I seriously wish someone would have had this conversation with me when I was about 14 years old
because it would have made my child free Journey just a little bit more straightforward [Music]
let's just start with number 10. a very good place to start you can have a happy and fulfilled life
without kids how many times have people told you that you're eventually going to be bored if you
don't have kids how many times have people told you that holidays and vacations and celebrations
are just not as fun if you don't have kids it's a bit extreme life is only boring if you're a boring
person it's true that a lot of celebrations do revolve around kids and food of course because
who doesn't love to eat you can still make this celebration super fun just create your own
Traditions you do not have to live vicariously through kids to have a fun life and let's be
honest life doesn't stop being fun just because you don't have kids not everybody is going to
support your choice or even understand your choice and I would say the majority of people don't
understand the job-free life and unfortunately yes that includes family and they're definitely not
shy to let you know their thoughts and feelings about it partly because they don't agree with it
and partly because they just don't understand it why is it crazy to say I might not want kids oh
it's not crazy it's just wrong you only think you don't want kids but once you have kids you realize
that you did want them a lot of people are going to doubt your ability to make the right choice
for your own life we're making the choice to go against the grain of what almost everybody else
in society is doing and that means you're going to kind of stick out like a sore thumb and because of
that there's going to be a lot of pressure put on you to make a different decision for your life it
seems that most of the time people just want us to do the thing that everybody else is doing because
it makes sense and because Well everybody's doing it we all know what that criticism looks and feels
like but you have to remember that you still have a purpose in life we're often told that
the only reason we're here on Earth is to raise the Next Generation and for those people out there
that want to raise the Next Generation that is fantastic but some of us just don't want to do
that so then we might be asking ourselves okay well what is our purpose in life but you know
what that's for you to decide and nobody can tell you what your purpose is in life because everybody
is fulfilled by different things everyone has different passions and it's totally okay if it
takes you a really really long time to figure out what yours is is you just being you in your corner
of the world is going to be a positive influence on somebody this next one is really strange people
start to get weirdly fascinated about your lack of procreation and this is really awkward when
people say things like do you even know how kids are made or you better get the husband in the
bedroom and make it happen before you're too old to have children why do people say stuff like this
stop it having kids is super personal and it's really not anyone's business so just be prepared
I mean I hope for your sake it doesn't but if it does you're in good company because Parenthood
is propped up on this pedestal and meant to be this absolute Pinnacle of what a human should be
when you choose not to be a parent I feel like there's a lot of pressure to do something extra
because you're not a parent you do not have to do anything to make up for the fact that you are not
going to be a mother or you are not going to be a father you don't have to work 60 hours a week
you don't have to go to graduate school you don't have to invent something you don't have to be part
of a competitive work environment you can just be you and if those are things you want to do great
but you don't have to do them to make up for the fact that you aren't having a kid you also don't
have to parent something just because you don't have a kid I know there's this whole thing going
around right now like pet parents and planned parents Planned Parent beginner Planned Parent
I am such a plant mom a plant parent plant mom or plant dead and again if you want to be either
of those you can but don't feel like you have to Mother something or father something you can
just be you without having a title that somehow links you to being a parent. now I Would by no
means consider myself a Planned Parent but this is a Fergus he's been in my home now for nearly
two months and he's still alive which is pretty amazing because I'm actually terrible at taking
care of plants so we're keeping our fingers crossed for Fergus he's looking good so far
I did notice that his leaves were getting a little Dusty so I should probably clean those
up for him and thank you to everyone who jumped on my Instagram or my YouTube Community tab to
offer a name for him and then vote for which name you wanted I think he is a great looking Fergus
you do not have to go to therapy to be fixed because you don't want kids and no matter what
kind of insensitive things people are going to say to you remember that you are not deficient
or broken or immature or less lovable or less valuable because you are not a parent now this
next one is something that I have personally struggled with a lot people keep saying it to
you and you keep thinking well if everyone's saying it it must be true right but you're not
going to change your mind okay disclaimer there are a few people that do change their minds but
for those of us that are very solid in not wanting kids we are not going to change our minds you are
not going to change your mind when you finish school when you get the right career when you
buy a house when you meet somebody when you get married when you've paid off your debt when you
have the right sized house you're not going to change your mind when all your friends are
having babies or when you hold a baby or when you hit the age of 30 if you don't want a kid
you don't want a kid it doesn't matter if all of those things are happening in your life you're not
going to change your mind so here's the ironic thing as I was hitting all of these milestones
in my my own life the idea that I didn't want to be a mother just grew and grew and grew it
got stronger with every year that passed it was the exact opposite of what people told me was
going to happen when people are so persistent in saying that kind of stuff to you it's almost like
they get inside your head and it makes you think that like there's something wrong with you and
that that person knows you better than you know yourself which let's be honest we all know that
that's not true nobody is living inside your head experiencing life the way that you're experiencing
it honestly I think the most relieving thing to me ever was when I realized that these people
had no idea what they were talking about when it came to my life you don't know what you're talking
I knew what I wanted in life I knew what I didn't want in life and I was not changing my mind
you know not everyone needs to have kids to be fulfilled you're right so you know when you were
younger and adults would talk to you about having kids someday this is what they typically say when
you have kids instead they should be saying if you decide to have kids someday not when using
the word when insinuates that you don't even have a choice in the matter and even if you don't want
kids you're just going to have them because that's what we're all supposed to do and I really wish
someone had told me that when I was younger and the number two thing that no one tells you about
child of your life is that child free life is even an option Parenthood is always presented as
well that is the option that is the only option and the only reason you wouldn't have kids is
because you can't have kids which is just so not true you have the ultimate choice of whether or
not you decide to be a parent is there pressure and will you feel pressure for sure but remember
it is your choice and I understand this is much more challenging in some social settings in some
cultures in some Societies in some religious groups it is very difficult to step outside of
what is considered normal and doing the opposite and you always have an online community of people
that is going to support you if you are struggling and feel like you're alone this and that brings us
all the way to the number one thing that nobody tells you about child free life and here it is
you're not going to have many child-free friends in fact you may have no child free friends at all
because as time passes most of your friends are going to be having children and you aren't and
everything changes when your friends start having kids and I figured that out pretty quickly when
my best friend had a baby in our second year of University and if you're sitting there thinking oh
my goodness that's totally me all of my friends have babies and I feel like the odd one out
this is the video you want to watch next because you're definitely going to be able to relate to it