*cheery strings music play*
That's not how you fold the towels.
It doesn't matter how you fold a towel.
It does matter how you fold a towel. If you want it to fit in the closet, you have to roll it.
*loud crunch* Oh my God could you chew any louder?
*louder crunch*
This goes on here. It takes two seconds.
Well...Then the next person who comes in will do it.
That's not the point.
Hey did you throw away my left overs?
No.
I coulda swo-- ohh you bitch.
What did you call me?
Nothing.
The toilet paper goes over. It's printed that way so you could see it.
No. The toilet paper goes under so that the cats don't get at it.
That makes no sense.
What do you want to get for dinner?
I don't really care.
The just pick something.
You choose.
Told ya!
Shut up.
I don't see why I have to put the utensils face down
Because when they're sticking up like that, if someone trips and falls, they're going to impail themselves and die.
That's literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
I'm not playing this game where I list every single thing and you shoot it all down. I'm not doing this again.
Well then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh my gosh watch this! This is the best line.
Did you watch this without me?
You weren't home!
*mug clanks* Seriously?! 6 more inches and it's in the sink.
Well then put it in 6 more inches. *heavy sigh* Get it?
I get it.
Anything will be fine.
Fine. Fine! Alright! We're gonna get... pizza It's food.
Anything but pizza. *phone slams on table*
What do you wanna eat?
That is Bill Paxton!
It is Bill Pullman.
Bill Paxton was in Aliens.That is Bill Paxton. That is him. Game over, man. That is that man right there.
Why am I gonna put them away? I'm wearing them tomorrow morning.
I don't care if you're wearing them tomorrow morning. I don't want them just sitting by my side of the bed all night.
Why do you do this?! You squeeze from the bottom. The next person doesn't have to squeeze then.
It's toothpaste. It's not like it's hard to squeeze it from a new area on the tube
Why are we fighting about this?
Why are we fighting about this?!... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... made you make the decision. With that being said, I think your original call of pizza is fine... Just no pepperoni.
*cheery strings music*
What do you want on it then?
Anything other than pepperoni.
Oh my God! I'm going to murder you and when the pizza guy gets here, he's going to help me bury your body and then we're going to get married.
No, he won't 'cause he'll probably be like "Yeah I feel you, bro."