Start A Conversation With ANYONE (Including That Cute Girl Next To You) How To Break The
Ice [0:00:00]
You walk in the elevator and there she is, the woman of your dreams.
How do you start the conversation?
You’re walking to the airport and there’s that guy, he’s the CEO of that company you’ve
admired for years and he’s right there waiting for his flight.
How do you start the conversation?
Gentlemen, small talk leads to massive change.
That’s the point of today’s video is to teach you give you ten skills that you can
use to start the conversation with anyone at any place at any time.
[Music] Before I get into the then tips, gentlemen,
let’s talk about why conversation matters.
Number one, human beings are social.
You need to be able to interact with people both for your personal and your professional
life.
Two, for a lot of us it’s not natural.
I’m an introvert.
It takes a lot of energy and it really zaps a lot of strength from me to go out there
and engage with a lot of people, so I like to have a system in place.
And three, if you do it right guys you can actually be empowered, you can feel better
about yourself when you engage in a conversation with others.
There’s a classic study of two groups of people on subways.
One group was told don’t talk to anyone.
The other group was said, you know, engage and talk with the person next to you.
What they found is that people that actually engaged and talked with others felt better
not only about the first few moments after they were having the conversation, but through
their entire day.
So, if you’re having a tough day, just start talking with people, it makes you feel better.
Tip number one to starting a conversation with anyone at any place at anytime, gentlemen
is to practice.
I know, it’s, you know, you want it to be simple, but it’s not going to be, gentlemen.
You’ve got to get out there and practice.
It’s like riding a bike, you can’t read a book while riding a bike.
Watch a whole bunch of videos on riding a bike and think that you can ride a bike, it
doesn’t work that way, gentlemen.
You’ve got to fall down, you are going to go out there and fall flat on your face.
You’re going to start the conversation and it’s just not going to go well, you’re
going to fail.
Guys, that is part of practice, but like riding a bike, you’re going to get better.
You’re going to fall down less often, you’re going to build up the courage and the strength
to continue and to get better.
Now, tip number two.
The start is the win.
It’s not about having a great conversation, it’s simply about starting the conversation.
You started the conversation, you have accomplished mission.
Yes, sometimes it’s going to go better, sometimes it’s not going to go too well,
but if you start, gentlemen, you’ve actually won already.
Tip number three.
Be the guy that starts the conversation.
You have to take the initiative.
You can’t depend on somebody else to start the conversation.
If you are making eye contact with that person, then go over and start talking with them.
Don’t think that they’re going to come over and talk to you.
It happens a lot of times people think, well, he should have started the conversation with
me or she should have – I was hoping that she would come to me.
Guys, be the guy that goes over there and starts the conversation.
Tip number four.
Get their name.
Use their name, remember their name.
Gentlemen, names are important.
People love to hear their name, so make sure when you get their name that you remember
it, you actually respond back to them using their name, use some type of association,
use some type of trick to remember their name.
Like I meet a guy named Jim.
I noticed Jim is 6’4”.
He’s a pretty big guy.
Big Jim, that’s how in my mind I’m going to remember him and I practice saying his
name a few times.
Now, if you’re in a non-social setting, you’re at a business setting, try to get
their business cards.
I find that actually when I take their business card, oftentimes I can l look at it, I then
can put it in my pocket and by saying it by visually seeing it and by having them and
in using that in the conversation, it helps me better remember the names.
Tip number five for starting a great conversation is to smile and assume that they like you.
When you assume that they like you, your body naturally opens up, you become just much more
approachable.
People pick up on this.
When you smile, what happens?
If you see a kid smiling at you, a baby smiling at you, what do you do?
We naturally smile back.
When you smile you feel better.
Use it to your advantage.
Treat people like a friend and all of a sudden, most people are going to mirror that back
and they’re going to start to treat you like a friend and all of a sudden you’ve
got good feelings going between almost complete strangers which leads to like great business
relationships, great personal relationships, and guys is a great way to start the conversation.
Tip number six to starting the conversation is to ask simple light questions.
We’re talking about, hey, you’re going to ask about the weather, how do they get
to the conference, where are they coming from.
Ask them about what do they think so far about the city that they’re visiting.
These are questions which are not going to be probing questions that no one is going
to close up and wander what is this guy’s motive, what is he trying to find out.
