[intro song]
Hey guys! Today I have a video for you that I have been
planning to make for a very long time.
But apparently I never had the time or I forget to do it.
Mmm... But you love me soo...
SO! [cough]
What am I talking about today?
Today...I...am...talking about...
how to start using they pronouns for someone else that you know.
Umm...
It's... this isn't a video like how to start using 'they' pronouns for yourself,
I mean I guess this could apply...
Umm...
But...I recently have... umm...
gotten a lot of... no.
A lot of people in my life recently have... umm..
started using 'they' pronouns.
So I'm gonna explain what it means and... umm...
How you can start getting used to using 'they' pronouns..
for the people you love.
There you go that's the topic. There you go that makes more sense.
So! What is a 'they' pronoun?
Like what [unclear taking]...
What are you talking about?
[high pitched] Umm!
Sorry I had grapes right before I started making this video
so I'm a little bit hyper OLOLOLOLO!!
[high pitched laugh]
Pronouns! Umm... [high pitched hihi fading into a low laugh]
So 'they'!
What does it mean? So usually in society
women are 'she' and and... 'her' and men are 'he' and 'him'.
But... there are squiggly lines all over the place
there are people who prefer different types of pronouns
no matter how they present, no matter how the look, how they feel
so... I think it's super cool and interesting that more and more people
are either using 'they' as a pronoun
so instead of saying 'he' or 'she' you would say 'they' and 'theirs'.
Umm...
like 'he/him', 'they/theirs'. Umm?
It really not that complicated but yet people seem to make a huge deal about it.
So I think that's why I want to make this video to just literally show you how easy it is
to just switch. It does take time!
But you can still do it.
It's not a "I can never do that!"
Cis please.
So what types of people use 'they' pronouns?
Umm... well...
It could be anyone! It could be you.
But you playin'.
No but for real it could be anyone.
So I have friends who identify as non-binary.
So they identify outside of the gender binary.
Umm... Like exclusively male or exclusively female.
As an example I am a very binary trans guy.
As in I tend to be and present more masculine.
Although, you know, people always say that but like
I guess I sort of feel like that, like I am binary
but I really don't feel like that. I mostly feel like a squiggle like
I guess you could consider me non-binary
but I don't identify that way.
So I mean wha- I just say I'm trans
like to me that's just, that's just me, that's how I identify.
But. Umm...
There are trans people that use non-binary...? non-binary?
There are trans people that use 'they' pronouns, there are non-binary people who use 'they' pronouns
That is not to say that trans people are not non-binary
or non-binary people aren't trans.
Please, people keep like putting things in my mouth
I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that some people like to
separate it some people like it together so I'm just going to make everyone happy and
just everything. Okay? Umm...
And then there are just people who... umm... are
just queer and just prefer the pronoun 'they'
and then there are just some people who really don't like
like 'her' and 'she' pronouns and they go with 'they', like
it could literally be anyone.
So I feel like the more people start
expressing their
pronouns to other people, more people will start to understand them.
And more people will be like: "Oh I would also prefer that,
I didn't know that was an option" or "I didn't know that other people would be cool with that".
So I think that it's cool to like get it out there and get more people to talk about it
and stuff like that, so that's why I'm making this video.
Plus, I'm going to share a couple of tricks withcha.
So even me
as Chase Ross
okay, who is so open-minded and like
whatever you do with your life it's you I'll respect you.
You'll tell me your pronouns are 'he' I'll call you 'he' right away.
Like there's no... the switch in my head is super easy.
But, I will say
that when I started to get umm...
there's someone close in my life who now uses 'they' pronouns all the time.
And I will say that it was very very very very very hard
for me, I'm being really dramatic, it was hard for me to switch pronouns.
And umm... they weren't around a lot at first
so when I was talking to someone about them
I would accidentally slip and use a different pronoun
and then I would only realise later, I was like oh shit I shouldn't've done that.
And then it started to be slow where I like would
would say it and then I would catch myself right away and be like oh my god 'they'!
So it was a gradual process for me
but I think that...
[Aiaihaih] the number one thing I want people to understand is that
it's, it's, even when you transition and you tell your parents, I'm going to use 'he' now
you can't expect them to do it overnight, okay?
You're allowed to be angry, all of your feelings are valid 100%.
But it's also like an understanding of this is how we were all socialised.
To...
Umm, to like only know 'he' and 'she' pronouns.
So when someone comes at you with a 'they'
not that I'm saying that they're like
"People are assholes being assholes to you, you should just deal with it 'cause it takes time".
That's not what I'm saying!
I'm saying you're allowed to be pissed off.
Umm...
And I'm saying that it also takes some people some time
to adjust.
And I think that for me, I'm taking about my personal experience because
the way, and this is the trick
that I have found and it works for me and now I never slip up.
Umm...
In your head you say the person's name
and then you say their pronouns. So
The person that I'm referring to did not change their name, just their pronouns
so lets say that this person's name is... umm... Leslie.
