- I'm already making my wedding plans at Applebee's,
so we can see how things are going for me.
We are here at the one, the only Applebee's.
And I am trying the most popular menu items,
including a massive shark bowl drink
and all of their desserts.
I upgraded from my other stretchy pants
to like real stretchy pants.
Like, these are the ones that you have
for like when you're pregnant.
I'm expecting to be fully pregnant
with an Applebee's baby by the end of this.
Let's go.
(upbeat music)
I'm locked out.
My mom and I used to come here
before seeing a movie every week.
We were regulars at our Applebee.
Applebee's, Applebee.
Round one!
(fast-forward squeaking)
(laughing)
We're not done, there's more!
Thank you. (laughing)
We have to acknowledge that there is
a massive, blue shark bowl on this table.
It's nine a.m.
Ah, great way to start the day.
That's really good.
So we have a plethora of options to start with.
Beer cheese is just one of the greatest creations
on this planet, I don't know.
(upbeat music)
It's like perfectly salty, cheesy.
Just like ask for double, don't even question it,
you're gonna want double.
That's the winner, we can leave now.
Drink break. (air horns blowing)
Spinach and artichoke dip, you can never go wrong with it.
What you're really looking for is
that right amount of cheesiness to spinach ratio.
You don't want too much spinach, but let's see here.
Pure comfort, cheesy spinach, happiness.
I can't let this go.
I feel like if I just sit here and talk with it
while I talk about the other food, it'll be okay.
Next, we're doing the buffalo wings.
They're boneless wings, by the way.
I always prefer boneless.
I feel like you're just getting more meat,
so you're getting more bang for your buck, in a sense.
This is the number one seller at Applebee's.
I personally think that the beer cheese and pretzels
should be the number one seller, but fine, fine.
Okay.
This one actually has a kick to it.
My biggest complaint with buffalo wings anywhere you go
is that it's never spicy enough, I feel like.
And this one actually has
just the right amount of spiciness to it.
And it's crunchy.
Bonus points.
Oh, napkin!
(laughing)
You're not wrong.
Like, you're not wrong, this is how many I go through.
I'm the messiest eater.
Oh, I drowned my sharks.
Oh no, come back!
Seen a lot of chicken tenders in my days.
I'm already really excited about the pure size of these.
And I'm really happy that
they do it with honey mustard here.
Honey mustard with chicken tenders is just a national icon.
You can never go wrong with chicken tenders.
There's a reason they're a classic.
Crunchy and crispy, perfectly crunchy.
This is the classic combo appetizer.
It's a hefty boy.
We already tried the wing, but might as well try it again.
You never know, this could be totally different.
Jury's out, let me see.
After a quick study here, they are the same.
Just had to do my due diligence as a journalist.
We have a beautiful motz stick here.
Let's see if I can do it.
Sometimes I can really get it.
Oh, come one.
Everyone at my school used to trade each other
to get mozzarella sticks from the cafeteria.
They were so good, people would
get in like fistfights over them.
And that's exactly what these are to me.
I almost wanna put it in ranch instead.
I think it's better in the ranch.
We've got a standard chicken quesadilla here.
Look at that cheese to chicken ratio.
They are not messing around here.
Oh, there's some sour cream.
I'm gonna dip it in the ranch, still.
I like when quesadillas are very easy to chew.
I like when it's soft, and that's exactly what this is.
And it has a little kick to it.
We have chicken wonton tacos here.
Gotta put a little lime on them.
I think it's just genius to use wonton,
basically, fry a wonton and use it as the taco shell.
Because it's going to be so crunchy.
This one is a little addicting, the way it makes me feel.
It's perfectly sweet, it's perfectly savory,
perfectly crispy.
I feel like this is one of the best days of my lives.
I ditched the shark drink, but look what came
and is still here.
The beer cheese, I'm honestly going to keep
for as long as I can.
It's going to add the little extra touch
to every single thing that comes my way.
You can put it on everything.
It is so good.
(fast-forward squeaking)
Make way, make way!
(fast-forward squeaking)
Oh, and you get to keep it. - You do!
- Oooo, we've got a cute little sword here!
