-I'm Grace.
I'm 22 in Liverpool years,
but if I were in the States, I'd be 41.
-I'm Bella-Rosa, from Essex.
My dad is a boxer, and my mum is a pub.
Just got my lips done.
I asked the doctor for an allergic reaction.
[ Ding! ]
-Hello! I'm Charlie.
I'm from Murder-Suicide, England.
And I've got two more years till my face
catches up with my liver.
♪♪
-If you're a die-hard football fan,
you need nonstop NFL action.
That's why you turn to the Red Zone, the only channel
that shows every touchdown from every game.
But what if you want the same intensity,
and you don't like sports?
Introducing the Rosé Zone,
only the trashiest moments from every reality show
on one channel.
The Rosé Zone has all the scoring plays
you want to see most.
The touchdowns...
the tackles...
the celebrations...
and the fumbles.
-Let's face it. In an hour of reality television,
there's really only three minutes worth watching.
-Bitches be crazy, but not all the time.
Sometimes bitches just be standing around and thinking.
♪♪
And Mama ain't about that.
-I mean, sometimes they'll, like, throw charity events
or spend time with their kids.
And I'm like, "[Bleep] that [bleep]"
-None of the tedious recaps,
none of the "let's make up and be friends again" lunches.
Just hot garbage 24-7.
-I don't care about their back stories.
I want to see women destroy other women.
-I want to see women defending their children.
Or women screaming at children.
-You didn't show up for a whole month to take class.
I have had it with you.
-And not eating salads.
-If you scratch yourself,
that's how you get stretch marks.
-Thanks to Rosé Zone, I can see a transsexual
throw a drag queen into a swimming pool
and still catch Kim Richards throwing a party
for her new nose.
-I love it.
-The Rosé Zone.
-'Cause life's short,
and I shouldn't have to watch Rob Kardashian
talk about his sock line.
-I love dress socks. I'm super into them.
-The Rosé Zone. It's bloodlust for women.
-It's "Love Island," the U.K. reality sensation
that America is obsessing over.
It turns out they also have 100% pure-grade trash
just like us.
Let's meet the Islanders.
-I'm Grace. I'm 22 in Liverpool years,
but if I were in the States, I'd be 41.
-I'm Bella-Rosa, from Essex.
My dad is a boxer, and my mum is a pub.
Just got my lips done.
I asked the doctor for an allergic reaction.
[ Ding! ]
-Hello. I'm Charlie.
I'm from Murder-Suicide, England.
And I've got two more years till my face
catches up with my liver.
-I'm from the part of Ireland where the soil is bones.
-Call me Finley.
I'm from Scotland, but I'm also Italian.
So my father is basically the scariest guy
you've ever seen in your life.
-I'm a personal trainer and I'm just looking for a lady,
like, a cheap one, for the rest of me life.
-They call me Mackenzie,
and I'm looking for the perfect guy, because there's absolutely
nothing wrong with me.
[ Laughs ] What?
-Watch the hottest people from the worst towns
immediately couple up with someone based on nothing.
-I would like to couple up with a guy who's exactly my type
on paper.
He's got tattoos.
He's got really great banter.
He's proper fit.
But, at the same time,
I'd go with anyone, so you.
-Hi. -Oh.
Well, you got great chat.
-You've heard an English accent.
You've heard an Irish accent.
Now hear all the little weirdies in between.
-What?
-That's right, they don't even understand each other.
Tune in as they face challenges like getting up from a beanbag.
[ Laughter ]
-Here I come.
-You will watch 50 hours of this.
You think you won't, but you will.
[ Moaning, bed creaking ]
-It was awesome to watch.
-You'll invest in vulnerable moments,
like when the girls take their makeup off.
-You know, I put so much bronzer on,
I think I might be doing brown-face.
Is this a hate crime?
-That's not bad, is it?
I look really different without me makeup on
'cause of the contour.
-She's a really nice girl,
but I think her face might be a thumb.
-What? -But, at any point,
someone may be forced to leave the villa and turn in
their giant microphone.
-This bird and I got great crack.
She's got a great person-atily.
But, mostly, out of all the girls here,
she wore the smallest bikini.
So the person I'd like to couple up with...
is Grace. [ Gasping ]
-No, I knew it, I knew it. I knew it. It's okay.
-You're my best friend in the world.
No. -It's okay.
-Forget about it.
-Whole thing's a bit muggy.
I'm absolutely gutted.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Are you joking?
1.2 million Instagram followers?
