Happy Birthday Mom! Raise the roof, it's my birthday. Mom your birthday celebrates not
only you coming into this world but also marks one more year that I don't know how old you are.
If there was one thing that was not up for discussion when I was growing up it was your
age. I am able to ballpark just a little bit because one clue that you and dad did offer
me was that you milady are the older one. To which dad would likely say, 'She was a
fox and a cougar. High-five myself.' So maybe it had something to do with the unconventional
age gap that you and dad had but either way it was just something that was never discussed
which reminds me of Voltaire. Say what? French philosopher Voltaire once said that, 'A woman
can keep but one secret and that is her age.' That is rich you naughty fellow you. I couldn't
find any studies or data to determine whether or not women like you keeping their age a
secret is the norm. With online dating, older women do tend to lie about their age although
it might not be lying outright about the number, it might be lying in the terms of putting
up a picture from five years ago so look younger. All of which points to the fact that yeah
it makes sense mom that you are a little cagey about your age because when it comes to women
in our society it is youth and fertility that are lauded above everything else. As say dad
gets older he becomes more distinguished. Darn tootin'. Whereas when women get older
we become less desirable. Speak for yourself honey. And I could go off on some kind of
evolutionary psychology and biology tangent about fertility and reproduction but I will
save you that and say unfortunately yes, even though we're living longer than ever before,
ageism is still alive and well and in the gendered sense of all of that asking a woman's
age outright is still a social taboo. Mom your whole thing about not wanting to disclose
your age never made sense to me when I was a kid but the older I get the more I am starting
to realize a little bit where you were coming from. It's odd experiencing this transition
from being a young woman about town to being a little bit of an older and more settled
woman. Not to say I don't still have fun, I have plenty of fun Mom, I swear. There is
this weird social thing that starts getting in your head of saying, 'Oh are those crow's
feet coming in, oh are those gray hairs?' And the thing that I would wish for you on
your birthday Mom, go ahead and say how old you are. And own it because as my father will
certainly confirm, you are a wonderful, beautiful, attractive woman of any age. And maybe by
you embracing your age and being more open about it it can inspire other women to say
your number and it really not mean much of a thing except that you are getting AARP benefits.
So once again Mom happy birthday, thank you for being alive and thank you also for giving
me the excuse to now eat some cake. [Singing]. Happy Birthday to you, Mom. However old you
are it doesn't really matter because I love you anyway. Oh that's good. Save some for
me. Mmmm, delicious. Happy birthday mom.