Today we look at how using Mel Robbins 5 second rule can be used to overcome fear.
Use this technique to tackle fears you have in a 5 second window to help you deal with
various circumstances.
[Intro]
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Last time we explored how the 5 second rule works and can be used to beat procrastination.
Mel Robbins has helped millions with what is an extremely simple principle and today's
video looks at how you can deal with moments of fear using the 5 second rule to help you
stay calm and help you cope with your fear.
Now before we break down how the rule works in circumstances where you might be afraid,
let me first share a story about Mel Robbins and how she helped someone using the technique.
The situation occurred on a flight to Boston, which was quite coincidental as Mel Robbins
has previously spoken about her fear of flying and how she uses the 5 second rule to help
her deal with her fear.
When sat on this flight, a woman named Trixie sat next to Mel was clearly distressed during
a period of turbulance and reached across to hold Mel's hand for comfort.
At this moment, Mel asked Trixie if she would like to try a technique that might help her
relax, to which Trixie replied a definite "Yes please!!".
So at this moment Mel asked Trixie think of what she was most excited about when thinking
of her trip to Boston.
It turned out Trixie was visiting her uncle and aunt to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
In response Mel told Trixie to close her eyes and think about how exciting the party will
be.
Then, they counted down, 5-4-3-2-1 and just like that, Trixie relaxed and much of her
anxiety and stress was gone.
Now the story is quite a phenomenal experience, but let's breakdown exactly what happened
that Trixie went from being extremely nervous to the point of seeking comfort from a complete
stranger to being excited to celebrate a party.
Now the simple answer was she shifted focus from the fear to excitement, which is true,
but understanding why shifting focus is important, because that will allow you to reapply this
technique in many circumstances.
[Mel Robbins speaks]
So, what exactly happened when Trixie went through the process?
1) Identified the purpose of experiencing the fear.
Usually when you embark on doing something which you fear, you usually do it because
there's a reason that's more important than the fear for you.
For example in the case of Trixie, despite being afraid of flying she chose to fly to
Boston for family, which she obviously considered worth doing regardless of her issues of flying.
By identifying the reason you want to do something despite feeling afraid, you give yourself
purpose on embarking and taking action in the first place.
Now if you're already taking action, by reminding yourself the reason you're taking action to
begin with you build up courage to persevere and get through the difficulties.
2) Visualised the result she was experiencing the fear for.
As previously mentioned, you want to first take the step of reminding yourself why you're
taking the action you are.
From here, go through a visualisation process to imagine what it is you will be experiencing
at the end of the journey.
It's not just about imagining the situation, but visualising is putting yourself into the
future and experiencing the situation and emotions.
For Trixie, this was to visualise the party she was attending in Boston, visualising all
of her family being there and experiencing the joy she would feel while celebrating.
This acts to give purpose to our actions, but also distract us from the difficulty we're
facing at hand.
3) Created an anchor for comfort.
By reminding herself of the purpose of the trip and then visualising her experience in
Boston, Trixie created an anchor to help her manage and cope with her fear.
The anchor serves to be a safe point of reference for her anytime she feels the sensations of
fear starting to overcome her and make her feel distressed.
So, if turbulance was to happen again, she can use her anchor to again calm herself down
and again visualise the end experience.
Bear in mind, the technique here isn't about overcoming a fear permenantly, as that requires
a different treatment, it's about coping with the fear in situations where it can cause
distress.
[Mel Robbins]
4) The 5 second rule acted as metacognition to change behavioural patterns.
Now in Trixie's case what happened was by visualising and then applying the 5 second
rule, she applied a form of metacognition, or having the understanding and awareness
of your own thought processes.
The brain was focused on her fear and in that moment her distress was overwhelming her.
By using the 5 second rule, she overrode the natural process the brain takes in that situation
where it creates a sense of panic to try and escape the perceived danger, and instead focused
on a future outcome and sensation she's instead excited to feel.
In this instance, the 5 second rule is distracting the brain from all the signals of alarm, which
is where the metacognition factors in, you understand the mind's natural process and
do something to change the outcome.
5) The 5 second rule acted control the prefrontal cortex.
Finally, the process of using the 5 second rule is to control the prefrontal cortex.
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that’s involved things like decision making,
planning and working towards goals.
By taking control of your prefrontal cortex using the 5 second rule, you create a feeling
of control in your life.
By counting down 5-4-3-2-1, you are taking a deliberate action.
The countdown pushes you out of the autopilot the brain is geared in, which in Trixie's
case was a sense of danger and fear.
Instead, when you act you’re exercising control and you’re turning on your prefrontal
cortex.
By using the 5 second rule, you cultivate what researchers call an “internal locus
of control,” which means that you believe you have control over your outcomes and future
success.
Now when you feel a greater sense of control, you also feel a greater sense of confidence,
which is vital when dealing with fear.
Research shows us that those with an internal locus of control are happier, in better health,
more likely to achieve at work, and have lower levels of anxiety and depression.
And the more often you keep in that state, the easier it becomes to keep feeling a sense
of control over your life.
[Mel Robbins]
In Trixie's case, she used the 5 second rule to overcome fear by distracting the mind from
her fear and focused on the outcome she was travelling towards.
By using the 5 second rule, she triggers a number of reactions in her mind to help change
her state from one of fear and distress to another of calm and excited.
When coping with fear, that's an incredibly powerful tool to have at your disposal.
So you see, by applying the principles of the 5 second rule to manage her fear during
her flight, Trixie actually changed her response from being afraid of the current circumstance
to being excited for what was yet to come.
You can use this exact principle in your own life too, not just in those moments you're
afraid of a situation, but also those where you might be afraid of taking action towards
achieving your goal.
The visualising the results of hitting the goal can act as your anchor, and the 5 second
rule can be the driving force towards achieving it.
[Mel Robbins Speaks]
Will you try the 5 second rule to overcome a fear and if so, what fear are you dealing
with?
Let me know in the comments section below.
If you enjoyed today's video please leave a like to let me know you enjoyed it, share
it with friends or family to educate others and consider subscribing for more content
like this.
Make sure to hit the bell icon to be notified of uploads as otherwise YouTube won't necessarily
inform you of the latest videos.