Well, I don't have to be a stupid pediatric nurse anymore,
do I? Ka-ching!
♪♪
-"Love Island," now available on Hulu.
We got this and "Handmaid's Tale."
-You're watching Bravo.
When does your boyfriend get back in town?
At 11:00, it's "Andy Cohen's Endoscopy Cam."
And coming up next --
Do you love our programming but don't give a "D"
about the storylines?
Keep watching for Bravo's newest reality show,
"The Real Intros of Reality Hills."
-Two's a crowd. Three's a party.
And six or more?
Honey, you need a reservation.
-My husband's a doctor, and my face, all science.
-I'm too old,
and my hair is too long.
-The South will rise again.
But when I stand up too fast,
I pass out.
-I might have a baby voice,
but my husband's 100 years old.
-You know what they say --
You're only as old as your current wife.
-I'm a real estate mogul who can't read.
Line up, ladies.
-I'm half-Jewish but I'm all woman.
Oy gevalt! You heard!
-I'm as gay as my twin.
-And I'm as gay as my wife.
-We own a skincare line that's huge in Iraq.
-Jealous?
-We boiled these women down to two lines.
You're welcome.
-Don't examine my charity too hard.
It's racist.
-My secret?
I used to be Asian.
-I respect the Sabbath.
Unless the Sabbath disrespects me.
Oy, vey, you're filming.
-His booty is real.
-But my personality is fake.
-Our niece played Topanga on "Boy Meets World."
-Jealous?
-Let's face it, we barely have storylines anyway,
so we cut to the chase.
-I give my sons open-mouth kisses
and I go to third with my dog.
Relax, it's him to me.
-I've dated my sister's friends
and I slept with my mother's friends.
Next year, I'm gonna gain 150 pounds.
That's
-Jesus was just a man, okurr?
-We're so close, we finish each other --
-Off. -There's a prison
named after our family.
-Jealous?
-You heard the tag lines.
Now all that's left is three seconds of drama.
-You know what you did, bitch.
[ Gasping ]
[ Pounding ]
-Is this wine kosher?
-This has been
"The Real Intros Of Reality Hills."
-You love the drama
on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."
-That's the point. -That's the point, Yolanda!
-Shh! -And you're crazy
for our newest spinoff, "Vanderpump Rules."
-Jax, I'm really pissed off right now.
-But what about Jax's dentist?
Did you know he's Moroccan?
Well, we gave him his spinoff --
"The Moroccans of Mulholland Drive."
-You missed my belly-dancing party.
-[ Gasps ]
-And did you see that guy walk by?
Good, 'cause he's married to Rod Stewart's god-niece.
Wednesdays at 9:00, it's
"Are You There, Rod? It's Me, Danessa."
-Damn it, Danessa, come on! The limo's waiting!
-Relax! I'm on the phone. [ Phone rings ]
Rod, it's me, Danessa.
-And buckle up,
'cause the driver of that limo they mentioned
has his own spinoff. [ Horn honks ]
Thursdays at 8:00, it's
"Somewhere Chauffeur the Rainbow."
Meet Dominic. Between driving around celebrities
and cruising for Tinseltown's hottest twinks,
can this gay bear juggle it all?
I drive men...crazy.
And also to the airport. [ Car alarm chirps ]
One time, Dominic drove Francis Ford Coppola.
So we gave his granddaughters' best friends a show.
Thursdays at 9:30,
They run a smoothie shop in...
"A Coppola Coconuts."
-Our friends' grandpa may have directed "Apocalypse Now"...
-But we're sluts.
-Then Fridays at 6:00, those girls live next
the hottest plants in Hollywood. [ Doorbell rings ]
It's the "Real Houseplants of Beverly Hills."
But we're not done yet, 'cause one of those plants
used to date "The Count of Cabo."
Sundays from 7:00 to 7:05, meet Radu.
He's a modern-day Mexican vampire
with a taste for drama.
-Um, no, I can't come to your dog's birthday, Tamara.
It's during the day. Hello!
-Then Sundays, for one minute, who are Radu's best friends?
We don't know... but we found these guys
and put them on TV.
It's "The S--theads of Salzburg."
-Ja, we're from Austria.
-And we love to sex.
-And our penises are so small.
Hi!
[ Laughter ]
-They spend every night at Beverly Hills hotspot Sur,
which is featured in our new spinoff,
"Vanderpump Rules--" Wait, didn't we do that one already?
Everyone in the world.
