Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video
I'm super excited about this week's topic if you are watching this chances
Are you absolutely know the truth about someone in your life?
Whether it's your partner a family member a friend a co-worker
Where you've been scratching your head for a while trying to figure this person out and all of a sudden you realize okay?
I can blatantly see this person for who they are now
So now you're starting to expose the fact that you believe this person to be narcissistic
emotionally unhealthy
Toxic not good for you, etc
But now what happens when you've come to this realization and it's being known in your relationship with this person
So basically you're starting to hold this person
Accountable you're beginning to expose this person for who they actually are because they're not the person that you once thought that they were
What begins to happen with that person?
so
How are they going to react now that you begin to hold them accountable and call them out on their actions?
one of the most important things to understand when you have kind of figured this person now and you're starting to realize this and
You're either possibly leaving a relationship ending a friendship holding someone accountable
exposing them on some level is every narcissist or every toxic person and healthy person is going to react
Differently to you holding them accountable to you exposing them
So they're gonna use different tactics and approaches
In order to deal with what's actually happening now in this relationship that you know who they actually are
so basically you have been a very good source of narcissistic supply for this person and
Now you're no longer a good source of supply because you are exposing them. You were holding them accountable
You're doing all the things that someone who is narcissistic or suffers from MPD
Absolutely dreads. They don't they don't want anyone in their life. Who?
Exposes them for who they really are holds them accountable for their actions
forces them to take responsibility
for themselves
So now that you're kind of switching gears, there's going to be a little bit of backlash that happens. So
Since a narcissist is actually addicted to narcissistic supply
They need it in order to live because they don't have a good healthy sense of themselves. They don't know how to stay connected
They constantly need outside validation
They need people around them to
Not hold them accountable
Not tell them that hey what you did was a little messed up. Hey, you shouldn't have done that
Hey
I
actually also need to think about how I feel and what I need in this relationship and it can't just be all about you and
What you want to do? So because
They need supply and they're addicted to it when you take any addiction away from someone who's unhealthy
There's going to be withdrawals. You can also look at narcissistic supply as control and that's essentially what it is
I want to control what you think of me. I want to control what others think of me
I want to control how you treat me
I want you to basically do this this and this and then I'll be completely happy
So that's really what supply is is a person being able to give the narcissus everything that they want to hear. They want to see
Not holding them accountable
Sweeping everything under the rug and not ever
really even thinking about what that person needs because it's all about what I need as the narcissist so I can control
Everything then I don't have to worry about everyone
anyone ever leaving me or abandoning me and really that at the core of every
Narcissist that's the biggest fear and that's why they need nurses to supply and that's why they need to control
How everyone sees them is because if I can control a situation then I'm not in a vulnerable state because I'm in control
So not only is the withdrawal
Having happening and not only is the narcissist probably going to start to get very angry
And use different tactics to kind of punish you what they really want to do is they really want to prove you wrong
Especially to the people around you
so this is kind of when if you were dating someone and the relationship ends no matter if you got
Discarded or if you left the relationship yourself one approach to the withdrawal of supply
which is you you figuring them out is them immediately jumping into another relationship and
Flaunting it all over everything social media friends family because they need to convince
Everyone that you were at the problem that it wasn't them that they did something wrong that they just weren't happy in that relationship
And this is the relationship that's gonna make them really happy. This is finally the love of their life
They thought it was you but it's not anymore now
It's this person and I see so many people
Very often get discouraged when they were in a relationship whether they were discarded or someone disc or the narcissist
discarded them and that nurses immediately jumps into another relationship and while it is
Extremely hurtful and painful you have to understand that none of what is happening has anything to do with you and who you are
Meeting there's nothing you could have done differently
You had nothing to do with you nagging too much or being a terrible partner and doing all these wrong things
It has to do with this person
It has to do with the insecurities that they have within themselves
and the fact that you're no longer a good source of supply and what I always tell people is if you're
Exposing and your turn and you're actually figuring out who this person is
That is like the best gift that you could ever get
and especially if you are no longer a good source of supply and someone leaves you that's an even better gift because that means that
You aren't willing to put up with any of the BS that that person was trying to get you know
what begins to happen is once you have kind of figured this person out one of the key things that always happens is a
Narcissistic rage and this is where you begin to see
Pure evil. There is no other way
I can describe this other than you are seeing a person
That you've never seen before that you never in a million years
whatever thought was even capable of being this person like talk about the complete opposite of what you first met in the beginning of your
relationship the things that are done in a narcissistic rage can honestly be
extremely dangerous now, you have to understand this is just like any other disorder or disease in the sense that because
They're going through withdrawals because they're so angry at you for essentially taking away their favorite toy
Which is you you and exposing them and showing the world like hey
I see who this and you guys don't see this just that whole ability to see this person for who they are
Whereas maybe no one else has ever done that before
that will cause this person to go into a
Severe serious rage and this rage is basically just a coping mechanism
That they have in order to on some level deal with what's happening. Now what's happening is because you're exposing them
you're basically showing not only down but also the world that they're not perfect that they're actually flawed and
That goes against the entire image that this person has tried to portray in the character that they've tried to play for
So long, so, of course, they're going to get extremely upset and angry now
like I said
What can happen in a narcissistic rage is very different depending on the person?
