WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.
HAPPY FRIDAY, JON.
>> Jon: HAPPY FRIDAY.
IT'S A GOOD FRIDAY.
>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY FIRST
GUEST TONIGHT FROM "HOTEL RWANDA," "HOUSE OF LIES," AND
THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.
HE NOW STARS IN THE NEW SERIES "BLACK MONDAY."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," MR. DON CHEADLE!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK!
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GLAD TO BE HERE, VERY GLAD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME WE WERE TOGETHER, AS I WAS SAYING IN THE
BREAK, NOVEMBER 7.
>> UCH.
>> Stephen: 2017.
>> YEAH, MAN.
>> Stephen: IT WAS THE BEFORE TIMES IS WHAT WE'LL CALL IT.
>> THE TIME YOU COW WALK AROUND AND BE DONALD AND PEOPLE WERE
COOL WITH IT.
>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> I'VE BEEN GREAT.
REALLY GOOD.
A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENING.
I HOSTED "SNL."
>> Stephen: INTERESTING YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT, BECAUSE YOU
GOT THE ATTENTION-- THAT SHOW GOT THE ATTENTION THAT NIGHT
THAT YOU HOSTED, OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHO DESCRIBED THAT SHOW AND MANY OTHERS, AS HE
SAID, AS THE TRUE COLLUSION.
>> YEAH WHICH -- >> Stephen: HE'S KIND OF GOT
YOU THERE, DOESN'T HE?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY A CAST MEMBER.
YOU CAME ON WITH A HOST AND YOU COLLUDED WITH THEM TO MAKE
COMEDY.
>> I DID-- I DID-- I DID COLLUDE THROUGH THE GIFT OF COMEDY.
>> Stephen: SURE, AND THAT'S REALLY WHEN YOU KNOW THIS
COUNTRY IS IN A GREAT PLACE WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS ATTACKING A
COMEDY SHOW.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YES.
YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
>> Stephen: SURE.
THERE SHOULD BE RETRIBUTION.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
YEAH, I HOPE THEY GET THEIR COME UPANCE.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE ALSO A MAN KNOWN FOR MAKING STATEMENTS WITH
YOUR ART, WITH YOUR WORK, AND ALSO WITH YOUR FASHION.
AND YOU WORE THIS FOR THE INTRODUCTION OF THE BAND RIGHT
THERE.
>> I DID.
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )
I DID.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY.
THAT'S LOVELY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: WHAT-- WHAT-- WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO TAKE THAT MOMENT
TO TALK ABOUT THAT?
>> WELL, WELL, BECAUSE IT'S A PERFECT PLATFORM YOU KNOW.
AND AS YOU DO EVERY NIGHT-- AND I COMMEND YOU-- YOU HAVE THIS
PLATFORM AND YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAY SOMETHING,
AND A MOMENT IN TIME TO ATTEMPT TO BE MEANINGFUL, AND REALLY PUT
YOURSELF OUT THERE.
AND MY DAUGHTER ACTUALLY GAVE ME THAT SHIRT.
AND I SAID, "I'M GOING TO WEAR IT.
I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO PRESENT IT."
AND I THINK THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: I AGREE
AND IS THERE-- IS IT-- IS IT HARD TO FIND THE RIGHT TIME IN
THE SHOW?
BECAUSE THAT'S A VERY, VERY FAST-PACED-- AGAIN, IT'S LIVE.
THERE'S NO STOPPING THE TRAIN.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE HAVING TO CHANGE CLOTHES ALL THE TIME
ON THAT SHOW, AREN'T YOU?
>> WELL, THEY ACTUALLY CHANGE YOU, YOU KNOW.
YOU KIND OF RUN BEHIND THE CURTAIN AND YOU STAND THERE LIKE
A DOLL AND THEY STRIP CLOTHES OFF AND PULL CLOTHES ON.
THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE MOST BANANAS PART OF THE WHOLE NIGHT.
AND AT ONE POINT THE WOMAN DRESSING ME, JUST JERKED MY
PANTS DOWN.
I WAS LIKE, "WHOA, MY UNDERWEAR ALMOST CAME DOWN."
SHE SAID, "I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING."
"NOT MY EVERYTHING.
TAKE IT EASY."
>> Stephen: I LIKE TO THINK THAT I'M SPECIAL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
I WOULD LIKE TO THERETO BE KNOWN WHEN I PRESENT THAT TO THE WORLD
PUP DON'T--
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE-- YOU KNOW, AS I WAS SAYING IN THE
INTRODUCTION, YOU'VE BEEN IN SOME BEAUTIFUL MOVIES.
