Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been three weeks since my last confession,
and these are my sins.
If you’ve ever seen a confession portrayed by Hollywood, this is probably how you’d
expect the sacrament to begin.
The penitent begins speaking, and the priest remains silent until offering brief counsel
or penance.
Even if you’re Catholic, this might be how you experience the sacrament on a regular
basis.
Which is fine.
It’s not the actual rite of the Church, but whatever.
You see, while customs like these are widespread across the United States and other regions,
having become engrained into our perception of the way things should go, there is an actual
rite of confession, just like there is a missal for Mass and order to marriage, that follows
a very different script.
What does the Church think that confession should look like?
This is Catholicism in Focus.
——
Let’s make one thing clear right from the start because my words have a way of being
misconstrued: if you start off confession saying “bless me” or “forgive me father
for I have sinned,” of if a priest told you to say that, that’s fine.
The sacrament is still valid, your sins are still forgiven, there is no problem at all.
I’m not out to criticize local practices and customs or to put down people’s experience
of faith.
What I am out to do is to show that there is an actual rite of Penance, as instructed
by the Universal Church, that is powerful and well-crafted and has a specific purpose….
that does not include these words.
Nowhere in the official rite do these words exist.
In fact, the sacrament doesn’t even start with the penitent.
According to the Rite of Penance, promulgated in 1973, the very first thing that is supposed
to happen in the sacrament is a welcome by the priest.
“When the penitent comes to confess his sins, the priest welcomes him warmly and greets
him with kindness.”
The rite doesn’t specify what exactly that means and there’s no specific script.
It may be as simple as a smile and a hello, as in depth as small talk to see how the person
is doing.
The point, and it’s an important one, is that it is the priest’s responsibility to
set the tone: there is no reason to be afraid.
The opposite is true of the following rubric, which indicates that “the penitent makes
the sign of the cross which the priest may make also.”
For anyone who knows anything about Catholic sacramental rituals, this should jump out
as bizarre.
Rather than the priest making the sign of the cross and the penitent responding “Amen,”
which is the case for each of the other 6 sacraments, it is the penitent that takes
the initiative and leads the prayer.
It may seem just as insignificant as the priest welcoming warmly, but it actually has a tremendous
effect on the theology of the sacrament.
Rather than the priest being the active voice of the sacrament, leading and dictating the
prayer to God, it is the penitent, the one who comes of their own free will and seeks
reconciliation with God, that leads.
This is not to suggest that the priest is unnecessary or doesn’t play a vital role,
though.
Not at all.
The penitent may initiate the prayer and it is up to them to confess their sins, but they
need a guide and some assurance.
It’s for this reason, that, just as the priest welcomed the penitent at the onset,
the rite dictates that, after the sign of the cross, “The priest invites the penitent
to have trust in God, in these or similar words: “May God, who has enlightened every
heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy.”
When I hear confessions, I often say something to the effect of, “I remind you that our
God is loving and merciful, and so there is nothing that you could have ever done to turn
him away from you.
With that confidence, I encourage you to trust in God.”
It may seem like a small gesture, and many priests overlook it, but it can have a powerfully
calming effect on the penitent.
Which is good, because that’s sort of the point.
Rather than the priest sitting back and expecting the penitent to dive right in with their sins,
a task that might be difficult, something that may not have happened in many years,
something the penitent may not even know how to do, the rite eases the penitent into an
environment of peace and mercy.
Where further acts of welcoming are deemed fitting or the priest wishes to create an
even more prayerful environment, the rite allows for Scripture to be used at this time:
“Then the priest may read or say from memory a text of Scripture which proclaims God's
mercy and calls man to conversion.
A reading may also be chosen from those given for the reconciliation of several penitents.
The priest and penitent may choose other readings from scripture.”
Common selections include a passage from the story of the prodigal son, the words of Isaiah
reminding us of how the suffering servant bore the sins of others, or any number of
readings that set the tone for what is about to happen: the forgiveness of sins.
The use of scripture is completely optional, and in many cases seen as impractical.
