The gradual return of sports has faced countless setbacks—from players testing positive to
baseball’s controversial replacement of the post-game handshake with the post-game
spitting in each other’s mouths. Why would you introduce this now?! However, there’s
one sport that’s reopening the right way, and America can learn a lot from it. I sent
Amy Hoggart to learn more. Trump has repeatedly failed to contain the
spread of the coronavirus. From holding back the CDC, to limiting tests, then flip -lopping
on masks, and that time he told us all to put sunlight inside our bodies. With 200,000
dead, it seems Republicans aren't any closer to a cohesive plan. Luckily, one organization
has a COVID protocol that goes above and beyond. - Roller derby has saved the world.
What? Usually, Women's Flat Track Derby Association, or WFTDA, beats the s*** out of each other.
But these days, they're focused on protecting each other with what experts are calling one
of the best COVID plans in existence. So I decided to join the team...
Help! And chase down derby players Tracey “Dreadlocked
and Loaded” Hughes, April “Jumpy McGee” Fournier, and one of the creators of the plan,
Nikki McCorristin, AKA “Trauma.” Trauma?
- Well because I’m a nurse, and I’m a medic for all of the teams in Utah too, so
I handle a lot of trauma. Maybe my name should be something like…
Extra Small? Skull Frontal? Please Find Me Funny? Um… Queen Eliza-Death. And, because
of the Freaky Friday that is 2020, roller derby came up with a COVID safety plan while
government officials were the ones playing games.
- We really are emphasizing players’ safety before getting back out to “normal”.
- One of the really neat things about roller derby is it’s a do-it-yourself type of sport.
And so we have so many people from different walks of life.
- Everybody that worked on the COVID protocols are roller derby players, but we’re also
infection prevention nurses and epidemiologists and health care professionals.
That’s amazing. In addition to actual scientists creating the plan, what really sets derby’s
protocol apart is the systematic approach consisting of seven tiers. At tier one, players
can practice but no contact. As COVID gets better, you can do more roller derbying all
the way up to full contact and eventually allow crowds to return. It may seem simple,
but this 27-page document includes what no other plan has: clear criteria for moving
up and back depending on the severity of the outbreak. And it’s got experts like the
Director of Health from the National Recreation and Parks Association excited.
- Well, the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association plan is incredible. We were so impressed with
the plan, we shared it across our network of 64,000+ park and recreation professionals,
10,000+ park and rec agencies across the entire country.
Whoa. Do you have a roller derby name? - Hmm…
Can I suggest Parks and Wreck? - Ooh, that’s a good one.
Thank you. Besides the Republicans, who else was too
short-sighted to come up with their own plans? - We’re getting contact from people all
over the world. Really?
- Yes. And thousands have looked to their plan for
guidance including universities, hospitals, businesses, even government agencies. Do you
think Mitch McConnell should start playing roller derby? Just to learn more about politics,
and then also get the s*** get kicked out of him?
- I think that would be great. He already knows how to fall forward.
Yes, they’ve bowled over the Republicans. And WFTDA is lapping this country’s president,
governors, and school commissioners when it comes to protocols that relax and strengthen
COVID regulations as we move through this pandemic. Not only that, WFTDA made sure their
plan could be implemented no matter the size or economic abilities of the teams. Wow! I
wish they were in charge of planning this election.
- I think what sets roller derby apart from professional sports and government is really
that we don’t get paid to play the sport. And when you remove that financial component,
you really get to focus on the things that are most important, like human life.
Do you think it’s crazy that the main thing you got right that others got wrong is trying
to protect the community? - I would like to say that’s surprising,
but it’s not. Historically, when you have women in charge, they know how to get things
done. So actually, the only place in the world that is playing derby is in New Zealand because
they’ve almost effectively eradicated the virus on their island.
Yes, it seems like when women are in leadership positions, the COVID response has been substantially
better. So it’s no surprise that an inclusive sport got it right.
- It’s a sport for everyone. For all shapes and sizes and abilities and races and gender
expressions. - Once you put eight wheels on your feet,
that is the great equalizer. - It’s just a skating rink full of weirdos.
That’s also the Democratic Party’s slogan. And like the Democratic Party, there's no
malarkey in roller derby. I mean, look at them! They’re using this down time to focus
on equity when it comes to economics, gender, and racial justice. And Tracey is on a worldwide
panel addressing racism in the sport! - We are putting a lot of effort into anti-racist
policies and procedures. April is bringing derby's progressive values
to Maine's city council where she's running—I mean, rolling—for office.
- I have learned so many different skills in roller derby that are absolutely translating
into political life. These renegades of roller derby are bloody
brilliant! So I have a little pitch for them. I was just wondering if you could just take
over the whole country? - Sure.
Roller Derby 2020? - Trauma 2020. I think it fits.
Trauma 2020 just sounds like a description of the year.
- Right? I really hope this track full of weirdos can
teach America how to gracefully fall forward.