YOU'RE ALSO IN BEAUTIFUL MOVIES THAT ARE ALSO PART BIGGEST
CINEMATIC EVENT OF MY LIFETIME, THE MCU.
IT'S AN EXTRAORDINARY 10-YEAR STORYTELLING.
>> YEAH, IT'S CRAZY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S DON CHEADLE LEVEL OF FAME THESE DAYS?
>> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
I'M ALWAYS WONDERING WHAT PEOPLE THINK.
BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW.
YOU KNOW, I CAN WALK AROUND SOMETIMES AND NOT BE RECOGNIZED
AT ALL.
OTHER TIMES THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!
YOU'RE THAT DUDE WHO'S IN--" I'M LIKE, "YOU STILL KIND OF DON'T
KNOW, RIGHT?" >> Stephen: SOMETIMES--
SOMETIMES PEEL GO LIKE, "HEY, MAN, YES, WHAT'S YOUR NAME!"
AND I'LL SAY, "THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS."
>> RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TO COME UP WITH IT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
>> I HAD-- I WENT TO A CONCERT ONCE, A SNOOP DOGG CONCERT,
ACTUALLY, AND WE WERE TRYING TO GET TO HIS TRAILER, AND I WAS
WITH A FRIEND OF MINE, HIS TRAILER WAS BACK STAGE.
AND I KIND OF SAW THESE GUYS OUT OF MY PERIPHERY.
AND I SAID LET'S GO.
AND THEY WERE LOCKED ON LIKE A TRACTOR BEAM.
AND I GOT TO THE DOOR, AND THE DUDE GRABBED ME AND GOES, "SEAN
EPPS."
>> Stephen: WHO IS SEAN EPPS?" >> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
BUT I SIDE, "YEAH, YOU GOT ME, MAN."
( LAUGHTER )
HE WAS LIKE, "TOLD YOU!"
>> Stephen: WAS IT-- OMAR EPPS?
SEAN COMBS?
>> MAYBE SEAN-- I DON'T KNOW, SEAN COMBS -- YEAH, THAT'S
PROBABLY WHAT IT WAS.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I STARTED USING IT AT MY ALIAS AT HOTELS.
I WOULD GO IN AS SEAN EPPS.
>> Stephen: NOW YOU CAN'T.
>> NOW I'VE BLOWN IT, EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE NOMINATED FOR YOUR PERFORMANCE IN "HOTEL
RWANDA."
( APPLAUSE ).
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: FOR THE OSCARS, FOR THE OSCARS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND OS OSCARS-- ARE THEY THIS WEEKEND?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT NOMINATED.
I DON'T CARE.
SO THEY'RE THIS WEEKEND.
WHAT-- ARE YOU HOSTING?
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW.
DO THEY HAVE A HOST?
>> I DON'T THINK THERE'S A HOST HAPPENING.
I THINK IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF PRESENTER S.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I MEAN, SURE YNOT?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> I THINK THEY SHOULD JUST HAND THEM OUT AS, LIKE, A
DRIVE-THROUGH.
"HERE YOU GO."
>> Stephen: OR HAVE ONE OF THOSE AMAZON DRONES JUST DELIVER
IT.
THEY'LL JUST DROP IT ON THE PERSON PUP DON'T FIND OUT YOU
WON UNTIL IT FALLS IN YOUR LAP.
>> EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT LIKE?
IS IT FUN?
WHAT'S THE RED CARPET LIKE?
>> IT'S-- IT'S NOT.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S FUN AT HOME, BUT WHEN
YOU'RE IN THE AUDIENCE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE SHOW.
THE CAMERA IS POINTING AT YOU A LOT OF THE TIME SO YOU CAN'T
JUST BAG ON PEOPLE LIKE YOU'D WANT TO.
>> Stephen: MEANING BAG ON PEOPLE LIKE, "I LOST."
OR "I'M LEAVING AS SOON AS MY CATEGORY IS OVER."
>> WIN OR LOSE, YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT PEOPLE ON STAGE, RIGHT?
BUT IF THE CAMERA IS RIGHT THERE, YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT
PEOPLE.
BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MAN THAT IS THE UGLY-- HEY, HEY!"
"HEY!
YES, YEAH."
( LAUGHTER )
TIME I ACTUALLY WENT TO THE OSCARS I WAS INVITED BECAUSE I
HAD JUST JOINED THE ACADEMY.
I WAS INVITED TO JOIN THE ACADEMY AND I DID.
AND MY WIFE REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THE OSCARS.
I SAID, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE OSCARS."
SHE SAID, "I REALLY WANT TO GO."
THE TICKETS ARE $500 EACH.
WHICH IS GREAT.
