Hey there.
Mat Boggs here and today I want to talk to you about conscious uncoupling.
Now, if you’ve been reading the media or listening to the radio, it is going viral
right now – that phrase “conscious uncoupling.”
And people either know what it means and if they don’t know what it means, they’re
just tearing it apart right now.
The media is having a field day with this.
Why?
Well, Gwyneth Paltrow just announced that she is dissolving her marriage with Chris
Martin her husband, but the words that she used was, “We’re bringing to this conscious
uncoupling.”
And I believe she got that phrase from a good friend of mine, Katherine Woodward Thomas
who has a whole program on what it means to do conscious uncoupling.
How do you end a breakup?
How do you end a relationship?
How do you end a breakup consciously?
How do you do it with a design rather than just by default?
You know, it’s funny.
A lot of people know how to do beginnings well.
In society, we know how to do beginnings well, especially in love, especially in romance,
right?
We will pursue each other, we will gush over each other, we will compliment one another,
we’ll serve one another, we’ll do gifts for one another, quality time, all that.
We’ll do beginnings amazing.
But very few people pay attention to how to do endings well.
We don’t live in a society, here in America, where they teach doing great endings.
And it’s interesting because endings – great endings specifically – often lead to great
beginnings.
The better we can end a relationship, the more open and free we become to creating a
new relationship.
And so that’s there the word “conscious uncoupling” really comes from, is how to
create an amazing ending that is life-giving to you, loving to and respectful for the relationship
and the time, and really blesses them and wished them well in the next chapter of their
life, and blesses you and wishes you well and opens you up to an amazing chapter in
your next life.
Every relationship that you don’t go the distance with is going to break up.
I’m sure you’ve had breakups, right?
I’ve had breakups.
Every one of us have had breakups in the past.
So we’re presented with a choice – a choice point.
How do we want to do this breakup?
Most people don’t even realize they get a choice in how they do it.
Most people do breakups the way they see their parents do breakups, the way they see their
friends do breakups.
And often, it results in plates flying across the room, slamming in walls, and screaming
and yelling.
There’s another alternative, and that’s called conscious uncoupling.
That’s where you actually lay a blueprint.
You say, “Look, if we’re going to end this relationship –”
And I’m not saying it’s easy, right?
Oftentimes, one person wants to get out and the other person wants to stay in.
Rarely do you have both people collectively say, “Ah, our time is up.
We’re going to go our separate ways.”
No.
That’s not how it works.
One person usually wants out.
The other person is fighting for the relationship.
That’s complicated.
That’s tough.
Our hearts are complicated, our minds are complicated.
So how do you navigate that terrain to create the most positive experience possible?
Well, my parents divorced when I was 14 years old and it was tough on me, man.
It was hard.
it was hard on the whole family.
But they decided to do it with design.
They said, “Look, if we’re going to end this marriage, what’s the best way that
we could possibly end this marriage?
How can we do it in the most loving, the most respectful, the most positive, the most life-giving
for our children?
What would that look like?”
And so they got together and they put a plan in place for how to dissolve that marriage
and move on in their lives in a way that really fostered family and fostered caring.
And I’m so grateful for their example of what it meant to consciously uncoupling.
They didn’t call it that back then but it’s exactly what they did.
And I was blessed because there I was a few years later at my high school graduation,
at our big family dinner, and on my right side was my mom and her new husband and on
my left side was my dad and his new wife!
And they’re sitting together, talking, having a great time, being friendly.
My dad with my mom’s husband, joking and laughing and I’m looking at this going,
“Are you kidding me right now?
Like this is amazing.”
I was so grateful that my family was aware enough to say, “Look, let’s create an
experience that’s life-giving for everyone.”
So that’s the opportunity that’s in front of us.
Now, I don’t know what’s going on for you right now – if you’re in a breakup
or if you’re in a relationship – but if your heart is torn, if you want to end and
heal this relationship in the most conscious, loving way possible, I posted a link below
this video.
It’s to Katherine Woodward Thomas’ program.
You can read all about it and learn exactly how to do conscious uncoupling to end a relationship
so that the person is blessed and you wish them well, and they experience more love and
more freedom in life and you experience more love and more freedom in life.
So that link is in the description.
Go ahead and click that link because I know it will serve you and I look forward to seeing
you soon.