hello and welcome back to the bliss bean i have been working on developing a theory
in other words i've just thought about something a couple of times and would like to share my
thoughts on it i call it the levels of happiness theory this theory proposes that there are three
basic levels to our happiness so the first layer is how you're feeling in the moment the second
level is more kind of like how you feel about how your day is going or how your week is going and
finally we have your foundational layer where it's like how is your life going how satisfied are you
with your life so those are the basic three levels and something i've noticed is that a lot of times
i may not be happy in my very first layer i might be having a really busy and fast paced day and so
i'm feeling stressed and anxious and in the moment just not feeling great however i can still feel
really content and satisfied with how the day is going and i can feel really content and satisfied
with how my life is going like maybe i'm feeling stressed but i feel like that's all going to some
bigger purpose like my life has meaning at the same time i can be feeling really lost and sad
on that middle level but on the first level i'm watching the office so i'm laughing
life is good and so as we can see that first level is pretty easy to achieve but what i
want to do and when i say i i just mean like we people in general is find some sense of
purpose and meaning in our lives and it's not gonna be easy by any means but a really
awesome byproduct of that is gonna be feeling happy and joyful so that's my theory and you
can pre-order my book on that coming out in 2020 never who are these kids outside get off my lawn
i will admit this theory of mine is pretty common sense stuff like we all know that we should be
searching for purpose and meaning in our lives but that's very vague advice and it's very difficult
to concretely apply to your life i do not want to for a second claim that a youtube video will solve
your problems and help you figure out your life's purpose but we know that small regular habits can
add up to big changes so in this video i wanted to share a couple of habits that you can incorporate
to help you cultivate a mindset that will help to achieve happiness as a byproduct of it yes
let's do this so the first habit that i want to talk about something that i promote relentlessly
is journaling and the way i see it there's three kinds of journaling past present and future so the
first kind of writing about the past the purpose of that is to sort through your experiences and
the thoughts and emotions that you have regarding those experiences for example when you're
journaling in the evening you might write about something really frustrating that happened that
day and use your journal as a space to just vent all of your feelings once you're done your mind
feels clearer you have a little bit more clarity and you can kind of step back from the situation
you might realize that something wasn't as big of a deal as you thought it was or you might realize
that yes it actually was a big deal but you can decide what your next action will be in a calmer
and more reasonable way the second purpose of journaling is to consciously choose your thoughts
in the present so maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning but in your journal
you would not dwell on that because as oprah said what you focus on expands and when you focus on
the goodness in your life you create more of it so instead what you would write about is how the sun
is shining outside how beautiful the autumn leaves look the delicious breakfast you're going to have
so you're literally pushing those negative thoughts aside and replacing them with positive
ones and putting them in writing because putting stuff in writing makes it official and then
finally future journaling so you may have heard of this term scripting scripting is a practice
where you place yourself in the future and write in the past or present tense so maybe it's morning
and you're looking at your day and you've got so much work to do or you have to give some scary
presentation at school so what you would do is you would pretend that it's now the end of the day and
you're looking back at the day and you're writing about how quickly you got all of that work done
how easy it was how perfectly your presentation went and you are choosing that that is the kind of
day that you are going to have today you can also just fit little bursts of journaling into your day
it doesn't have to be a sit down and write three pages kind of thing although i do encourage you to
try that once in a while if you don't want to do that on the daily there's this app that i really
like and i've partnered with them in the past so og viewers will remember but it's called daily
aloha so daily haloha is a free app that every day gives you a little mindful prompt to answer
i showed it to you back when i did my morning routine video and i think it's the perfect kind
of thing to do as part of your morning routine because it really sets the tone for the day but
really you can do it whenever you have a minute so maybe you're standing in line instead of
going to social media you can answer their daily prompt so today the prompt was today i'm going to
give the gift of my full attention to blank and i answered going on an outdoor autumn walk slash run
more of a walk than a run but you send it off into the world and then you get to see someone
else's response and react to it and then they show you a wall full of responses from people
all over the world so some recent prompts have been by the end of the year i'd like to blank
my heart flutters went blank the most exotic meal i've had was blank so there's so much variety i
just really like this app because it encourages me to think in different ways so i often find
myself writing the same things over and over in my journal it would be so boring to read through but
then when daily haloha asks something like what's the most exotic meal you've ever had suddenly am
looking back at and reminiscing on memories that i haven't thought about in a really long time
happy memories and then also reading everyone else's responses is just really nice it creates a
sense of community which i think we really really need at this time so today if you go on the app
if you're watching this on friday otherwise i'm sorry you are out of luck the prompt is actually
one that i wrote and it has to do with the topic of this video so if you head to the link in the
description and download daily aloha you can see what it is because i'm not gonna tell you what
it is you have to go see for yourself all right the next habit i want to talk about is a stop
complaining complaining can be really fun i know but i think you have to be aware of when it's fun
and when it's just bringing you down for no reason and bringing down people around you like maybe you
have a ton of homework and you're getting really stressed out about it and you're just sitting
