When Wolfgang Van Halen announced the death of his father, rock star Eddie Van Halen,
on Twitter, one of the first responses came from a woman near and dear to them both.
Actress Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen were married for twenty years, and raised
their son Wolfgang together. Bertinelli and Van Halen separated in 2001 and divorced in
2007. However, the two reportedly remained friends, even after their relationship ended.
When Bertinelli and Van Halen started dating, their relationship was puzzling to some. What
did the good girl sitcom star see in the bad boy rocker? At first, she just thought he
was cute. After her brothers invited her to a Van Halen show, Bertinelli wasn't sure whether
to join them...until she saw a photo of the band.
In a 2008 interview with Oprah, Bertinelli recalled,
"I took a look at the 8-track cassette that was in the back of my Corvette ... and I saw
a picture of Ed, and I went, 'Oh, yeah, I'll be going. He's a cutie.'"
When Valerie Bertinelli arranged a backstage introduction with Eddie Van Halen, the chemistry
was immediately apparent. Van Halen's manager, Noel E. Monk, remembers their meeting in his
book, Runnin' with the Devil. Monk wrote,
"It was kind of cute to see them together— they were both clearly nervous and somewhat
reticent. This struck me as a sign of genuine chemistry. After all, Valerie had spent most
of her life in front of a camera or audience; she was completely comfortable with all manner
of public interaction. And yet, here she was, stammering and blushing like a schoolgirl
in the presence of the captain of the football team."
For his part, Van Halen was equally smitten. In spite of his rock star persona, Monk reports,
"In the presence of this young woman, however, the rock star facade melted away."
"I think what happened is that both of us kind of got each other's personalities — I
got a little crazy, and he got to act a little more saner."
Despite their immediate connection, their relationship soon became troubled.
Van Halen and Bertinelli set a wedding date for 1981, just a few months after they'd met.
However, problems soon arose. A groupie accused Van Halen of fathering her child, though a
paternity test eventually proved negative. Monk reported in Runnin' With the Devil that
the morning of their wedding day, Van Halen was so drunk that his bride held back his
hair in her wedding dress as he threw up.
Bertinelli insists Van Halen's behavior wasn't the only issue. In her memoir, Losing It,
she wrote,
"The priest we tapped to perform the ceremony gave us questionnaires so he could get to
know us better and offer more personal words. As we filled out the forms at home, we each
held a little vial of cocaine. Now, if you ask me, those are not two people who should
be making decisions about the rest of their lives."
Bertinelli and Van Halen's marriage didn't get any easier over time. When she wasn't
filming One Day at a Time, Bertinelli tried to keep up with her husband's rock star lifestyle
with limited success.
Though Bertinelli eventually gave up partying, Van Halen continued to struggle with cocaine
addiction. Beyond the drugs, they had trouble connecting as they both fulfilled their work
obligations, sometimes apart. In her 2008 interview with Oprah, Bertinelli recalled,
"He had his responsibilities of what he had to do, and I had my responsibilities. And
we thought if you just live in the same house there would be a connection, but no."
Infidelity also played a part, on both sides, and in 2001, the pair separated. Bertinelli
says her motivation was her son. She told Oprah,
"One of the many reasons that Ed and I split up is to give Wolfie a better vision of what
two people who are supposedly in love treat each other like. Ed and I weren't treating
each other like two people that loved each other, and that's what Wolfie was seeing."
Not everyone would feel comfortable inviting their celebrity ex to their wedding. But after
their divorce, Van Halen and Bertinelli wrote their own rules.
In 2009, Van Halen wed Janie Liszewski, with Wolfgang serving as best man and Bertinelli
in attendance.
In 2011, when Bertinelli wed Tom Vitale, Van Halen brought Liszewski to watch the ceremony.
They still had fun together, which was clear in a photo of the two goofing around with
their son on Wolfgang's Instagram.
The pair didn't just support each other through the good times. Bertinelli made sure to visit
Van Halen while he was in treatment for cancer. Bertinelli reportedly fussed over Van Halen's
hair and tried to make sure he was comfortable. Being there for each other even after you've
broken up? That's real love.