Someone out there is looking for
exactly what you have to offer.
So, today, I'm going to be discussing
five tips that
you're not ready for true love,
keep watching.
(Music)
Hey, it's Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks
and today we're going to be discussing
five tips
that you're not ready for
true love, all right.
People everywhere talk about
they want real love,
they want to experience
this amazing thing,
but the fact remains that
you're not in proper position
and not really ready for it.
So, I'm going to lay it out for you
so that you can understand
what are the issues
that need to be resolved and addressed
in order for you to receive
that true love that you say you desire.
Now, before we get into that be sure
to like this video,
subscribe to the channel,
click that bell next to the subscribe button
so that you can get the notification for my videos
as well as,
I might have said it already,
share the video.
Whatever, if I said it already, do it again.
But also, we're going to do a poll.
I love doing polls.
Below I want you, yes or no to tell me
do you believe in true love, all right.
Now, again I know that may sound like a silly question.
But some of you don't some of you do.
Let's see, let's see what the numbers are.
So, again, below comment yes or no
do you believe in true love?
Now, one more thing before we get
into the five tips
you're not ready for true love is my book
Finding Love After Heartbreak.
This is a very important book
it's probably one of my most
like, the book I'm probably most proud about
because of how impactful it will be in your life.
It's going to help lay, help you with the
healing process it lays out this
various specific steps to healing.
It really breaks down hurt
and how we overcome that, how we process it,
it's not just about
heartbreak from a relationship,
it's any hurt you've experienced in your life.
Mother, father, siblings, friends, you name it.
If you're holding on to the negative
energy from the past,
this is the book that will set you free. So,
click the link in the comment section,
click the link in the description
get your copy of
"Finding Love After Heartbreak".
Now, let's move along
to the five tips
you're not ready for true love.
So, tip number one,
you don't believe true love exists.
Listen, the reality is that
if you don't believe it,
you can't receive it.
So, your perception
and your negative thoughts of love
are creating a negative environment in your life
They're creating a negative energy
that you're now putting out into the universe.
You're sending that signal to even God
and you're saying well,
I don't believe in this thing
this isn't for me it doesn't exist.
So, why is it going to come your way?
And even if it came your way
you won't believe it when it's staring you in the face.
You're going to question everything
about it because to you
real love, true love
does not exist.
So, you could have found love and yet
you're like, no this can't be it,
no this is too good to be true
you are going to convince yourselves of
all the reasons why
this can't be what it actually is.
So, you have to believe
in order to receive.
Tip number two
that you are not ready
for true love
is that you are too controlling.
So, here is the thing,
when we become very controlling in our lives,
it is a symptom of fear and hurt from the past.
The only reason why you insist
on having your hands on everything
is because you trust nothing,
you trust no one to deal with it for you.
You don't trust
that you can be vulnerable and
open and allow this things
to come into your life.
You don't trust that life itself
can flow in a way
that you're going to be happy and receive
amazing things from it.
So, you try to control every
aspect of your life.
And you try to control your relationships
you try to control the people you're
in relationships with.
And you may think
it's all good, but again,
it's because you have walls up,
it's because you haven't healed,
and if you have not healed then guess what,
real love can't come your way
or when it does you will push it away,
you will run from it.
So, be honest with yourself,
if you are a very controlling person,
if you insist on having so much control,
then you are setting yourself up for failure
and you have to become more vulnerable
if you want true love to come your way.
So, tip number three
why you're not ready for true love,
is you're not willing to put in the work
plain and simple. Listen,
if we want an amazing relationship,
if we want an amazing love,
there is work that we need to do.
This idea that we're just entitled
to this amazing romantic relationship
and I stress the word romantic because yes,
we all deserve to be loved,
but love can come from kids,
from co-workers from anyone.
And I will argue that every last one of you,
you are loved by someone
and if you don't know that person in your life,
I love you, God loves you.
So, someone does love you,
but what you desire
is a romantic love.
A romantic relationship and that
has some conditions that come with it.
That comes with work,
that comes with really looking within yourself
and making sure that you're
exuding the qualities that,
that partner that you want in your life
will want in you.
That's making sure that
you have set the table
for that partner to come in your life
and for things to
be able to flow together
for there to proper harmony
in that relationship
There's a lot of things that
we have to look at and evaluate
to make sure it's what it
needs to be if we want love.
So, if you're unwilling to do that
if you're unwilling to take
constructive criticism,
if you're unwilling to make adjustments in your life
then you're not ready, you're not.
Because if you are, if you want something
bad enough you got to be willing to work for it
and yes, that includes relationships.
So, the love may come easy
like you might come across
someone who loves you,
who desires to be with you in a relationship,
but the ability to have a relationship with you,
a healthy successful one
is going to be contingent
on the work you
and that individual
is willing to put into it.
