It’s time to start a series on the Mongol invasions of Japan.
Everyone loves the Mongols.
They were great horse archers, they had a fat empire, and they made great beef.
In 1266, Kublai Khan was sitting in his office looking at a map of the huge sprawling Mongol Empire
and thought, like all men, “Hm, it should be bigger.”
He was already close to completing his Eurasian Countries on Land Deck, so he turned towards the sea.
Unfortunately, horses can’t run on water. The Mongols didn’t fare too well at sea.
Leading a Mongol army out to sea is like investing in Bitcoin.
It seems like a great idea up until you’re suddenly underwater.
The Mongols invaded Japan twice.
The invasions actually had a huge effect on the Japanese.
It forced them to change many things about how they governed.
Let’s talk about the leadup to war.
Why did Kublai Khan want to invade Japan?
What was this Mongolian’s beef with Japan?
It’s impossible to know what’s in a person’s head, but that’s never stopped us before.
Historians have thrown out some guesses, and I’ve caught them here for you in my Baseball Glove of Knowledge.
Maybe he wanted to impress the Chinese elite.
Our man Kublai was the grandson of the great Genghis Khan, founder of the Mongol Empire
and history’s most incessant lover.
Kublai was the Mongol leader at the time, and Northern China was part of his territory.
Japan annoyingly had not sent anyone to pay tribute to China for centuries,
so forming some kind of relationship with Japan, or having Japan under his thumb,
would have impressed the Chinese leadership.
Kublai was Mongolian, but he was a total Chinaboo (Sinaboo?), he couldn’t get enough of Chinese culture
he’d stay up all night watching Chinese fantasy TV shows, it was becoming a problem.
He even a few years later pulled the ultimate Chinese culture nerd move,
he founded a new Chinese dynasty, the Yuan Dynasty.
Or maybe his desire for invasion was just because he wanted riches.
They had this idea that Japan was this magical country packed full of treasures and polite, obedient people.
So yeah the Mongols watched anime too.
Or maybe his Mongol roots urged him to grab all land in sight.
The Mongols had been on a conquering binge for decades.
Everywhere they rode, people were just dropping dead and giving them land for some reason.
Japan may have seemed like a natural next step.
Kublai also had his eyes on other Southeast Asian countries.
In 1266, Kublai Khan decided to ask Japan nicely if they would pay him tribute.
He picked two people to go have a talk with the Japanese: his Minister of Ceremonies and his Minister of War.
The meaning behind his picks was pretty clear, if you’re not a dummy.
The Minister of Ceremonies handled affairs of vassal states,
and the Minister of War handled affairs of pewpew.
Choosing these two sent a message: become a vassal state, or become a vassal state.
Kublai forced the king of Koryo to take responsibility for getting his two officials to Japan to
deliver his message, which shows the kind of relationship they had.
The Korean king really didn’t want anything to do with this.
War with Japan wasn’t on his bucket list.
What was on his bucket list?
Fostering peace in the Korean Peninsula, and peeing on Kublai Khan’s bed.
The Korean king made a bunch of excuses.
“Oh there’s rough weather, we probably shouldn’t travel,
and what do you want with that insignificant country anyways?”
Kublai said, “Oi! I wasn’t asking.”
“Oh,” the Korean king said.
And so the Koreans took the two envoys on their ship to sail across the sea,
and then sail back when the envoys got scared the moment they ran into some rough weather.
To show you how serious Kublai was about this whole Japan business,
when he heard that they turned back, he immediately exploded like a teenager on prom night.
He accused the Korean king of colluding with the Japanese behind his back, and the only
way to atone for this crime was to get his message across the sea.
The Korean king convinced Kublai to write a letter, and promised to have his people deliver it.
So in 1268, the letter arrived in Kamakura, the seat of Japan’s military shogunate.
I kind of love this letter. It started out over the top.
“I, Emperor of Great Mongolia, have received the Mandate of Heaven and have become the master of the universe.”
So the typical Mongol greeting.
Then he took credit for restoring peace to Koryo, then claimed,
“In gratitude, both the ruler and the people of Koryo came to us to become our subjects;
their joy resembles that of children with their father.”
Nice nice, calling the Koreans his children.
He later mentioned that the Japanese were similar to the Koreans.
I’m gonna paraphrase this next part.
“Plenty of small states have longed to form ties with us, why haven’t you?
Ah, maybe you just didn’t know any better.
