty cheesy in the '90s.
More cheesy than I am now, let's say.
And I went ahead and I bought two seats at the Forum,
which is a cheesy thing to do. I mean, not cheesy.
It's just like it's "I'm big time."
-It's a little show-off. -Yeah, I wouldn't do that today.
I do like going to sporting events,
but these seats had like your plaque,
like your name underneath it. They were called Senate seats.
So you own those seats for everything at the Forum.
This is the place where they played before the Crypto.
And so I was there for every Laker game, every Kings game,
every boxing match, every concert.
I mean, it was -- I had a little credit card for the Forum Club,
the bar inside, so that I could really cut down
on the time it takes to get inebriated.
You know? It was a fun decade,
but not very prosperous.
-And when it was over, did they give you the chair?
Did they give you your two seats?
-No, they just sold it to the next cheesy guy.
[ Laughter ]
-They were prying off the plaque with a screwdriver.
-You run out of money after living
like that for a while. They take the chair back.
-When they say, "Mr. Bateman,
your Forum card has been denied."
-Yeah, exactly.
"We'll take that back, please."
But yeah, I got to see a lot.
I got to see Jordan play there quite a bit.
-Were you one of those L.A. actors at the time
who was playing in the pickup basketball games?
-There was a little bit of a group of those.
Yeah. I was working at Warner Bros.
George Clooney had a game there right behind the "ER" stage.
-There you go. I've always heard about that.
That must have been a pretty cool game to be a part of.
-Well, I was not a part of that.
-Okay. [ Laughter ]
-You were there. You were physically nearby.
-When they got thirsty, they'd go,
"And we'll take the bottle."
And so I'd give the water.
No, I would do little drive-bys, you know,
to see if they needed that extra player.
-Is that in sort of Hollywood studio lot golf cart?
-Exactly, yeah.
With no horn. So you kind of go,
"Hey, beep, beep, guys. Anybody...?
Want to...?" [ Laughter ]
No, Noah Wyle and and George
were just fine playing one-on-one.
-Yeah. I mean, you got to really be
willing to suffer through awkwardness
if you let a man slowly go by in a golf cart.
[ Laughter ]
-Just doing tight circles.
Just doing figure eights out in front of it.
-I want to close because you were in a sketch
I think about all the time in 2005.
I'm going to bring it back to the beginning.
When we met at "SNL" -- We didn't meet,
but the last time we saw each other in this building.
And it was -- Do you remember T.T. and Mario?
Do you remember that sketch?
-T.T. and Mario. I do not.
-You and Amy Poehler -- -Was I T.T. or Mario?
-You were neither. -Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-You guys were doing an album ad
for a very famous soul group called T.T. and Mario,
and it was like one of those like sort of '70 record album
where you're like, "Do you remember this hit song?"
And so you introduced a song, and this is a song
that was so beautiful and moving to me --
and this is a true story --
my wife and I put it on our wedding playlist.
-Come on. -Yeah.
And I think for everybody who doesn't remember,
this is a really gorgeous song. Can we just watch a clip?
-Let's do it.
-I know you're going to know this one.
Who didn't groove on this bad mama jama in 1977?
"Roller Skate Love."
♪♪
-♪ You are so beautiful ♪
-♪ And you are my knight in shining armor ♪
-♪ Let me put it in a little bit ♪
-♪ Just the tip ♪
[ Laughter ]
-Really beautiful. [ Cheers and applause ]
Really beautiful. It was our first dance.
What a joy to have you back. It is so lovely to see you.
Thanks for making the time for us, my friend.
-I'm so glad to be here. Thank you, buddy.
-That's Jason Bateman, everybody. "Air" premieres
globally tomorrow. We'll be right back
with Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.