Is there a reason why girls don’t want to go out with me?
You mean like one reason that stands out over all the other reasons?
- You want a muffin? - Sure.
You brought muffins?
Oh, no, I found it under the seat.
[coughing]
Not so boring now, am I?
Well, see, I was dating this woman.
And during the play she sent me a text message.
She dumped me and she's moving to Fresno.
Oh, that's awesome.
No, no, no, I mean that we thought you were depressed
'cause the play was about a high school teacher
who was a sad, pathetic loser and nothing.
♪ Oh, broken glass is not a food so don’t You listen to some dude who says put ♪
♪ cheese on broken glass and make A sandwich out of broken glass ♪
What is wrong with you?
- Give it back! - Sure. Yeah.
Here.
- Who’s the wig master on this film? - You are.
That’s right, and only the wig master touches the wigs.
Well, fix hers, wig master.
Jade, will you please pop Trina's shoulder pimple?
- No! Absolutely not… - Bu-bu-bu-bu!
- Is someone being a Negative Nancy? - You cannot make me pop her sh…
We made a deal with Sikowitz!
Should I tell our whole class that you couldn’t handle it?
- Will someone please just pop my pimple?! - Will you, Jade?
Yes.
[gasping]
Oh!! That’s good stuff.
[sighing]
Later.
[laughing]
- What’s wrong? - Some goo got in my eye!
Tori, have you seen my glasses?
Uh, I’m not your little find it girl, alright, so if you lost your glasses,
maybe you should lock yourself in the basement and cry about it!
Dang, girl.
[singing]
And cut!
Everyone take cinco!
- Really nice work. Good job. - Gracias.
That was a great scene, Trina!
- Really high quality television. - Top notch acting.
You have to have your stupid prom this Saturday night!
We’re calling it a proam, be…
I was supposed to do my performance this Saturday night! Now Sikowitz says I can't
because you booked the Asphalt Cafe for your stupid prom.
Proam.
- Do you know my friend Lindsay? - Lindsay doesn’t like you.
- Bye, Robbie. - Wait! No! Don't kick us out of the chat!
No, don't.
Okay, here’s my idea. Say something intelligent or shut your face!
Why are you all dressed up like Jade?
I’m helping you. Just pretend I’m Jade
and you'll see why you don't want to be in love with a girl like her.
Congrats. You can read at a 2nd grade level.
You're not going anywhere next Friday night.
Ha! Why isn’t she?
‘Cause she’s getting her wisdom teeth out on Friday afternoon.
[laughing]
You want to get your teeth ripped out. Ha ha ha ha ha.
[laughing]
- It’s not that big a deal. - Ah, yeah it is.
- What do you mean? - It’s mouth surgery.
I mean, you're gonna be in some pretty serious pain for a couple of days.
Woo hoo! Woo hoo!
Well, you and mom are going to take care of me, right?
We would, but we're gonna be in Santa Barbara.
Oh, who’s going to have a lonely, painful weekend? Hmm? I think it’s you.
- You're gonna be taking care of her. - What?
[laughing]
Tori's gotta take care of me! Ha ha ha ha ha!
[laughing]
You know, you could have your wisdom teeth taken out right now.
How?
[screaming]
- She's the girl you're babysitting. - Babysitting.
You guys have to massage her jaw, both sides.
And every hour, use that syringe to flush her bloody gum holes with salt water.
- Eww. - Gross.
Yeah, it's worse than you think.
I don't want to flush her bloody gum holes!
Too bad you lost the bet.
Hey, why don't you go jump off that cliff over there?
- I think you should. - Just where did you come from?
Kangaroos.
Lousy animals, Kangaroos. They're awkward and dirty.
Maybe they learned from you.
[laughing]
No one talks to me like that.
- Obviously someone should. - Please run in front of a bus!
- Quite obnoxious of you to say. - Really?
- Sure was! - Thanks!
- Up your nose I see Boogers. - Very clever.
- Wish you thought of it. - X marks the spot I'd like to punch!
Your finger smells weird.
Zero is what you are on a scale from one to ten.
And back to the letter A.
- As if I care what you think! - Better watch yourself.
- Can't take it? - Don't push me!
- Eat your pants! - You eat your pants! Wait!
Ahh! Sorry, Jade. The next letter was…
F! I know!
This is a little song for the ladies.
Especially for the ones who know my friend Ryder!
- Uh, my Mike’s not working. - Bummer.
- Let’s go Andre! - Andre?
- Uh, what song is this? - Just listen. I think you’ll hate it!
♪ You had it all ♪
♪ The day you told me Told me you want me ♪
♪ I had it all ♪
♪ But let you fool me Fool me completely ♪
♪ Yeah, I was so stupid ♪
♪ To give you all my attention ♪
♪ 'Cause the way you played me ♪
♪ Exposed your true intentions ♪
♪ And one day ♪
♪ I'll have you beggin' on your Knees for me ♪
♪ Yeah, one day ♪
♪ I'll have you crawling like A centipede ♪
♪ You messed with me, And messed with her ♪
♪ So I'll make sure you get What you deserve ♪
♪ Yeah, one day ♪
♪ You'll be beggin' on your knees for me ♪
Ouch!
♪ You just got burned ♪