- I'm Trixie Mattel, thank you for having me, woo!
(audience cheers)
Okay!
There's some incredible plumbing in here,
but I'm about to show you some really nice pipes.
(audience cheers)
♪ In the can ♪
♪ Whoa-oh ♪
♪ In the can ♪
How are you guys doing back there, good?
(audience cheers)
Yes.
You guys over there, do I have enough blush on?
- [Audience Member] Yeah.
- Yeah.
I don't wanna look too flush.
(audience and Trixie laugh)
Okay, okay, okay, yeah.
(laughter)
All right, is everything okay back there?
(audience laughs)
We asked them to leave, but this is where they live, so.
(audience laughs)
On tour last year, I wrote this song
about my boyfriend called Yellow Cloud,
and what I didn't know at the time
is Yellow Cloud is slang from Craigslist
about having sex while on meth.
(audience laughs)
But we'd already recorded it! (imitates air horn)
So... (audience laughs)
One, two, here we go now.
("Yellow Cloud" by Trixie Mattel)
♪ I can see us in a small town ♪
♪ You count the stars up in the sky ♪
♪ I never thought that they could fall down ♪
♪ Onto your suit or on your tie ♪
♪ Across the table at a French place ♪
♪ I lose my way into the wine ♪
♪ With your glasses on your pretty face ♪
♪ We can go up, baby we can float up ♪
♪ Say we'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ Yours forever, thumbtack down ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And say you'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo ♪
♪ Days are running at a slow pace ♪
♪ And all the glitter in between ♪
♪ And all the fallout from the won race ♪
♪ I'm Miss American Teen ♪
♪ And I can see the picket fences ♪
♪ And I can see you mow the lawn ♪
♪ Got no fear and no pretenses ♪
♪ We got nothin' but our sunglasses on ♪
♪ Say we'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ Yours forever, thumbtack down ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And say you'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ And when we're older, we stay the same ♪
♪ A couple of losers who won the game ♪
♪ And it gets colder, but it never ends ♪
♪ Woo ♪
♪ Say we'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ Yours forever, thumbtack down ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And say you'll never come back down ♪
♪ To the place in the yellow cloud ♪
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo ♪
(audience applauds and cheers)
Oh my god.
Oh, come on, you have drag queens
in this bathroom all the time.
(audience laughs)
I know I've been in here a few times.
(audience laughs)
Yes, I am in drag, but this is the bathroom
the government would prefer me to use.
(audience laughs)
So that was so fun.
The next song is called Little Sister.
So my sister is 10 years younger than me,
and I'm like, you're a beautiful young woman
and if you want everything the world has to offer,
you gotta get out there and you gotta go get it.
This song is about that, it's called Little Sister.
("Little Sister" by Trixie Mattel)
Here, we, go, now.
♪ Little boy's supposed to do what he's told ♪
♪ Little girl's supposed to polish her toes ♪
♪ Maybe they're together when they're older ♪
♪ And all grown out ♪
♪ Daddy's supposed to put bread on the table ♪
♪ Daddy's gone and your mama ain't able ♪
♪ Are you hungry when the money's all run out? ♪
♪ Tell me little dear if you only lived here ♪
♪ Did you really ever live at all? ♪
♪ 'Cause you'd be amazed in the summer how the days ♪
♪ Of the spring turn into fall ♪
♪ Just listen to your brother ♪
♪ You can run in the cover of the night sky when it falls ♪
♪ I know that you think that you're growing ♪
♪ But you're just tall ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ A really pretty girl in a really small town ♪
♪ Easy to believe you that you'll never settle down ♪
♪ Mama told your mama just the same not long ago ♪
♪ You want a baby, the same as your friends ♪
♪ Ring'll find on your finger, and your story will end ♪
♪ You'll be lookin' 'round, wonder where did the time go? ♪
♪ Tell me little dear if you only lived here ♪
♪ Did you really ever live at all? ♪
♪ 'Cause you'd be amazed in the summer how the days ♪
♪ Of the spring turn into fall ♪
♪ Just listen to your brother ♪
♪ You can run in the cover of the night sky when it falls ♪
♪ I know that you think that you're growing ♪
♪ But you're just tall ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Woah-oh ♪
♪ Don't you think I know ♪
♪ There never was a red light in our town ♪
♪ Woah-oh ♪
♪ I hate to say I told you so ♪
♪ But you got to go right now ♪
♪ Tell me little dear if you only lived here ♪
♪ Did you really ever live at all? ♪
♪ 'Cause you'd be amazed in the summer how the days ♪
♪ Of the spring turn into fall ♪
♪ Just listen to your brother ♪
♪ You can run in the cover of the night sky when it falls ♪
♪ I know that you think that you're growing ♪
♪ But you're just tall ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
(audience applauds and cheers)
Okay!
Give it up for Aaron and Kristen, Aaron and Kristen.
(audience applauds and cheers)
Aaron and Kristen, you're safe.
Please untuck in the Interior Illusions Lounge
while the judges deliberate.
(audience laughs)
Ooh, seven minutes in heaven! (laughs)
Ooh, intimate pee lighting.
(audience laughs)
So this last and final song is a song I wrote
10 years ago when my first boyfriend
when I was 19 broke up with me, and I am so
disgusting and like, Polyanna.
We lost our virginity together, and we lost it.
- [Audience Member] Aww.
- No, no, no.
(audience laughs)
We lost it in the top bunk in my dorm room
on my freshman year because we were in love.
(audience laughs and "ew"s)
Listening to Dashboard Confessional. (laughs)
Anyway, we broke up, and he moved
all the way back to Minnesota, which, at the time,
felt like a billion million miles away,
and the reason I bring it up is because
it was in my documentary that came out this year
called Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts.
(audience cheers)
Oh, thank you, two people.
(audience laughs) (strums guitar)
But it's called Hello, Goodbye, Hello,
and I sent it to my ex-boyfriend just last week
to listen to it, 'cause I hadn't sent it in a while,
and he said, "Who is this?"
(audience laughs)
So.
("Hello, Goodbye, Hello" by Trixie Mattel)
♪ To be honest you're a dime ♪
♪ To be fair you got me on my knees ♪
♪ To be young and not on time ♪
♪ Is like flowers blowing through November freeze ♪
♪ When I speak I say your name ♪
♪ And when I wake it's written up and down my walls ♪
♪ To be frank it's all the same ♪
♪ A grumble, mumble, tumble round without a cause ♪
♪ And if you get the time ♪
♪ The number is still mine ♪
♪ Baby share a dime ♪
♪ On the line there in Minnesota time ♪
♪ Hello, goodbye, hello ♪
♪ To be truthful I don't know ♪
♪ If you're thinking what I think you do ♪
♪ To be fair it's all for show ♪
♪ The clock's been ticking, tocking, taking time from you ♪
♪ And if you get the time ♪
♪ The number is still mine ♪
♪ Baby share a dime ♪
♪ On the line there in Minnesota time ♪
♪ Hello, goodbye, hello ♪
♪ I don't see spaces in between ♪
♪ I don't see colors running down the TV screen ♪
♪ There's no lines written in this scene ♪
♪ So I won't say a thing ♪
♪ And if you get the time ♪
♪ The number is still mine ♪
♪ Baby share a dime ♪
♪ On the line there in Minnesota time ♪
♪ Hello, goodbye, hello ♪
(audience applauds and cheers)
Oh my god!
I'm Trixie Mattel, thank you guys for
having me in the bathroom, bye!
(audience applauds, cheers and laughs)
Is it this hot in here when you guys are trying to do it?
(audience laughs)
It's hot.