there going ah this is stupid the teacher thinks this is the only class we have how could you give
us only two days i hate this and then you text your friends and you complain about it together
no yes there is some power and humor and i think it can be fun to joke around with friends it can
be a great stress reliever you have to be really careful that you're not dwelling on it so much
that it's creating more stress and also that you're not relinquishing the power that you have
over your life so allow me to explain that with the homework example instead of complaining about
the big assignment which is probably just going to stress you out make you miserable
and less productive as a result you can instead choose positive thoughts and actions so maybe when
you find out about the assignment you can text your friends a funny gift but then after that
put the phone away and tell yourself that you are so capable of getting this work done and you're
going to get it done so quickly and you're going to get an a because you are just that
good or you can take some sort of an action like asking for an extension on the assignment if you
know that you're gonna need it this will all move you towards a solution and towards getting out of
the problem rather than just sitting there which is gonna accomplish nothing now it's difficult to
make a decision just like that and feel like i am never going to complain a single time in my life
ever again and so i think a good way to kind of dip your toe into this is with some sort of
a challenge so maybe you challenge yourself to a day of no complaining and see what that feels
like it'll probably be uncomfortable at first and you'll have to stop yourself and shut yourself up
before you say stuff but once you do that the urge to complain kind of passes you get back
to whatever you are doing and it starts to kind of train you to not have those urges to complain
in the first place now what you can replace those negative complaints is segway gratitude
again it's hard to just say like from now on i will be grateful that's like writing a new year's
resolution to be healthier so a really simple way to start is just every day write down three
things that you're grateful for really feel into that gratitude and that's it habit stacking really
helps here so you're more likely to remember to do this if you tie it to an existing habit for
example naming three things you're grateful for as you brush your teeth personally i've tied it to my
journaling habit so after i finish my morning or my evening journal entry right below that i
just make a list of three things that i'm grateful for by doing this you're consciously turning your
attention to what is good leaving less and less room for negative thoughts because remember what
oprah said what you focus on you create more of yes good job and the nice thing about gratitude is
that there pretty much is always something good to focus on to start with if you are in good health
right now that can be number one on your gratitude list every single time a healthy man wants a
thousand things a sick man only wants one if you haven't read it i would highly recommend the book
man search for meaning by victor frankl frankel was an austrian psychiatrist who spent three years
in concentration camps under truly unimaginable conditions and in his book he writes about how in
order to stay alive the survivors had to find purpose and meaning in the absolute darkest
of moments everything can be taken from a man but one thing the last of the human freedoms to choose
one's attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one's own way alrighty meditation for
me i see meditation as just training a muscle it trains your mind to be more positive more
empathetic more focused on the present so at its basic all you have to do to meditate is
set a timer find a quiet and comfortable place to sit i like to have a pillow underneath me because
if i don't then all i can think about the entire time is how uncomfortable my back is and for the
duration of that time you just focus on your breath whenever your attention drifts you just
gently pull it back and that's it one of my favorite kinds of meditations you've probably
heard of is called loving kindness meditation it's where you basically sit and like telepathically
send love to other people that's a very very simplified and terrible explanation of it but
you send love to yourself to people you get along with to people you don't get along with to people
you don't even know to the whole world we always hear that if you're feeling sad and lost you kind
of have to counter intuitively stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about what you can do
for other people so i find the loving kindness meditation a really effective way to get me out of
my own head step outside of myself and feel better by wishing for others to feel better basically
and last but not least a habit you can incorporate is repeating affirmations so an affirmation is a
positive statement that you repeatedly think or say to yourself throughout the day this can
be really broad so maybe you're working on your self-confidence then your affirmation might be
i am strong and capable of anything i set my mind to or it could be tied to a very specific
goal like i love reading for 30 minutes every day and learning new things i made this worksheet for
writing your own affirmation and the link is in the description you can also just find really long
lists of affirmations online just pick a few that resonate with you and surround yourself with them
it's kind of like fake it till you make it you might not really believe what you're saying
at first but if you tell yourself this positive story over and over and over again
eventually you'll kind of just have to accept it if the stories you're currently telling yourself
are negative like i never do well on tests so it doesn't matter how much i study or i'm too
lazy to be productive so why even bother trying that's exactly the kind of reality that you will
remain in nothing will change so if you notice those negative thoughts in your thought patterns
what you can do is literally take a thought and rephrase it reprogram it i have so much studying
to do for finals because i've been studying so hard i will ace these finals and get the grade
i want it's so cold and miserable outside becomes it's a great day to have a cozy night in and read
a book or watch a movie this event will be so stressful becomes i will have so much fun meeting
new people at this cool event remember you might not believe it but you have to say it until you do
so i hope you found some helpful tips in here that you can pick out to help you be happier i hope you
have a great day and feel happy on all three levels i still need to work on developing that
theory but hopefully it was somewhat interesting to listen to you can check out the daily aloha
app in the description and answer the prompt that i wrote and i will see you next week bye
you