Only on Bravo.
-Their wedding stole your heart.
Now, get ready for the latest Kardashian event.
-Whoopsies, I got divorced.
-"Kim's Fairytale Divorce."
-Can you believe I'm old enough
to have a daughter who's getting divorced?
No, you can't, because my surgeries worked.
I know a lot of people think that Kim got married
just to earn over $17 million from the wedding,
but that's not true.
She also got married for attention.
What do I have to do for attention...
kill somebody?
-Tune in for a storybook ceremony
as Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries
sign their divorce papers.
-Mm, you got it.
So it's been really hard.
All week we've just been crying and crying
and posing and crying
and getting our anuses bleached.
-If you get two, the third anus is free.
-I get the free one.
-I know, right?
Four sisters.
-Stepdad Bruce Jenner will walk her down the aisle.
-When I heard my Kim was getting married,
I was so happy, my face was like...
But when I heard she was getting divorced,
it broke my heart.
My face was like...
-Be there for the magical moment when Kim and Kris
reach a fair financial settlement.
-I've handled, like, over 200 divorces, right?
But this is the best one I have ever seen.
Alright, they gave me this great suit.
I got to ride in on a white horse, okay?
Unreal. They got scallops wrapped in bacon.
The bacon -- look at this. Wrapped in $100 bills.
-Join the Kardashians as they cope
with the pain of divorce all night long.
-I mean, this family is weird.
I mean, when they go out to dinner, it's all of them --
the mom, the kids,
and their grandmom Bruce Jenner, you know?
It's wack as [bleep].
-We may even hear from Kris Humphries.
-Uh...
-Boring.
-Marriages are heard, and it turns out
Kris was only half the man I wanted him to be.
And by that, I mean he was only half black.
But things are looking up for me.
I'm single, and there's an NBA lockout.
Wink.
-Don't miss "The Kardashian Fairytale Divorce,"
followed by all-new episodes of...
"Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami."
"Bruce Jenner and Kourtney's Baby Take Reno."
"Brody Jenner, Khloé, and Kris Take Vitamins."
And the one-hour television special,
"Lamar's Penis Revealed."
-Only on E!
-The world is a complete bummer right now,
and here at E!, we know that sometimes
you just have to be like, "Buuuuh."
So turn your brain off with our new lineup of fall programming.
First, we're celebrating 10 years of the Kardashian
dynasty with our new series,
"Kendall's Model House."
Tune in as Kendall Jenner and supermodel sisters
Bella and Gigi Hadid complain
around a huge bowl of fruit.
-I'm under a lot of pressure.
-So much pressure.
-You're prettier than me.
-No way.
You're so much prettier than me.
-Wait. Which one am I?
[ Laughter ]
Alexa?
-You are Kendall Jenner.
-What?! Not everything can be the news.
So if you want to feel absolutely nothing,
watch "Down Home with Blake and Gwen"
Tuesdays at 9:30.
They're just like us!
-♪ I love you, girl ♪
-♪ I love you, too ♪
-You go high.
-♪ I love you ♪
-You know what? We're going to work on it.
-You'd watch that for 20 minutes, and that's okay!
You know the moments on the "Kardashians" where Kanye
clearly doesn't want to be on camera?
Now there's a show that's just that.
It's "Where's Kanye?"
He's hanging back because he's shy,
or he doesn't want to be associated with the show.
"Where's Kanye?"
Then Wednesdays at 10:15,
get lost in "Kendall's World"...
-Hello? -...as Kendall Jenner
literally gets lost in her own house.
-Hello?!
-The house is so big and empty, and she's only there
two weeks out of the year.
-Is this the bathroom?
Damn. Closet again.
-But, hey, that's "Kendall's World."
And Thursdays at 10:00,
"Background Actors of Riverdale."
Then, they're bosses, hoes, and twins
on "Powerful Sluts of Miami."
And you love her on "Fashion Police."
Now reality star NeNe Leakes has her own show.
-I was on Bravo. Now I'm on E!
I'm everywhere, bitch. I hate that.
-NeNe Leakes is "I Hate That."
Round out the week with special episodes of "Kendall's World."
That's right -- she's still lost, but she found a comfy
closet to hunker down in.
-Oh, yay! -Yay!
-Where's Gigi?
-She didn't make it.
Did you go to the bathroom in here?
-"Kendall's World," Fridays at 9:00,
9:30, 10:00, 10:30, and so on forever.
Only on E!
You...want...this!
♪♪