Heya playa, do you ever find yourself becoming incredibly shy whenever you're around your
crush or wanna talk to them? What's that about? Well don't worry, in this video, I'm gonna
walk you through how to get over that shyness so whenever you're near your crush and want
to talk to them, you'll be able to do it. This is The Josh Speaks. You're watching The
Josh Speaks. For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self so if
you want to learn and grow, hit the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification
bell. I think one of the main reasons why shyness might hold you back from talking to
your crush is because you might not know what to say. So, that's the first thing I want
you to start working on. Prepare what you're going to say to them ahead of time. Have a
topic or idea of something you want to discuss before you walk into that conversation. A
lot of times people tell themselves well because I don't really know what to talk about there's
no reason to go up to them. But, finding the topic is actually a lot easier than you think.
Just think about where you are in relation to that person. Are you both in the same class?
Do you work at the same job? Do you go to the same church? Whatever your environment
is that's going to provide the conversation for you. Think about it like this, let's say
you're in the same class as that person and you want to talk to them but you don't really
know what to talk about. Well, talk about what's going on in the class. Talk about the
teacher, the homework, the assignments or the group projects, whatever it is that you
guys have that shared experience over because that's something that they're gonna end up
relating to. They're gonna realize that if this person is talking to me about school
to start the conversation then that's something I can connect with and that's something I
can connect with and that's to help create the initial bond between the two of you. Now
one thing I try to emphasize a lot is having an actual conversation topic to segway into
after that initial ice breaker. Sure you'll be able to talk to your crush about what's
going on in school or what's going on outside of school but you wanna kind of shift the
conversation to something a little bit more personal. That's what I break down in my 20
ice breaker conversation starters but just to give you an example, here's something you
could say. Let's say you're in college and you see your crush on campus a lot but you're
too nervous to go talk to them. Well, I would first approach them and talk about something
that's school-related. What's going on on campus, what are the classes they take. Something
that they can relate to and then segway into a more fun conversation topic. You might want
to say something like "hey, me and my friends are having a debate about what the best tv
series is to binge-watch on Netflix. What do you think it is?" and that might spark
a personal answer from your crush getting that personal conversation going. But let's
be real here. Chances are your crush is not walking around by themselves all the time,
they're going to be surrounded by friends and that might be actually adding to your
shyness. The idea of approaching this big group of people and having all of them look
at you and judge you is a scary thing to go through. However, they may actually end up
working in your favor because here's what I think you should do. Take the time to get
to know your crush's friends. They can be your biggest allies in the pursuit of your
crush in getting over your shyness. Let's say you take a little bit of time to get to
know your crush's friends better on an individual and personal level. Maybe some of them are
in your class, maybe you see some in the hall, maybe they're mutual friends of other people
that you know. Take time to get to know them, show them who you are deep down inside so
that that message can translate and go back to your crush. The more they know about you
and grow to like you, the easier it's going to be for your crush to turn around, hear
what they have to say and then form a way better opinion of you. Because far too often
if you're planning on walking into a group and only talking to your crush and expect
no one else around you to watch and listen and pay attention to you, you're kind of setting
yourself up for failure. People are going to be stopping and asking themselves, why
is this person talking to that person? Why aren't they talking to any of us? This is
weird, this awkward and you just made it harder for yourself to get in with that group. And
look, another factor that may be contributing to your shyness around your crush is the fact
that you're so focused on having these long, in-depth, meaningful and personal conversations
with them. I think it's way better for you to aim for short, simple and practical conversations
whenever you can. You just may be overthinking it here. Every single conversation doesn't
have to end with your crush falling deeply in love with you. They may just walk away
feeling "Wow, that person is easy to talk to" or "Wow, that person made me laugh" or
"Wow, they're just a fun person". Taking the time to learn a little bit more about your
crush every time you talk to them is going to allow you to build a bigger profile of
who they are. Plus it's going to allow them to open up more to you to the point where
you can finally say "You know, you seem like a really fun and interesting person to talk
to. Let's hang out some time one on one and get to know each other better". And realistically,
your crush is going to be way more open to hanging out with you once you've proven to
them that you're ok with approaching them, having small conversations and not forcing
things to drag on longer than they need to to make it awkward. At that point they're
eventually going to feel like yea, this is a person that I can learn more about because
I've shared little things with them along the way. Pro-tip here, if you feel like the
conversation is getting dry or awkward in any kind of moment you can always say "Listen,
I gotta head out but it was a lot of fun talking to you. Like, I really enjoy connecting with
you so let's do this again sometime in the future". By establishing that ending with
your crush, you're letting them know that you still want to talk to them but you're
not gonna put either of you in an awkward situation. But something I've heard from a
lot of you that really causes that shyness whenever you're around your crush is the fact
that you compare your social status to theirs. You may think you're a loser or not cool or
just not someone worth talking to compared to them who is popular and fun and attractive
and all the things you feel like you're not. So here's my hot take on that. Yes, looks
do matter. If a person is more attractive, that's going to factor in, if you're talented
or play a sport or are muscular or tall or any of these things, that these are going
to factor in whether or not your crush may potentially like you. But that's not all they're
looking for. People tend to overrate those qualities and underrate the qualities that
actually matter in forming a deeper connection with your crush so, let me walk you through
what some of those actually are. Being able to make them laugh and feel comfortable enough
to share things with you. Showing them that you have hobbies and interests and you're
goal-focused, and you have things you're aspiring to in life. And also, accepting them the way
that they are. Look, you have to remember that your crush also has insecurities and
doubts and fears about themselves just like you do. They really are no different from
you at the end of the day. Because here's the truth, even though we put such a huge
emphasis on popularity and looks the fact is this if your crush doesn't feel like they
can form a deep and personal connection with you where they can open up and be themselves
then eventually those surface-level things are not gonna matter. They're gonna start
to feel like yeah, you're attractive but you're not someone I can connect with. You're not
someone I can laugh with and those are the real qualities that are gonna allow you to
form a deeper connection with your crush. Don't be distracted by the fact that they're
super popular and have lots of friends. At the end of the day, if you can show them that
you're confident in who you are, that you bring your authentic self to the table and
that's what you bring forward whenever you talk to them, they're not gonna kinda focus
on the other things, they're gonna realize that wow, this is a person that really believes
in themself. And that's an attractive quality in and of itself. Because at the end of the
day, the best way to get over your shyness is to start believing in yourself. To know
that you already have what it takes to be somebody great. That shyness is really the
fear of uncertainty. You don't know how your crush is going to react or respond to you
but, if you start to take the small steps that I mentioned in this video to start to
just get your foot in the door to get to know your crush a little bit better, to get them
to see that piece and that element of you that isn't scared, that is confident and does
believe in themselves that's going to drastically increase your chances of actually getting
with them. I'm curious though, what do you think? What's the main driving factor behind
your shyness around your crush? Are you afraid of getting rejected by them? Are you afraid
of getting laughed at? Are you afraid of freezing up and not knowing what to say? Leave your
comments down below and let me know. Now shyness is something I've definitely covered a ton
of times in my previous videos so I've put together a playlist to help you work through
it. Check out the link to it right over their on the side and right underneath it I'm going
to link my 20 Ice Breaker Conversation Starters. These are different conversation topics you
can bring up whenever you're talking to your crush or whenever you run out of things to
say. I think it's a helpful free guide that's definitely with checking out. On that note
guys, I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.