So,
be willing to embrace that
and consider
what do I need to do
to now receive the love,
maintain the love, nurture the love,
and take it to the level that it
deserves to go to.
So, again,
we have you got to believe it to receive it,
we got you're too controlling,
we got that
you're not willing to put in the work.
Tip number four
that you're not ready for true love is
you haven't healed from the past.
So, I kind of mentioned it briefly
earlier in one of the other tips, but
healing is extremely important.
And again if you know me if you follow me
then you know I'm all about healing.
That is what needs to happen
without it you're going to
set yourself up for
so many problems. So, again,
that's one of the reasons why I want you to get the book
Finding Love After Heartbreak because
it lays out specific steps
on how to heal
but understand something
when you haven't healed
you are by my estimation
99.9% likely
to end up choosing
the wrong person to be with, all right.
Is not that it's impossible
for you to still end up in the right place,
but it's extremely unlikely
it's extremely difficult
because as I mentioned earlier before,
when you haven't healed,
you're not even going to trust
that great thing that's staring you in the face.
When you haven't healed you're going to
allow your insecurities and other
deeper issues to come to the surface
and derail that relationship.
You're going to have a
very hard time being vulnerable
and without vulnerability
you cannot experience true love.
You can't experience that real love
that you desire.
So, you've got to be
very mindful of that and again,
be honest with yourself about
what am I still holding on to?
What are the areas I need to heal in my life?
So, one quick thing
I'm going to tell you about healing
that's in the book
Finding Love After Heartbreak
is one of the first steps I give
and I want to give it to you so that you can get
the ball rolling in the right direction.
When you get a chance, I
want you to get a piece of paper
and on that piece of paper, I want you to write down
who hurt me?
And then ask yourself that question
who hurt me?
And now, every person who comes to mind
write them on the paper.
It doesn't matter if you think it's insignificant,
it doesn't matter if you think, well, this happened
so long ago, whatever.
If they come to mind when you
ask yourself that question,
they belong on that paper.
And then write two sentences
of what they did to hurt you.
This is a starting point
in your healing process.
This is going to allow you to start to see
where is the pain coming from,
where is the resentment coming from,
where is the fear coming from?
And now we can start to attack
each one individually
and properly resolve it
because you may have moved past it,
but you didn't resolve anything
and it's still there,
it's lingering and it's going to create
bigger problems. So,
a lack of healing is definitely a tip
or a sign that you are not ready
for true love. So, if you really want it
let's get that healing going,
let's make that happen.
And the last tip
that you're not ready
for true love
is that you run from the best.
Now, what do I mean by that?
I mean that
when you have not healed,
when you have not put in the work,
when you are that controlling person,
all these things we've mentioned
already in this video.
You will not be able to embrace
being with the person
who makes you love the hardest,
who brings out of you a powerful love, desire,
vulnerability that is unlike anyone else.
That person is going to be
a struggle to be with.
So, what I see happen
and this can happen with men or with women,
but I'm going to use the example with women.
I’ve seen women where they
come across that amazing great man,
when I say amazing great man
I don't mean
your friends think he's great,
I think he's great, someone else thinks he's great.
No, I'm talking about you,
you yourself,
view him as an amazing, great man.
And you start to wonder,
well, why is he with me?
This is too good to be true.
How can I trust this?
It starts to make you very uncomfortable.
If you're a controlling person,
you can't control that kind of guy, all right.
You know, if you're a person
who doesn't want to put work in,
that kind of guy holds you
to a higher standard.
So, these things, start to expose
the issues that I already mentioned
and really make it
or put it at the forefront.
And now,
if you are not comfortable
conquering these things,
and if you haven't healed,
you are not going to be,
then you know what you're going to do, you're going to run,
you're either going to run,
or you're going to self-sabotage
the situation.
So, you are going to struggle with
being with the best, but guess what,
you will have no problem
being with second best,
or third best or fourth best.
So, you're going to find that guy or that girl
who's good enough to be with,
but they don't take you there.
They don't really push you to that next level.
So, it's a lot more comfortable
to deal with it
than it is to deal with that person
who is that amazing man or woman
who is the best person for you.
And that is a clear cut sign
that you are not ready for true love.
So, I know this is a lot to digest.
This is a lot to take in and
this may have been a punch
to the gut, all right?
But again, everything I say to you is with love
and I want you to be aware
of the pitfalls
and the things that you
need to be working on
if you want true love in your life.
So, again, get your copy of
Finding Love After Heartbreak
it's going to help you immensely.
Click the link in the description,
click the link in the comment section
you're going to love it.
You can see the reviews on Amazon as well
everyone who's read it so far
has had nothing but
amazing things to say about it.
Also, as always
be sure to like the video,
subscribe to my channel,
click the notification bell,
and again, take the poll.
Do you believe
in true love yes or no?
Comment below
and I look forward to seeing you
in the next video.
(Music)