Number #1 in da hood, G
- GENTLEMEN,
- GENTLEMEN...
BEHOLD.
[BEEPING] GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD...
BEHOLD, THE RABBOT!
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
THE RABBOT!
MY CREATION!
WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?
GENTLEMEN. LOOK, AND BEHOLD!
I HAVE CREATED THIS THING.
- W-WHAT IS IT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
MOTHMONST--OH, NO!
MOTHMONSTERMAN! NO! COME BACK!
BEHOLD.
[BEEPING]
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
- DOCTOR, I'M READY TO ROCK.
- THEN I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR HAIR
TO THE BACK OF THIS AUDITORIUM.
1, 2, 3, 4.
[PLAYING GUITAR]
THIS ONE'S CALLED "ROBOT AFFLICTION."
- GENTLEMEN, FEAST YOUR EYES.
- WHAT THE HELL?
DON'T FEAST! RUN! DAMN IT!
GENTLEMEN. LOOK, AND BEHOLD!
[LAUGHS]
Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN--
Steve: YOU KNOW, YOU CAN CALL ME STEVE.
I MEAN, THERE'S NO ONE ELSE HERE.
[GRUNTING] HEH HEH. RIGHT?
MY MIND!
Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
WHAT?
JUST HANG ON.
[BEEPING] AND NOW...
BEHOLD!
YOU SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING OR--
AM I NOT INVISIBLE?
UH, NO. WHY NOT?!
Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCEE!
I THINK THAT'S A GIANT SPIDER.
YOU'RE RIGHT!
[MUFFLED] I'VE BEEN BETRAYED!
RUN!
BEHOLD!
[BEEPING]
CORN!
OH, OK. YOU KNOW, THIS IS PRETTY NICE.
YEAH, AND I AM KIND OF HUNGRY.
GOOD!
THEN LET THE MATING BEGIN!
[LAUGHING]
Dr. Weird: YES!
YES, TERRY!
MINING FOR BRAINS!
HA HA HA!
HEY, UH, WHO WAS THAT ON THE PHONE?
UH, NO ONE. HEY, LET'S HIGHLIGHT YOUR HAIR!
BUT I LIKE MY HAIR THIS COLOR.
IT BEGINS!
GENTLEMEN,
I BRING YOU
MORE CORN!
GEE, I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I MEAN, AFTER LAST TIME--
THIS TIME SHALL BE DIFFERENT!
[WEIRD CACKLES]
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
'CAUSE I AM HUNGRY AGAIN.
IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL,
IS IT, STEVE?
HA HA HA!
GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD...
MY TIME-SPACE CONTIN--
WHAT?!
UH, DR. WEIRD?
SEE YOU LATER. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.
GENTLEMEN, TURN IT ON!
UH, OK.
[GARBLED] TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF...
Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN,
CHOP OFF MY HEAD WITH SUCH VELOCITY
THAT MY BLOOD WILL ROCKET THROUGH MY NECK
AND PROPEL MY LIFELESS BODY
ALL THE WAY TO PHOENIX!
WOW.
HEH.
ER, WHAT'S IN PHOENIX?
WHY, IT'S YOUR MAMA, STEVE! GET THE AXE!
I HAVE LOST WEIGHT!
HEY, HEY, LOOKING GOOD.
YES. UH, ALL SUGARS GONE.
MANUALLY! WITH THIS!
[LAUGHS]
OK, UH, I THINK I'M GONNA GO TO LUNCH.
I NEED TO LOSE 20 MORE POUNDS,
OR I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
TO YOU!
YAY! THANKS, DOC! WOW, THAT'S SO SWEET.
COME ON OUT OF THAT CAGE,
LET ME GIVE YOU A BIG OL' HUG!
[RAWR] AAH!
OH, YEAH! TAKE IT TO THE BANK, DADDY!
I HAVE GENETICALLY SPLICED THE DOUBLE-HELIX OF A FRIED PORK CHOP
WITH THAT OF MY ROOMMATE, RANDALL!
- WHOA.
- HELL YES, WHOA. COME HERE, RANDALL.
AND PAY YOUR HALF OF THE UTILITIES!
HA HA HA!
TA-DA!
- WAIT FOR THE DRUM ROLL!
- STEVE. - YEAH?
- PICK UP THAT STICK.
SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY, NOW,
AGITATE THE HELL OUT OF THIS SNAKE!
- AW, HELL NO.
I HAVE MADE LOVE TO THIS MACHINE!
AND NOW, UPON RETROSPECT, I ASK WHY.
- I'M SURE SOMEONE THINKS THAT'S PRETTY NEAT.
SO, YOU DO THAT FOR SCIENCE OR--
- NO! IT WAS FREE!
AND SHE WAS DRUNK.
SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
MY METAL BOY!
UH...ARE YOU TOTALLY SURE ABOUT THIS ONE?
- IT SAYS TO DO IT, STEVE, AND I WROTE IT.
SO IT MUST BE RIGHT.
- OK, WELL...
HMM...NOW WAIT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS
FROM TALKING HOLE IN NECK.
- GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
I HAVE GRAFTED A DEER ANTLER TO MY GROIN!
- WOW.
- YOU KNOW, SO I'LL FIT IN WITH THE REST OF THE HERD.
- HOW DO YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM?
BEHOLD.
THE THERMOSTAT!
- THAT'S BEEN THERE.
- OBSERVE AS I ADJUST THE HEAT!
HA HA HA!
- IS IT ON?
- YOU TELL ME! HA HA HA!
OH, WAIT!
GENTLEMEN, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I AM DR. BUTTOCKS!
GENTLEMEN, WHERE ARE YOU?
GENTLEMEN, THERE'S A CHANCE THIS WILL WORK!
- ACTUALLY, SIR, THERE'S NO CHANCE THIS WILL WORK.
- FOOL! THAT WILL NEVER WORK!
- GENTLEMEN, WHO STOLE MY HAIRARIUM?
[STAMMERING] - YOUR WHAT?
- MY HAIR HELMET!
- OH. WELL, THAT'S RIGHT THERE.
ON YOUR HEAD. - OH.
BULLSH--!
YOU CALL THIS A VACATION?
- NO. I CALL IT...
TACO ISLAND!
- GENTLEMEN!
FILL ME WITH BARBECUE SAUCE BECAUSE I'M DUMB AS HELL.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
YEAH, I KNOW, JAVIER.
- HEY, I'M BACK FROM LUNCH.
- WHERE'S MINE?
- EH-HEH.
UM, UH, I--I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DON'T LIKE TO EAT.
'CAUSE YOU SAID FOOD MAKES YOU REALLY--
UH, CRAZY?
- THIS MAKES ME REALLY CRAZY!
- GIVE ME SOME FRIES, BOY!
- UHH!
- PUT IT BACK!
- SO, GENTLEMEN,
YOU, UH, YOU TRY THAT FOOT LOTION I GAVE YOU?
THE ONE WITH THE GORILLA ON THE BOTTLE?
YOU KNOW? THE ONE--
- DOES IT LOOK LIKE I TRIED IT?
- YOU DID!
- OOGIE BOOGIE. - [GROANING]
- OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. OH, WHO'S A GOOD LITTLE FELLA?
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?
- AAH!
- OH, HERE HE COMES!
- HEY! AAH!
- SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP, STEVE! YOU'RE SCARING HIM!
- UH, YEAH. 6-INCH ON WHEAT,
UH, NO MAYO.
UH, HANG ON.
DR. WEIRD?
- MY ASS HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO EAT MY HAND!
[CRUNCH]
IT HUNGERS FOR MORE.
- ZZZ!
UGH! WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS?
- THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
- NICE.
- YEAH, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS MY TWO WEEKS' NOTICE.
- SAMHAIN FOREVER!
HA HA HA!
- UH, YEAH. LISTEN, WE WOULD LOVE
TO MAKE THE ICE-CREAM SOCIAL, BUT, UH--
- BUT WHAT, STEVE? - YEAH, LIE TO US.
- WE'VE, UH, KIND OF GOTTEN BEHIND AT WORK.
- WE HAVE BECOME ONE!
>> Dr. Weird: BEHOLD!
THERE IS AN ADHESIVE BANDAGE IN
MY 'NANA PUDDING!
I DEMAND THAT IT BE REMOVED!
THANK YOU.
>> Steve: UH, YOU KNOW, YOU
COULD PROBABLY GET IT FOR FREE
NOW.
>> Dr. Weird: WOMAN!
BRING BACK THE BANDAGE.
I WANT IT FOR FREE!