Avoid the deep questions.
Avoid, you know, immediately him mentioning he has a company.
Oh, well, what are your revenues what are your profit numbers.
You don’t ask those questions right off the bat.
You want to, you know, just listen to the individual.
And that is tip number seven just listen and then you can ask deeper questions after they’ve
said a few things you can show that you are listening and maybe ask, oh, you are on a
company that’s coming out of Georgia that’s in the design industry, can you tell me a
little more about what type of design.
[0:05:07] And they go deeper and this person all of
a sudden they start to realize, wow, this person is interested in me because everyone
loves it when you’re interested in them.
This person listens to me.
They assume that your interest in them makes you interested and that’s powerful guys
because most people when they go into a conversation, they immediately start talking.
And this is tip eight, don’t talk and hug the conversation.
You know you’ve been in the conversation with five, six people and one guy is talking
90% of the time.
He always has something to say something to brag about.
We all love to talk about ourselves, but don’t be that guy.
Be the one that’s sitting back asking those great questions, not maybe going too deep
keeping it respectful, always trying to make other people sound and look good because then
soon enough, people are going to turn around and say, hey, well, can you tell me a little
bit about you and that is your chance to shine to kind of throw it out there this is when
you put out your elevator pitch at the same time don’t go for more than two minutes.
If you start to go beyond two minutes, then wrap it up and then if other people continue,
hey, no, I want to hear more, can you tell me more about this.
That is what you’re looking for.
Tip number nine for having a great conversation, know when to wrap up the conversation.
All conversations end and you need to have an exit plan because sometimes you’re having
a great conversation.
Other times you’re talking with someone that you really don’t have much in common
with or sometimes worse the conversation goes in direction you don’t really plan and you’re
not interested in this anymore.
Always have a way to exit out.
Now, if you’re in a business situation, you’re talking to four or five people, always
say, hey, I see someone I’ve got to go follow up with, I’m going to go get a drink, I’m
going to go step over and use the bathroom or you don’t have to necessarily say that,
but you’ve got your reasons for stepping out of the conversation.
In a social setting, you want to make sure, okay, you know, you’re talking with a group
of people, you can just simply, again, you spot somebody or you’ve got a place to be.
Finally, tip number ten to wrapping up a great conversation is to make a determination of
who you want to follow up with.
Okay, business is easy, you simply collect everyone’s business cards.
If they don’t have business cards, you simply pull out your phone say, hey, can I get your
information right here, hand them your phone they enter your info – their information
right there, phone number, perhaps e-mail address.
And you can even call them right there to confirm that, hey, we – okay, we’ve got
each other’s information, I’ll follow up with you in twenty four to forty eight
hours because I would love to make an introduction.
Now, social settings are different.
You guys know there’s a lot of games played out there, but I would say that oftentimes
say, can I get your number, let’s stay in touch, I would love to see you this coming
Monday.
So you set actually a time and you’re already talking about it.
Now, guys I know there are games to be played and some of these conversations, you know,
they’re going to go a little bit different path that what I talked.
But, hopefully in this video, you can use these ten tips to take small talk to massive
action because it’s at this small conversations that amazing business partnerships are started,
that great personal relationships that could lead to you being – finding the person that
you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Guys, whatever it is go out there and start the conversation.
Now, it’s your turn, I want to hear from you down in the comments.
How could I have made this video a better one?
What did I miss?
What would you have added to it?
And definitely not – let me know if you got any tips or tricks about getting the phone
number especially for you guys out there in the dating scene.
Now, what actions to take out of this?
One, go grab my free app.
Did you know I have an app that takes my entire website and makes it easy for you to be able
to access on any type of mobile device?
Two, go listen to my podcast.
We’re approaching a hundred episodes.
This is solid content, the Personal Image System Podcast.
I think it’s one of the best kept secrets out there on iTunes.
Guys, and if you’re interested in a free course, the Personal Image Formula.
You go through this course, within thirty minutes you’re going to have the base foundation
to start building your wardrobe.
Gentlemen, that’s it.
Take care.
Hopefully you enjoy this video.
I enjoyed making it and I really do appreciate you guys and take care.
I’ll see you in the next video.
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[Music] [0:09:36] End of Audio