AND I SAID WE'RE GOING TO SPEND $1,000 TO GO TO THIS THING, I'M
NOT NOMINATED.
FINE, WE'LL GO.
I WAS STUCK BETWEEN JACK NICK NICHOL SON'S ENTOURAGE AND
CHER'S ENTOURAGE.
IT WAS JUST ME AND MY WIFE, NO DON-TOURAGE.
DID YOU LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU GET STUKD OF SUCKED INTO THE ENTOURAGE
WITHOUT KNOWING.
>> THE PAPARAZZI ARE SCREAM PG CHER!
JACK!
CHER!
" AND ONE GUY SEES ME, DON, DON,
MR. CHEADLE.
AND I LOOK UP AND HE GOES, "GET OUT OF THERE!"
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
I LOOKED AT MY WIFE-- IT'S LIKE, "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED TO COME
TO.
THIS IS YOUR FAULT, SWEETHEART.
THIS IS YOUR FAULT."
>> Stephen: YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED AND SAID, "THE NAME IS
SEAN EPPS, THANK YOU!" YOU HAVE A NEW SHOW ON SHOWTIME
SUNDAY NIGHTS.
IT'S CALLED "BLACK MONDAY."
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
WE HAVE A CLIP HERE.
SET UP WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.
>> THIS CLIP, REN, WHO PLAYS YOUNG UPSTART WHO IS COMING IN
TO TRY TO GET A JOB WITH MY COMPANY, COMES IN TO TRY TO PUT
HIS FOOT DOWN AND I GIVE HIM A PRIME OR AUTO MECHANICS.
>> Stephen: JIM.
>> HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO, MO.
YOU CAN GO DOWNSTAIRS AND UNTAKE THE GIANT POO YOU TOOK ON MY
CAREER.
GUESS WHAT?
I'M GOING TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF EVERY TRADE YOU MAKE FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
>> I'M GOING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.
>> WHAT KIND OF CAR YOU DRIVE, KID?
>> OH, BECAUSE I DRIVE A HONDA AND YOU DRIVE A PORSCHE?
>> I DON'T DRIVE (BLEEP).
I GET DRIVEN IN A LAMBORGHINI LIMOUSINE, AKA, A LIMO.
>> SO YOU GET NONE OF THE SPEED OF A LAMBORGHINI AND NONE OF THE
COMFORT OF A LIMOUSINE.
>> WHO ARE YOU, PPFAFF!
WHO ARE YOU?
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
GIET POINT, THOUGH.
A LOT OF THE-- I UNDERSTAND A LOT OF THE-- THE-- THE SHOW IS
ABOUT 80s EXCESS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: HOW EXCESSIVE, BECAUSE WE'RE PROBABLY ABOUT THE
SAME AGE, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> >> YEAH, 44.
>> Stephen: YEAH, I'M IN MY LATE 44s, VERY LATE 44s.
>> ME, TOO.
>> Stephen: I WAS A YOUNG MAN, I WAS IN MY 20s IN THE
1980s.
DID YOU ENGAGE IN THE 80s EXCESS?
DID YOU LIVE LARGE?
>> NO, MY EXCESS WAS HOW MUCH FOR ANOTHER BOX OF THOSE KRAFT
MACARONI AND CHEESE.
I WAS A STUDENT, BASICALLY, JUST GOT OUT OF SCHOOL AND HUSTLING
TRYING TO GET A JOB AS AN ACTOR.
WHEN THE STOCK MARKET CRASHED, I WAS LIKE, "OH, THAT'S A TRIP.
DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?" >> Stephen: I REMEMBER
DISTINCTLY, I WAS SELLING IF YOU TONS FOR A LIVING.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN CHICAGO, ON BELMONT AVENUE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND I WATCHED, I LISTENED-- THERE WERE NO
CUSTOMERS.
THERE WERE NO CUSTOMERS.
AND I HAD RADIO ON ALL DAY LISTENING TO THE MARKET CRASH
AND GOING, "I AM SO GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE A DOLLAR TO PUT IN
THE STOCK MARKET.
SUCKS TO BE RICH."
>> EXACTLY, I WAS LIKE, "OH, WELL."
I HAD A IF YOU TON.
I MAY HAVE HAD ONE OF YOUR FUTONS AT YOUR AGE.
>> Stephen: THEY LOFT TO FILL THE SPINE.
I CAN TELL THE WHOLE THING.
TOP SALESMAN.
>> OH, I CAN -- >> Stephen: MOW MONEY.
>> I CAN TELL.
>>> Stephen: "BLACK MONDAY" AIRS SUNDAY NIGHTS ON SHOWTIME.
DON CHEADLE, EVERYBODY!