It's not called a pirate's margarita
or anything, though, is it?
Our server had warned me, by the way,
this is a very strong drink, and she's right.
The shrimp and parm sirloin we have here
is kind of like a surf and turf, kind of,
you know, all in one bite here.
I had mine cooked medium rare.
This is like so decadent and rich.
This makes you feel like you're worth
a lot more money than you are.
It's the sauce.
It's like that perfect tangy sauce,
because it has the lemon in there.
It's not just cheese.
It has a little extra oomph going on there.
I'm excited because this rigatoni dish has a breadstick.
And you know what goes really great with breadsticks?
Leftover beer cheese from round one.
Oh my gosh, it's congealing, I don't even care.
The breadsticks are also very good with the beer cheese.
We have stuffed rigatoni.
It's stuffed with ricotta.
That's beautiful.
The like bruschetta on top is giving it
way more of a fresher feel.
I thought this one was gonna feel a little heavy,
just because it's pasta and stuffed with cheese,
but it has much more of a fresher, lighter side to it.
(food sizzling)
Oh my gosh.
This, like, garlic butter situation with shrimp and chicken,
it's, oh, oh god, no, come back, shrimp!
Sorry.
We need a shrimp, we need a chicken,
and why don't we put a little mushy on here?
There we go.
Don't do me dirty.
(upbeat music)
It feels like homemade in a nice way.
Four cheese mac and cheese
with honey chicken tenders and bacon.
Did I say that all right?
Honey pepper, honey pepper chicken tenders
with bacon and four cheeses.
There's something about this that sounds like
your childhood really grown up, all mixed together.
And I have a feeling this one's gonna be like
the ultimate comfort dish.
Probably not the thing that gets you, makes you skinny,
but it looks so good.
Again, if it was just the mac and cheese on itself,
it would probably be just like one note.
But if you were having a really bad day,
you would just order this and you'd be happy.
This, this will make you happy.
I'm gonna do it wrong.
Champ.
I love that you get the shaker on the side.
You have control over your own life and your sobriety.
Bye!
I think I would serve this one at my wedding.
(laughing) This one is so good.
I really love the parm, the shrimp, and the steak together.
- [Woman] Yeah, that alcohol is really getting to you.
- Yes, it is.
I'm already making my wedding plans at Applebee's,
so we can see how things are going for me.
- [Woman] Are you just, you all right there?
(laughing)
- I just wanna get to the bottom of this.
(upbeat music)
Don't mind me, just a girl, her margarita, and beer cheese.
Let's do it.
(fast-forward squeaking)
Thank you.
Aaah, it's a big boy.
The blend of margarita with a beer, mmm,
just do one after the other.
It's a great way to finish your meal.
I've been thinking about the quesadilla burger
ever since I knew that we were coming here
because there's something about
mixing two things together like this
that just sounds so wrong, but it's so damn right.
You've got tortilla, and then cheese,
and then another layer of cheese, and a burger,
and then cheese, and then tortilla.
I wanna hold it and cradle it like a baby.
The best junk food you could ever make for yourself.
A beautiful, glorious mashup.
No one asked for it, but am I happy it's here?
Yes, so happy.
Oh my god.
I'm like not even looking at anything else.
This is all that matters to me.
Just order it, just order it for me, please.
This is so good.
Triple bacon cheeseburger.
Look at those layers, they, the bacon cheeseburger,
pickle, it's just beautifully, it's even.
It's nice when you see that.
(upbeat music)
Classic cheeseburger with bacon on it.
Nothing bad to say here.
We have barbecue brisket tacos.
I'm just happy anytime it's a flour, like, tortilla shell
versus, like a soft shell versus a hard shell.
I, as a kid, hated the hard shell ones.
I thought that they hurt your teeth
and that they took too much work.
And another thing about these is,
look at all the crispiness going in here.
You've got crispy onions, and then there,
it looks like some sort of spicy mayo type sauce.
I just have a feeling that this is gonna give me
the same feeling that the quesadilla burger gave me.
That's like, that's where I'm at with this one.
(upbeat music)
Mmm, oh my gosh.
No.