When there are 15 people waiting in line for confession, you have to move it along… but
you can see what the Church envisioned: rather than a simple, you’re in and you’re out
experience… it can and should be, a rather profound experience of prayer.
At this point, the penitent is finally ready to confess their sins, and does so after what
is called a “general formula for confession.”
The rite recommends the penitential act from mass, “I confess to almighty God,” but
one could see the “Forgive me father for I have sinned” formula as just as suitable
at this point.
Although, again, those words do not appear anywhere in the rite.
In case you forgot.
Often, the penitent may need help examining their conscience, determining whether or not
something is a sin, or clearly verbalizing their prayer.
In such cases, the rite relies on the priest to offer assistance.
“If necessary, the priest helps the penitent to make an integral confession and gives him
suitable counsel.
He urges him to be sorry for his faults, reminding him that through the sacrament of penance
the Christian dies and rises with Christ and is thus renewed in the paschal mystery.”
Practically speaking, it generally not appropriate for the priest to ask prying questions, those
that would force the penitent to incriminate themselves or share something they had not
intended to share.
Rather, what the priest can do is seek clarification.
Did you mean this or that?
Was there a reason that you did that thing?
Is this a recurring habit or a one-time sin?
As it is ultimately Christ who knows all and forgives sins, it is not important that the
priest understand every detail of every sin, but he does need to know enough if he is to
offer proper counsel.
Which, is the next step: “The priest should make sure that he adapts his counsel to the
penitent's circumstances.”
Confession is not the same as spiritual direction, and so it is impossible to expect the priest
to offer extensive advice, but it may be helpful to provide brief reassurance or guiding tips.
What simple bit of counsel might help the penitent to avoid sin?
When the penitent has fully confessed their sins and the priest offered as much counsel
as necessary, the rite turns back to the priest, who “proposes an act of penance which the
penitent accepts to make satisfaction for sin and to amend his life.”
There are two things to note here: the first is that penance is not a means of punishment,
nor is it something to earn one’s forgiveness.
The penitent, because of their contrite heart, will leave the confessional forgiven regardless
of whether or not they complete the penance.
Rather, penance is a means of helping the penitent to make a change in their life and
to offer a sign of fruit of their conversion.
In many ways, it can be seen as proof that they have turned their heart.
If you do this thing, you will prove to yourself that you are committed to a new life without
sin.
Far more interesting than this is the second part, in which it says that the penitent must
“accept” the penance.
The priest does not have the power to tie heavy burdens to the penitent.
What he says is not an order, but something he proposes.
If the penitent feels it to be too difficult or even impossible, it is up to him or her
to ask for another penance until they can agree.
Once this has occurred “the priest then asks the penitent to express his sorrow.”
A few options are given within the rite, but no specific words are necessary.
All the penitent needs to do at this time is express the fact that they are sorry for
their sins and that they are resolved to do better.
Following this prayer, “The priest extends his hands over the penitent’s head (or at
least extends his right hand)” and says the words of absolution:
“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled
the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through
the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your
sins in the name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” to which the
penitent responds, “Amen.
At which point the confession is finally over and the penitent can run out of the confessional
renewed and overjoyed?
Not yet.
Just as the rite began with a welcome, so, too, does the rite end with a dismissal.
“After the absolution, the priest continues: Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
The penitent concludes: His mercy endures for ever.
Then the priest dismisses the penitent who has been reconciled, saying: The Lord has
freed you from your sins.
Go in peace.”
Which, has got to be one of the greatest lines in all of Christianity, am I right?
And really, doesn’t the whole rite just feel right?
While many have grown comfortable with the quick, direct nature of some confessions,
situations in which the penitent blurts out their sins and the priest absolves them, there
is also something a bit impersonal about it.
The sacrament is not a transaction nor is it something to be finished as quickly as
possible.
It’s a holy encounter, a serious moment of approaching God, of entering into a sacred
space of mercy.
Especially for those who have been away for a while and may need more guidance, but really,
for everyone… why wouldn’t you want to savor that moment and get everything you possibly
can out of it?