Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink.
Today, we are going to learn about 12 revealing signs of an honest person.
Now, let’s begin.
Benefit of the Doubt Do you give other people the benefit of the
doubt?
Let’s say someone cuts you off in traffic.
Do you get angry?
Or do you let it slide, assuming they made an honest mistake?
Letting people off the hook is a difficult thing to do.
The vast majority of people assume the worst in everyone they meet.
But a select few people—people are honest and secure—give others the benefit of the
doubt.
Why do most of us assume the worst in people?
When you’re feeling defensive or insecure, your opinion of the world around you changes.
Your negative emotions make you pessimistic and self-centered.
You assume the worst, because you can only see things from your narrow perspective.
Honest people, on the other hand, step outside of themselves.
They try to look at the world from the other person’s perspective.
They say to themselves, “maybe they’re having a bad day” or “maybe they just
made a mistake.”
If you want to gauge someone’s personality, look at the way they treat other people.
Are they kind and forgiving?
Do they understand when people make mistakes?
If they do, you’ve found someone who’s honest to their core.
The Story Shuffle Do you know someone who’s stories change
every time you hear them?
If someone is dishonest, they manipulate others by changing the details of their stories.
They oversell their accomplishments.
They exaggerate their successes, and they hide their mistakes.
Why?
Because they want the world to see them as something they’re not.
Honest people have nothing to hide.
They don’t change or manipulate their stories, because they’re not worried about how their
stories make them look.
They’re not ashamed of the truth, so they have no problem telling it like it is.
The Inequality of Power Let’s say your boss shows up late for a
meeting.
When they walk in the room, the first thing they do… is apologize.
You work for them.
They sign your checks; yet your boss apologizes to you for wasting your time.
This can be a revealing sign of genuine integrity.
In positions of power, many people disrespect the time and effort of the people below them.
They overvalue their own resources, because a higher ranking inflates their sense of self-worth.
Even in positions of power, an honest person will respect the time and energy of those
around them.
This kind of integrity is rare, especially in the workplace.
The hierarchy of any corporate environment can reinforce patterns of disrespect.
Bosses frequently undervalue their employees or take advantage of their authority, but
honest people stay true to their personal values.
They couldn’t care less who ranks above whom.
Because respect is universal, no matter how much you get paid.
Outside of the workplace, genuine respect looks a little different.
Say your friend wants to have lunch.
You ask them when they’re available, but they respond, “whenever is convenient for
you.”
A response like this shows both respect and consideration.
This person has taken your life into account, because they value your time as much as they
value their own.
Thick Skin Honest people have thick skin.
They’re rarely offended, because they have confidence in who they are.
Imagine someone makes fun of your wardrobe.
If you’re trying to be something you’re not, you might get angry.
You might lash out.
You’re insecure about the way you look.
And that insecurity makes you defensive.
But what if you like the way you look?
What if your style is honest and genuine?
If you are an honest person, someone else’s opinion isn’t going to hurt your feelings.
A passing comment will not change your opinion of yourself.
Because honest people stay true to their own vision.
They don’t bend to the world around them.
They make their own choices, because an honest person knows exactly who they are.
Social Trust How do you know if someone is trustworthy?
Look at the other people in their life.
Do they have close friends who trust them with their secrets?
Do they have confidantes that turn to them for advice?
Honest people form close bonds with their friends, family, and partners.
They’re consistent sources of support for others, because their honesty has fostered
trusting relationships.
Dishonest people, on the other hand, have lost the trust of others.
They’ve broken promises.
They’ve avoided responsibilities, and they’ve passed the blame more than times than they
can count.
So take a look at their friendships.
If other people trust and believe in them, you’re dealing with an honest person.
Recognizing Mistakes Honest people can make mistakes.
Sometimes, they get angry and lose their temper.
Maybe they say something they don’t mean or let a secret slip when they’re not supposed
to.
Mistakes like these happen to everyone, but how do you react to those mistakes?
What do you do when something goes wrong?
