The traditional family concept is fuelled across the world as perfect, something everyone
should aspire to in their life.
And divorce, step-families, and half-siblings have been pushed aside as inherently problematic.
Yet, Antonio Banderas and Dakota Johnson defy stereotypes like no other.
The two actors have an incredibly strong bond.
So, how did he help the angry young rebel find her footing in life when her mom was
fighting her own demons?
Hop in; there’s going to be a lot of sobbing.
Be prepared!
When Banderas won the Hollywood Actor Award for his film Pain and Glory, Dakota was the
one to present him with the trophy.
Johnson was brought to tears and left everyone crying their eyes out as she talked about
her former stepfather.
Before we continue, let us throw it back to twenty years ago, when Banderas had arguably
one of his most fabulous appearances.
While he hasn't been a red carpet regular over the last few years, it's not his first
time celebrating in Hollywood's most prestigious night.
That year, the actor brought two very special dates: his then-wife Melanie Griffith and
then-10-year-old stepdaughter Dakota Johnson — yes, that's right.
Just look how cute they all look together.
Awww!
And now, though Griffith and Banderas split up after 20 years together in 2015, Johnson
still considers the actor family.
"I come from a family of many a marriage, and I got fortunate," Johnson told the audience.
"I got a bonus dad who I realized that, over time, is actually one of the most influential
people in my whole life."
When she was just six years old, her mom Melanie Griffith married a man who brought a whole
new world of creativity and culture and, quote, "one remarkably magical little sister into
our family."
She got emotional in the speech as she detailed Banderas' dedication to his craft.
Then, tearing up, Dakota said he taught her about true passion and discipline, saying
how he would spend hours, days even, in his office trying to get to the handle on something
he had become interested in or a role he was preparing.
Antonio also made sure she got her education before embracing the make-believe world.
Despite her early debut in his movie Crazy in Alabama, both Antonio and Melanie discouraged
her from acting until she graduated from high school, as both also first finished school.
Johnson listened and didn't begin auditioning in Los Angeles until then and stays eternally
grateful for that.
In an interview, the Genius actor revealed he had no idea Johnson would be giving such
a loving speech.
It was all a surprise for him.
"I knew that she was going to give the speech, but I had no idea whatsoever how she was going
to do it; she didn't tell me anything."
It was a poignant moment for Antonio, as it confirmed to him that the two decades they
spent as a family meant just as much to her as they did to him.
"I knew that all of those years that Melanie and I spent together, they were not only just
about Melanie and me, but they were also about the family.
They were worth it all," Banderas admitted.
The star went on to echo Johnson's sentiment from her speech, saying that he will always
consider his former stepdaughter to be his family.
It was quite an emotional moment for the actor, and, quote, "that's one of the reasons actually
why Melanie, we can look at each other's faces today."
Not only that, but they still see each other and go to dinners whenever possible.
All because they understood their relationship and their relationship with the people who
love them, especially their kids.
Banderas accepted the award, which he dedicated to Johnson and Stella Banderas, he and Griffith's
23-year-old daughter.
He noted that he wanted to thank Johnson specifically for still calling him "Papi" after all these
years.
"You have no idea how much I love that!" the actor said at the award show.
Banderas previously echoed Johnson's statement about family in an interview with Vulture.
"I am not married to Melanie any more, but she is my family," he said.
"She is probably one of my best friends, if not the best friend."
Antonio Banderas got to know Melanie Griffith, Dakota's mother, while shooting Too Much in
the mid-90s.
It's no secret that the Griffith-Johnsons were quite troubled — alcoholism, drug addiction,
marital infidelities, you name it.
Dakota went on record to state how her childhood had been less than perfect and that she didn't
have an anchor growing up due to her volatile parents.
Antonio had known about all the issues surrounding the family, but he couldn't help himself.
He'd fallen madly in love.
They'd both been committed to other people at the time — Antonio to actress Ana Leza
and Melanie to actor Don Johnson.
Years had gone by, and the pair realized that their attraction extended beyond infatuation.
They soon married and had a beautiful daughter, Stella.
Acclimating to step-fatherhood hadn’t been easy right away.
Dakota and her brother Alexander were young, and he hasn't had an experience of being a
father yet.
Fortunately, welcoming a daughter into their marriage helped him overcome his fears and
embrace fatherhood like nothing else.
Banderas said in an interview that once Dakota and Alexander figured out that he's going
to be a consistent fixture in their life, they let their guard down and started warming
up to him.
Of course, it helped that the kids were craving stability in their lives and were growing
increasingly tired of being shuffled back and forth between their parents.
