Oh, Mom, you're going to look so good for your date.
All right, here we go.
I think that should just about do it.
What do you think?
Can't see the TV.
I don't want to live with her.
Ugh, Mom, why not?
She smells.
I know she smells.
OK, you can't talk about my mom like that.
You don't smell, and you look beautiful.
Oh, Mom, you want to take a look at that fan
and see if you can fix it?
[GRUNTS]
Mm.
What was that?
It means, not right now, but there's a possibility that I
could get to it tomorrow.
I think what Charlie's mom is trying
to say is that Mrs. Mac has a unique and earthy fragrance.
I smell like shit.
[BLEEP] you.
That's a joke.
We will beep that, I think.
Yeah, we'll beep that, and that'll be funny.
You know, let me just try and put some of this--
Buzz off!
That's good.
Buzz off.
You know, that's like a callback, which
could become a catchphrase.
You should probably think of a few more,
so you're not just too one note.
What about, I can't even, or, that went well?
I'm going to take a shit.
That's not a good catchphrase.
What do you guys know about smuggling heroin
through your anus?
Hello.
Dad, they did let you out.
Oh my god.
Don't touch me.
Right, right.
That's how it goes.
Hey, hey, come meet my friends.
Guys, this is my dad.
Right.
Hey, Dad, Dad, doesn't Mom look pretty?
No.
Oh boy.
Maybe you want to regale us with a story
from prison or my childhood?
Mm-mm.
Oh my.
You were in prison?
Yeah.
You know, this is very interesting, Luther.
Now that you and my mother are opening up a bit of dialogue
here, I don't know if you've taken
any time out of your dinner to notice her ample breasts.
- What? - What?
Well, the man's been in prison for a long time.
He probably needs a woman.
But, Luther, what you may or may not have known
is that my mother happens to be one hell of a whore
of a man-stealing woman.
Now you listen to me.
Do not come back here without anything up those asses.
Bonnie, I'll call you sometime.
No!
I love you, and I-- oh, I love you.
I love you, Dad.
I love you. He can't hear me because this--
Oh, he definitely heard you. His ear was--
The glass is too thick.
Yo, Mac, is that your cousin, Brett, by the jukebox?
Oh yeah.
Let's go say hey.
Yo, Bretty boy.
Hey, cuz.
Hey, how you doing?
What's up, Brett?
I'm really proud of you, man.
Yeah, thanks.
You've come a long way.
What do you mean?
You guys are running the hottest
gay bar in Philadelphia.
- Country Mac. - Hey.
City Mac.
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH SWISHING]
Holy shit, there's two of them.
Well, whatever it is, we got to get on the same page.
Otherwise we're going to have to do it over and over and over.
He jumped. That's it.
He jumped, guys. He jumped.
The day's over.
The day's over. Country Mac is gone.
He's dead.
Let's get out of here. - Look.
Look, look, look?
- Wh-- what? - Whoa.
- Holy shit. - Ha ha.
Oh--
Oh, wow.
--my god.
Oh.
Hell no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[YELLING]
Country Mac lived a reckless life.
Oh, wow.
I love that guy.
Aw, look at him go.
He's really badass.
Where's he going?
I mean, the fact that we don't know where he's going
makes them all the more badass.
Right?
Uh-oh, whoops. - Oopsie.
Ah, he fell, huh?
Tipped over a little bit.
Ooh.
Hmm.
He's probably OK, though, right?
Well, yeah, he just popped over.
Little-- little-- little bump.
He's fine.
He's good, he's good, he's good, he's good, he's good.
[SWISHING]
Yo, got your dog.
Poppins.
Hey, buddy.
How you doing?
Poppins?
My god, I can't believe that dog's not dead.
Didn't you get him when you were like 10?
Oh yeah.
This dog is indestructible, dude.
Dog looks like a gargoyle.
Yeah.
He smells like piss.
He might have emphysema, man.
Oh, that's entirely possible.
Yeah, it wouldn't slow him down, though.
No, he's a survivor.
By the way, you're going to want
to keep him away from that cream,
too, because he'll eat that shit.
Yeah, he ate a whole bottle of shampoo
at our apartment earlier.
He loves shit like that.
Look behind you, asshole.
Oh.
[GASPS] You got me a dog?
Oh my god, he's so cute.
I mean, he's no Poppins but--
Yeah, he's a lot better than Poppins.
What was in that trash bag?
Poppins.
What?
Well, he ate a lot of cold medicine, and he croaked.
Yeah--
I'm sorry.
--he got into some cold medicine, sorry.
So you threw him in the trash?
Yeah, look, what are you going to do, send him to the moon?
Right? I mean, come on.
Well, no, I want to have a proper burial for him.
Let me see--
Seemed proper enough, for Poppins.
Yeah.
Oh no.
He's fine. - What?
He's fine?
Yeah, he's just sitting here chowing down on a diaper.
Hey, look at him.
Ha.
Look at that dog.
[INAUDIBLE].
There you go.
Good boy.
That dog just does not die.
[MUSIC PLAYING]