Okay? Lets go with a gender neutral name just because the other, I don't want to say the person's name.
I don't know if they're comfortable like the internet knowing about all this stuff.
So in my head I would go "Leslie they. Leslie they. Leslie they".
And every single time their name would pop up or their face would pop up in my head
or I would see them on my computer screen, on facebook, anywhere: they.
That would be the first thing I would say. Theytheytheytheytheythey.
And then I would just repeat it: they, they, they, they, Leslie, they, Leslie, they, they.
And it... I know it gets... sounds ridiculous okay.
But it works. And it works for me like so much.
And it was very hard for me to accept it like, why can't I just get it?
Why can't it just stick?
I just didn't understand why it wasn't sticking together.
And like, I'm like, I...how...can I be so
open and stuff like that yet I can't get one person's pronouns.
So that's why I was like no!
Leslie they. Leslie they. Let-t-t-t-t-t-they.
Always. And then eventually I was able to just do it.
And it was fantastic.
And it was...
really cool to see my brain change that way.
And now I don't slip up.
But I will say one thing.
I think that a lot of the issues that I was having
was because a lot of the people I was talking to about this person, if they ever came up in conversation
did not know that they used 'they' pronouns.
So I think that
my issue was, do I out them, do I tell the person they use 'they' pronouns
like if I'm talking to their family what do I do?
So that's the part where it's like a very grey line.
It's a grey area. Umm... because if I'm talking to their family
I have to use their old pronouns.
Umm... and it feels so dirty.
I feel so dirty using those pronouns.
And I try so hard to like avoid it.
But they've told me like just use those pronouns with my family and these people who don't know.
And I'm like okay?!
And it's just like, oooh, it's just hard.
So in my head it's like 90% 'they' and then the 10% other, it's like I have to...
So it can be a little bit tricky.
Umm...but...
It is worth it. And...
It is, It was 100% worth it. I'm not complaining by the way.
I don't know if that looks like I'm complaining, I'm not.
It was 100% worth it for me to do all of that work inside my head.
And I would even say theytheythey out loud, when I was alone of course, not outside in public.
Like I'm on my phone walking to work: theytheytheythey!
[super high pitched laugh, that suddenly ends]
What I'm saying is that it was worth it. It was 100% worth it.
Because I respect this person a lot.
And obviously I want to show them respect
so by using the pronouns that they prefer
like obviously I'm respecting them.
So... it is just a little bit tricky for some people who like, don't know
and I'm just like using 'they' pronouns and I... I look at their face and they look at me like
are you talking about multiple people?
And I'm like, no, I'm talking about one person but like
Aaaaaah, just aaah it's a little bit...
So now... this video became about what, one specific person?
I didn't want that to happent but it did.
But I do have some other friends who do identify or... as non-binary
and use they pronouns.
Umm... by the way not everyone who is non-binary uses 'they' pronouns.
Let me just put that one out there again just in case somebody just put something in my mouth.
Why would you put something in my mouth?
Put words in my mouth? That's what I'm looking for.
And an other thing that you can do is have like an open and honest conversation with the person about
am I allowed to tell other people?
'Cause I don't wanna use your old pronouns.
Because that's disrespectful to you but they don't know.
Do I tell them? How do I tell them?
So I think having an honest and open conversation about that with that person
might show the person that you really do care and you realy don't want to mess up.
Umm... and even like oh how do I talk about you in the past?
And stuff like that. That's also important.
Especially, I feel like, any type of pronoun that...that switches, right.
So if you are a trans guy and you use 'he' pronouns now
Umm...
But people in your life still use like "Oh when SHE was younger SHE was the...", No.
That's not cool.
So I think that having that conversation with anyone who like 'switch around the pronoun'...
SWITCH AROUND DA PRONOUN!
Copyright Chase Ross don't steal that from me. [laughs]
I'm kidding.Sorry, the sugar is like up here and I have like nine videos to film today. Bless.
So you have everything for the next two months from me.
Because I'm busy.
So my hair will be like different colours. The usual.
Cause I feel like people look at my videos and then they look at my social media
and they're like "Why is you hair pink and then in the video it's green but you posted them both today
I don't understand?" So that's it, that's the secret.
Umm alright that's it, that's all I got for this.
Let me know what you think. If you have any other tricks please let me know
'cause this is the trick...
I really only needed one or two tricks that have absolutely helped me.
And it's exciting stuff to be able to talk about this openly with other people
especially the internet.
And I wanna open up this conversation to other people who might not know about 'they' pronouns
or non-binary identities and stuff like that.
So! Yeah, alright! I will see you soon and don't forget to like, comment... I can't.
I can't say that with a straight face. I can't. I can't promote myself like that.
But for real though, if you want like reviews and...cool things...
and my face with dyed hair...
then subscribe
Okay love you bye!
[outro song]