But there are ton of things that could happen in terms of physical abuse verbal
Abuse I mean violence
bullying
Just being very relentless with what it is that they want they could begin
Gaslighting you they can begin spreading rumors about you
This is where the smear campaigns come into play or of course
They could also use the I'm the victim approach which is it wasn't I'm the victim
I was in this terrible relationship with this person that just didn't understand me and these are the reasons why the
Relationships ending or or this is what this person actually does and I'm the poor helpless victim
That is never understood by anyone so it can go either way in
Terms of this narcissistic rage that they're about to start doing
So now once the rage is kind of like subsided a little bit
They're gonna go back into a little bit of their normal tactics, right? So they're gonna go right back into manipulation
This is kind of like that abusive cycle that I talk about like so so often
control manipulation and supply or like the three things that every
Narcissist is going to need and going to use in their games with people
They're quote relationships with people
Now the rage was just basically
backlash of them feeling out of control because you now see them differently and then what they want you to see so they're gonna go
Back into manipulation in order to start to hopefully gain control over
Perhaps what you think of them or perhaps what other people now now think of them
So now in this phase of manipulation, there's a lot of things that can happen
One of the things that often happens is a little bit of cruelty because they still know that on some level
You know who they are
right
so they might try to
Manipulate you and be the nice person again and try to like when you over but they're gonna do certain things
Just cruel things to basically get under your skin
to expose who you are
So this is when they're gonna start picking at you because remember this person
Knows exactly who you are - they know exactly where your wounds. Are they know where to cut you at your knees
They know what to do to you to get under your skin and they're gonna try every trick in the book
So they're gonna provoke you they're gonna say things to you
They're gonna want to kind of shove a new supply in their face or show you that you're not important to them either
so they're gonna play this childish game now because they want to like I said,
They want to provoke you because they want to get on your skin so you can't react because by you
reacting and you becoming irrational or you getting entangled in the drama or you
You know going to arrayed yourself over something that they're doing and they're saying it basically makes them feel better
Because they and it sounds so second twisted
But they actually get a high off of you suffering because on some level it proves to them that they matter that they exist that
They're there and they can get on your skin and I don't even know if it makes them feel better
It just makes them feel important
Like hey, I'm still I matter to this person because I can get under their skin and they can react to me
It's it's a high
It's just the same thing. As you know, being a great source of narcissistic supply and giving this person admiration and love and yep
I'm gonna sweep down under the rug and whatever you want in their relationship
That is no different than you getting entangled in the drama that they're trying to
Try to give you and you becoming enraged it's the same high that they're gonna get
That's why they always say and nurses this needs attention. No matter if it's negative attention or positive attention
So, like I said, they're gonna use gas lighting
They're gonna use smear campaigns
If you have to know co-parent with someone who's narcissistic and the relationships ending or you going through the divorce?
This is when they're going to say no, you cannot talk to your child right now because I them they're gonna withhold
Financial stuff from you they're going to withhold information from you
They're not gonna tell you things because they want to hurt you
Remember all narcissistic rage is wanting to hurt you. So everything that is now happening to you
Whatever backlash this person is giving you threats
Bullying even physical, you know abuse verbal abuse being childish
Whatever it is that this person is doing is a result of the fact that they have been exposed and they want to do
anything in order to hurt you now if they start with little things, you know, like being
vindictive or a bully or saying something to kind of get on your skin and you never
React they're gonna actually keep coming with like bigger guns and bigger guns. So just be prepared
You know, whatever it is that you're going through it is
Extremely difficult dealing with this type of person when they're in this kind of a rage
so once you know who a person is and they've been exposed and
You're in the midst of this you will 100%
Watch this video and say yes, that's exactly what happened to me
And the more you kind of stand on your own two feet and you're like I got this I have that wall up and everything
That you're trying to give me it's just bouncing right off of me. I hate to say this but nine times out of ten
It's gonna come back even bigger and bigger until eventually this person learns. Okay? I cannot break this person
It's just like any boundaries with any person if you've always been a certain way for so long and you begin to change
It's going to cause the people in your life to go
Okay
I guess I can't get away with that because you have to teach people
who the new you is what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not willing to tolerate and for some people that have
very
Relentless abusive personalities it can take a really really long time. I know tons I get tons of messages from people saying, okay
I'm responding I'm responding I'm not reacting and I'm still in the midst of this with this person like they're not learning and
Now it's almost like they're starting to beat you down
You have to keep at it because I'm telling you at some point it out
We will stop now if you are in any kind of relationship with this person and on some level
The manipulation sense them that the manipulation is starting to work a little bit. Here's where hoovering comes into play
So now I've gone from complete
devil evil person narcissistic rage doing so many things that are completely
abusive and hurtful and vindictive and nasty and all these things to
You basically kind of gettin beaten down a little bit where now you're a little vulnerable and you're like, okay
I guess I was going overboard or whatever the case is. Here's where the love bombing comes in
Here's where they're going to use fear. Here's where they're gonna use guilt
So all of these hoovering tactics are going to come back at you if they sense on some level that you could possibly come back
to them now if you haven't left the relationship if the relationship is still going on and you're just slowly starting to
Figure a person out
I get a ton of emails from people that say I
Am in a relationship with someone who I think has MPD like what do I do?
What you're going to end up doing is you're gonna start holding this person accountable
You're gonna start setting boundaries and this is where all of this comes into play
so if you never discard the relationship don't be surprised if at some
point they're gonna find a new source of supply very very quickly because they understand I'm never gonna get away with
half of the things that I want to get away with with this person this person no longer thinks I walk on water and
Those two things right? There are cars for them to jump ship now
Once they have mentally jumped ship in their mind a discard as 100% gonna happen
But a discard will never happen until they have already found a new source of supply
So I hope you guys have enjoyed this video
If you did do not forget to give it a thumbs up and don't forget to comment down below as well
I am so excited for 2020 and if you are interested in private coaching
I will link all that information down below as well as my new nine-week course on a
ton of things
Emotional abuse healing narcissistic abuse learning how to love yourself learning how to parent yourself learning how to have peace and contentment in your life
learning how to motivate yourself
So if you aren't interested in that tall drink of water
I will link all of that information down below as well and I will see you next week