Antonio's arrival proved to be a gift in disguise, as he offered a "solid ground in which they
could grow" and blossom.
Suddenly he had a 6-year-old girl, a 10-year-old boy, and a toddler on his hands.
"As soon as I realized that, I started establishing my relationship, giving them security, little
by little doing the father thing."
While it'd been relatively painless to get in his step-kids' good graces, Antonio did
struggle with navigating Melanie's recurring substance abuse issues.
As a result, she'd been in and out of rehab throughout their marriage.
Griffith has battled addiction in the public eye for a good portion of her Hollywood career.
She’s been in and out of rehab for quite some time.
Her husband, Antonio Banderas, stood by Melanie’s side.
Even though the couple said they fought while she struggled, Antonio admitted that he would’ve
left to get her to clean up if needed.
Melanie said that she did her best to focus on her children despite her substance abuse
issues through the years.
“I wasn’t like a drunk-on-the-floor, out-of-it person,” Griffith said.
“I didn’t do some things I probably should have done, but, mostly, I was there for my
kids.
They had a sort of privileged gipsy life.”
However, Dakota struggled and became an angry young rebel.
“I was ‘colourful’.
I didn’t abide by the rules very well.
I was like a wild, feral little child.”
In her teens, she was sent to a Catholic boarding school to give her discipline and stability,
but was a target of bullying from students.
“My parents had some problems of their own that put me in a position of having to deal
with very grown-up stuff at a very young age.
So I needed some help with that, therapy-wise.”
Thankfully, her step-dad was there to help her and her mom.
Even though these stints inflicted a great deal of agony on Antonio, he persevered and
put his mind to supporting Melanie through her recovery however he could.
“She has overcome her problems beautifully,” adding that the entire family participated
in her rehabilitation.
“We did all the therapies together — the kids, everybody.
It was a very unique experience, not only for Melanie.
It was very rewarding at the end,” he said.
While it's unfortunate Antonio and Dakota aren't technically related by marriage anymore,
the love they demonstrate for each other continues to be unparalleled and boundless.
Dakota says Antonio changed all of their lives forever.
Johnson elaborated how Banderas loved the family with so much passion and purpose that
it transformed their world inside out.
Dakota is glad to count him as a fierce and loyal companion to this date.
"He loved my mother and my siblings and me so fiercely, and so big and so loud that it
would change all of our lives forever."
Antonio, similarly, couldn't be more ecstatic over the connection he shares with his former
stepdaughter.
He's been an ardent follower of her career and says he's "proud of her" every time he
comes across a billboard or promotional material featuring her.
"I met her when she was five years old," he said.
"I followed every single step of it.
I'm so proud of her.
I saw her the other day in Toronto, and she looks — as I said in the social networks
when I put a picture of her and myself, I put there, 'My radiant Dakota.'"
What's most remarkable about their relationship is that because Antonio is no longer married
to Melanie, it wouldn't be the end of the world if Dakota decided to completely sever
ties with her stepdad.
Sometimes the divorce process is so complex that it can invalidate the marriage itself.
But that has nothing to do with the Banderas-Griffith family.
Antonio Banderas is keen on maintaining amicable relations with his ex-wife and her family.
The couple announced their decision to divorce in a public statement in June 2014, adding
that they're hoping to undergo this process in a "loving and friendly manner."
They indeed stayed true to their word since Antonio said he still considers Melanie his
"best friend," saying that he'll love her till the day he dies.
Likewise, Dakota and Alexander are still "family" to him, and he couldn't be more grateful to
have played a paternal role in their lives through their most impressionable years.
His unyielding appreciation and gratitude for his step-family exemplify what it's like
to find hope in the face of hardship.
That's not to say Dakota and her brother's childhood had been miserable up to that point
and that Antonio served as a guardian angel of sorts to cure them of their suffering.
Of course, both of them love and adore their biological fathers.
However, it's still safe to say that Antonio's presence encouraged them to pursue their dreams
and flourish in a way they hadn't before.
"I was there because I loved their mother, and they were the most important part of what
she came with.
Very soon, they understood that.
They called me Paponio, a mixture between papa and Antonio."
The idea of 'blended' or chosen families isn't a concept exclusive to the entertainment industry.
Instead of turning away from such experiences — as awkward as they might be — it is
beneficial for us to open our hearts and begin getting to know the individual in question.
Sometimes we'll get along, occasionally we won't, but the key is to understand that there's
always more space to let people in, to add more love.
If Antonio hadn't done the heavy lifting as a young father-of-three, he wouldn't have
been able to reap the rewards in his late fifties.
Tell us about your relationship with your family in the comments below.
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