If this didn't have the onions, the crispy onions,
I feel like I'd feel totally different about it.
Maybe I'd serve this one as the appetizer at my wedding.
And then the sirloin shrimp from earlier as the main meal.
- [Woman] What happened, what happened?
- So with the taco, the sauce went down my arm
and I tried to clean it,
but then the sauce went all the way down.
It's into my elbow.
The sauce is in my elbow.
I have a wet brisket elbow.
This round, we're ending on a salad
because we have to move to desserts.
So we're doing a lovely palate cleanser.
I'm taking a moment.
Really green, there's vegetables.
It's just like, I'm eating the vegetables,
yes, this is a salad, it's a cesar salad,
so you know it's like, it's not like the healthy one.
You know it's still, like, the indulgent one.
But it does taste healthy.
Okay.
I ate a vegetable, now I'm allowed to go to dessert.
I'm ready, I'm prepared.
(fast-forward squeaking)
Sometimes you just have to let drinks go
so better ones can come your way.
Like this red apple sangria.
I feel like this is actually the stretch
that always does it for me.
Oh yeah, there we go.
(upbeat music)
My eyes always get a little blurry on the last round.
Like, they get a little glazed-over-looking at this point.
It could also be the tequila.
I would say, you know, if you're gonna
order a cocktail for dessert, one, we should be friends,
two, this seems like the appropriate choice.
It's like, oh, that tastes like adult apple juice.
Be careful with that one.
I have feelings about the triple chocolate meltdown
because one, it's the most popular dessert,
and two, I also feel like I'm about to have a meltdown.
So, feels like we're really on the same wavelength.
I just need a moment of silence.
It's like a chocolate molten lava cake.
And the center is like a warm, gooey brownie.
If you like your brownie kind of undercooked, in a way,
that's kind of what it reminds me of.
Oh my gosh.
(upbeat music)
Are we, oh, I just got chocolate, did I get it in my hair?
- [Woman] Nope.
- Okay.
This one comes out sizzling and it comes with
maple cream cheese sauce drizzled all over this thing.
But I am much more of a chocolate fan.
I'm a chocolate girl, through and through.
So the meltdown, it think, is going to still be number one
and this will be number two for me right now for desserts.
But, this one has quite a show, like, that's a show,
getting it hot, steamy, sauce all over it.
The hot fudge sundae shooter
is quite literally what you think it is.
It's a shooter full of fudge and ice cream.
This one's nice and simple.
I'm still voting for meltdown. (laughing)
We have, last but not least, one final dessert.
(sighing happily) Drinking my juicy juice in between.
I'm thinking about the quesadilla burger.
I'm thinking about that shrimp sirloin still.
Thinking about the beer cheese.
And my wedding, not the actual idea of one,
but the food I'm gonna have.
I feel like I've had such a great time here.
I've always had a good time at Applebee's, I feel like.
It reminds me of my mom, reminds me of my friends,
I just, this place is so much fun.
I'm sad it's coming to an end.
- [Woman] Are you gonna Applebee's drunk girl cry?
- I think if you cry in an Applebee's,
you're never allowed back.
Or you have, like you can't come back for a year.
Like, I feel like that has to be a rule.
So I'm not, I'm like tearing up,
because I'm thinking about it being the end
and I don't want it to be the end
and I've had a really great time.
I'm not going to cry because I want to be invited back.
We have to end, we can't stay here forever.
We have our very beautiful caramel apple fritter.
(upbeat music)
Mmm.
I had very low expectations for the fritter
because I'm not a sweet person and I'm not a fritter person.
It reminds me of a carnival.
It reminds me of super crunchy funnel cake.
You know how sometimes, when you get your funnel cake,
like little crispy ends, the like darker golden parts?
That's what this reminds me of.
(blowing out a breath)
- [Woman] I think you're good.
- Okay.
- [Woman] Let's wrap it up.
(upbeat music)
- I don't think I ever make it to dessert, ever,
because I'm so distracted by everything else.
But the meltdown and the fritter, they are,
they're worth saving space for, if you can.
If there's anything on the menu that I missed
that is your favorite, let me know below.
I have to go.
(upbeat music)