Here, let me ask you directly to engage in friendly relations with us.”
And it ends with a pretty clear threat: “Nobody would wish to resort to arms.”
Now “friendly relations” could have meant a pleasant relationship,
or it could have meant rule by the Mongols.
Probably the latter, especially with that last sentence.
The shogunate leaders didn’t know what to do, but they knew they weren’t that fond of the Mongols.
Japan traded with the Southern Song Dynasty.
The Song imported a large amount of pain relief cream to rub on their bums that were in pain
from all the ass kicking they were getting from the Mongols.
Being at war with the Mongols, the Song Chinese probably did not speak well of them to the Japanese.
The Kamakura shogunate didn’t know what to do, so they sent the letter to the Imperial Court in Kyoto.
Here, you deal with it.
The letter was addressed to the “King of Japan” anyways, that would be the Emperor in Kyoto.
At the time, Japan had two governments sharing the rule.
I have a video about how that worked if you want to see.
Sadly, Kublai Khan never saw that video, because he didn’t know about the two governments.
People in the Imperial Court were livid that the letter called Japan a small state,
and it called the Japanese emperor a mere king.
I know. The audacity.
A king ruled over one kingdom; an emperor ruled over many kingdoms and kings.
At the advice of the shogunate, the court did not send a reply.
They left Kublai on read.
In the meantime, the shogunate told its samurai in the west to put on their panties
and get ready for a possible invasion.
The Imperial Court also contributed to the defense efforts.
They began conducting prayers for protection.
No one likes being put on read, least of all Kublai Khan.
He called up the poor Korean king and put in an order for an invasion fleet.
He wanted a bunch of ships and men for the voyage.
The king wasn’t surprised.
Any invasion of Japan was going to require Koreans making ships and enlisting men.
Mongols were clueless about the sea.
Meanwhile, Kublai kept sending envoys again and again. It got ridiculous.
You kind of feel bad for the Koreans.
They kept being forced to bring envoys across the sea all because Kublai couldn’t take a hint.
“I just want to talk, I really don’t want to invade,” Kublai kept saying while preparing to invade.
Japan stayed quiet.
There was this one trip where the Mongols landed with an envoy along with 70 soldiers.
The Japanese mistook this for an invasion and chased them back to sea.
The Mongols quickly sailed back home, but on the way, they grabbed two Japanese fishermen
from a fishing boat and delivered them to Kublai Khan’s court.
Kublai wined and dined them for a couple months and then sent them back, saying,
“Hey uh tell your king to call me okay? It’s important.”
The Japanese responded by not responding and throwing the two innocent fishermen in jail.
Meanwhile in the Korean Peninsula, the Mongol order to build ships for the invasion fleet
was not popular among the anti-Mongol parts of the government.
Terrible approval ratings.
A rebellion broke out, and was trampled under Mongolian horses.
The rebels were hurt bad, and asked Japan for help, informing them of an imminent invasion.
The Japanese debated on whether they should help.
It was a long debate that finally concluded when the Mongols destroyed the remaining rebels.
Things didn’t look good for the Japanese.
The shogunate ordered all of its samurai who had land in Kyushu to return to Kyushu immediately
and prepare to defend against foreign invaders.
Apparently these samurai thought “immediately” meant “years later.”
Now I know that the samurai pay millions to marketing companies to sell you propaganda
about their honor and loyalty, but don’t fall for it.
It’s like thinking that Axe body spray attracts women, but all it attracts is other men who say,
“Oh I wear that too.”
A samurai didn’t go around following his lord off cliffs and committing suicide everyday.
Getting them to move was like pulling teeth.
People just did not want to go live in far-off Kyushu.
Even after the first Mongol invasion, many of these procrastinating samurai had not moved.
Even after the second invasion years later, there were still people who did not move.
The shogunate would send orders basically saying, “Wtf, we told you guys to move like 15 years ago.”
Anyways, Kublai took the hint and, in a healthy response to rejection, decided to beat Japan into submission.
By this time, Kublai Khan called his territory the Chinese Yuan Dynasty, fully giving in
to his Chinaboo nature, and Koryo became a vassal state of the Yuan.
He also snatched a major success in his war with the Song Dynasty.
It was time to turn his bow towards Japan.
Alright, if the next Mongol invasion video is out, it’ll be on the right.
If not, there are other videos you may wanna watch.
Check them out.
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Alright I love you, and spread the knowledge!