Transcriber: Antara Pattar Reviewer: Emma Gon
Do you know the secret behind a TED talk?
There is no secret.
Just like TED creator Chris Anderson said to share your idea,
you create new brain connection with other people.
That’s how your idea spreads and that’s why we are here today.
There are plenty of books about talk.
They have a great website with all their information,
of course, the TED Commandments:
“Thou Shalt Not Simply Trot Out thy Usual Stick.”
So when I was asked five weeks ago to share what’s behind a talk,
I was hesitant because of that rule.
So to me it happened, what happened to so many others
who came to me wanting to walk the talk.
It’s a process, it’s a journey to this day.
There’s no hidden success template or structure, just helpful elements.
Starting with, why do you want to give a talk and what’s your topic?
Well, I was asked to. That’s one idea worth spreading to me.
So, I got a coach to mirror me, honest and fair,
sticking me to the rules.
Nearly a decade ago, I applied for talk and I didn’t make it to the red dot.
By now, I can see why. I wasn’t authentic, it wasn’t me.
I had no real connection to my topic.
Instead of pleasing others, sharing their idea,
proving myself I could at that time.
But since then, I've convinced myself my value is behind the scenes.
That became my truth. To help how to tell a story.
Tonality that makes a difference, power spots on a stage,
body language to use and which to avoid.
How to structure what you want to say, engaging with all audiences.
But again, it’s not an idea worth spreading to me.
But while being here,
how about the fear of public speaking?
Well.
If you have something valuable to share,
don’t stay selfish by keeping it all to yourself.
Give.
Well.
It’s all a journey, it’s a journey to this day, it’s a process to be here.
But if you have something valuable, just give.
Over the days, my inner critic
started to give me all reasons to stay selfish.
Picture perfect started the self-doubt attack.
But I’m sure that only happened to me, of course.
Am I sharing my idea or am I boosting my ID, identity?
Is this the right stage? Is this the the right timing?
Isn’t it too late? Too early? Why am I here?
Well, because my heart told me so, sorry inner critic.
But my hesitance has another root.
It’s May 2019 as I notice I’m getting deaf.
And to my surprise, I need to be checked at a hospital.
You have a brain tumor, but don’t you worry,
it’s benign and very rare.
When I hear tumor, I find it very hard to keep listening
and that’s not because of tumor, but because the order of the words.
But anyhow, in August, quickly after surgery, I’m back to work.
I only lost 50% of my hearing capacity, so I can continue as before, I thought.
In December, I noticed having trouble
speaking, swallowing,
half of my tongue is already out of function.
The reason - this tumor pressing cranial nerves, no surgery possible.
How on earth can I work with people on their speaking
if I lose my capacity to speak? I have to do something.
So in the first week of total lockdown in the Netherlands in 2020,
I start my 25 sessions of daily radiotherapy
alone, far away from home to sterilize the tumor.
No more spreading, that’s the idea.
But after that, side effects are there, too.
Brain fog, short term memory loss, articulation difficulties, aphasia,
fatigue, 100% deafness on this side, just to name a few.
And brain rehab improved a lot even till today, but am I back yet?
That’s no inner critic, that’s reality.
I know I will never return at my former level of out performance,
nor do I want to be the old me. It’s not who I am now.
I still have my voice, I live with a talk today, now.
Do I have the energy? Can I memorize and prepare?
Can I just be authentic and still access my skills? No guarantee.
And that’s a scary and vulnerable place to step into.
So why am I here really?
I’m here to share with you
what seemed impossible for me any longer.
To walk my talk, to engage with all of you
and go beyond, go beyond the prognosis of my own imagination.
I let my heart tell me what to say today.
Over the years, I worked with hundreds of people from all over the world.
The climate worriers and warriors, technicians, soldiers, sailors, singers.
The stroke rebel reclaiming her life.
The boys saving lives with sheltersuits.
The introvert on her power shoes
and the commander who rather went to a Mars mission than giving a talk.
To see all other speakers here today, daring bravely to share their ideas,
connect with you globally.
Till so far, I agree with Chris Anderson.
You know, our brains connect through our words,
but are missing one thing addressed in the TED Commandments.
I say nowadays, presentations, keynotes, talks
must have more than brain connections.
Do you know, only our hearts connect at the deepest level with others first,
even before our brain does?
So, let my gift be today for you.
Combine your heart and mind by taming your inner critic
and let your heart speak freely first.
So no matter what your idea worth spreading is,
only if we feel you through your heart,
then you truly walk your talk.
(Applause)