good evening
well, first of all, it's great to be with you
and thank you, everybody
this is it--your last chance to make an impression
so…let's make it count
okay
we know we've got lots of work to do
let's do this in B-flat minor
AHHHHHH
such a nasty woman
he choked (preekotos)
wrong (cheetos)
he choked (omnipitos)
wrong
he goes around with crocodile tears (schmeegoros)
wrong (trumptos)
such a nasty woman (eclintonpros)
we have so many adversaries overseas
can we all agree to be frenemies?
I would work with our allies in the Middle East
that's the only way we're going to keep the peace (okay)
Mosul, Mosul, Mosul
so sad, so sad
it's a catastrophe
so bad, so bad
can everyone achieve the American Dream
or should they sign up for my Ponzi Scheme?
we are gonna go where the money is (alright)
we are gonna help small businesses
our jobs are being sucked out of our economy
right now, our country is dying
dying bigly, bigly
why should you run the show?
we've gotta do more
tell us 'cause we need to know
we need to get the drug lords
two more weeks until we vote
you get shot walkin' to the store
who should really run the show
Donald got into a twitter war
for the Supreme Court, who would you choose?
please don't say me--I'm a busy duuude
the Supreme Court, it's what it's all about
the second amendment is under such, such trauma
I understand and respect gun ownership
I hope the Senate confirms the nominee
of President Obama
to stop a cold war, what should we be doin?
would you go thumbwrestle Vladimir Putin?
I don't know Putin--this is not my best friend
he's outsmarted Hillary and she's playing Chicken
look at a startup they signed
you are willing to spout the Putin line
these cyber attacks from the Kremlin
are designed to influence our election
Putin has a very clear favorite in this race
he'd rather have a puppet as President of the United States
why should you run the show? (PREEKOTOS CHEETOS OMNIPITOS)
we have horrible deals
tell us, 'cause we need to know (SCHMEEGORÓS TRUMPTOS EECLINTONPROS)
Donald bought Chinese steel
two more weeks until we vote
I should win easily
who should really run the show?
he's talkin down our democracy
it's so dishonest
I say it's rigged
she should never have been allowed to run based on what she did (I see)
our democracy works--we've had free and fair elections
Donald thinks things are rigged every time things are not going in his direction
we have some bad, bad hombres here
and we're gonna get em out
it's what it's all about
bad hombres
why should you run the show?
I wanna raise the minimum wage
tell us, 'cause we need to know
our country is so outraged
two more weeks until we vote
we invest from the ground up
who should really run the show
our jobs are being sucked, sucked
wow--that was great, guys!
fantastic melodies
thanks a lot for doin a great job
I'm very proud of that
IS IT WINDY IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?
JUST ME?
THIS IS--THIS IS MY WIND?
JUST--JUST FOR ME?
cool!
Schmoyoho, accent on the yó
debates are better as musicals
check out Weird Al
and here are all the debates songs
and a bunch of bonus stuff on our new Patreon
whoever sings best gets four years to run the show
BALANCE BUDGETS (the show)
SHAVE PEOPLE'S HEADS (the show)
FIGHT WARS (run the show)
CHILL WITH CELEBS (the show)
KISS CHILDREN