A dishonest person avoids or covers up their mistakes.
They’ll act like nothing happened or pass the blame onto somebody else.
If they yelled at you, for example, they’ll make it seem like you were in the wrong.
But an honest person admits their failures.
They own their weaknesses, because they’re not trying to avoid responsibility.
They know what they did wrong, and they’re secure enough to say it out loud.
Honest people are the first people to say they’re sorry.
They also take action to repair the damage they’ve done.
Because honesty means staying true to yourself, even when you do things you aren’t proud
of.
The Value of Cooperation Dishonest people are competitive with everyone.
They’re constantly trying to one up, outdo, and sabotage the people around them.
But honest people want the best for everyone in their life.
They prioritize cooperation in the workplace.
They’re willing to step out of the spotlight, because they don’t mind letting someone
else shine.
To figure out if someone is an honest person, take a look at the way they work.
If they work well with others, they understand the value of cooperation.
Incomplete Stories Honest people frequently tell unfinished or
half-baked stories.
Why?
Because they don’t plan the things they say.
They tell stories in the moment, even if that means making a few mistakes.
A well-polished, perfectly executed story is easy to follow, but there’s a good chance
it’s rehearsed.
They practiced telling this story; that’s why they’re so good at telling it.
While that’s great on stage, it can be deceptive in a conversation.
A dishonest person chooses a particular story to get a reaction out of their audience.
In other words, they’re trying to manipulate the people they meet.
Honest people may not be the most eloquent storytellers in the world.
Their stories may be full of plot holes.
But mistakes are natural.
Because the truth doesn’t always make perfect sense.
Outward Praise Do they acknowledge your accomplishments?
Toxic, deceptive people downplay your achievements, because your success makes them feel insecure.
Dishonest people need attention and praise to evaluate their self-worth, but an honest
person doesn’t rely on others to judge their value.
You’d be surprised how rare modesty can be.
Far too many people are insecure about who they are.
They don’t know how to evaluate themselves, so they can’t appreciate other people’s
accomplishments.
If we know one thing about honest people, it’s that they are secure in who they are.
They don’t need attention.
They don’t fish for compliments.
Instead, they recognize the people who deserve recognition.
Because they know hard work shouldn’t go unappreciated.
Emotional Expression The way someone speaks reveals important aspects
of their character.
Let’s say your friend is telling an exciting story from their life.
But they don’t say anything about how they feel.
They tell the story like they weren’t even there.
This may be a red flag.
Dishonest people subconsciously remove themselves from their own stories.
Why?
Because they don’t want to be associated with the lies they’re telling.
Even if they’re trying to be convincing, their brains don’t want any part of it.
Honest people involve themselves in their stories.
They express their emotions, thoughts, and personal experiences, because they’re telling
a story that actually happened.
They aren’t worried about telling the truth, because they’re not interested in anything
else.
Selfless Service It’s rare for people to volunteer their
services out of the goodness of their heart.
Most of the time, people say they’re helping others when they’re really helping themselves.
This is a very common form of deception.
Many dishonest individuals take advantage of the people in their lives.
They trick their friends and family with small acts of kindness only to push their own agenda.
But honest people don’t expect anything in return.
They don’t volunteer their services to earn something for themselves; they choose to help
people because they want to be useful.
They want to make their lives easier.
They want to make the world a better place.
Just because someone does you a favor doesn’t mean you owe them anything.
If you know someone who volunteers out of the good of their heart, you’ve found yourself
an honest person.
Genuine Care Do you know someone who crosses the line?
Someone who calls you names or hurts your feelings?
Deceptive people push too hard.
They hurt people’s feelings and criticize even their closest friends.
Why?
Because they don’t respect anyone but themselves.
Honest people respect your physical and emotional boundaries.
They’re not trying to attack you or take advantage of you.
Instead, they encourage and support you.
They don’t push your buttons or criticize your lifestyle, because they care about how
you feel.
They want you to be happy.
In other words, when an honest person says they care about you, they actually mean it.
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