2020 has made me feel emotional
from abroad i wake up getting dressed to
go nowhere learning to be my own boss as
i go through this transition of working
from home
and no matter if you're off social media
or not
news gets to you one way or another
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but after sundays one thing stays the
same
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rice
missing home has been a big thing
worried about family and friends their
health and
if they can keep their jobs the debates
are happening now and anxiety
is running high
good morning everybody so this video is
sponsored by
baksu which is actually a japanese snack
subscription box
the people that created this box work
with 100 year old companies family owned
companies
to bring you berry gourmet japanese
snacks and i haven't had a japanese
subscription box in a really long time
so
we're gonna open the one that i got
because i'm excited to see what's inside
just a quick look with my husband and a
little bit of a taste test
boxy delivers to you the taste of japan
since the world is in quarantine
this might be the perfect box for you
especially if you can't travel
it has japanese snacks and tea pairings
and every month you get a themed box and
first-time customers get the seasons of
japan boxes so you can taste
every season of japan and their go-to
snacks
i loved how the pamphlet mentioned all
the snacks in the box where they came
from
and allergy information which is great
for me so let's quickly find out what's
inside
before we move on with this video um
that's gonna be
in my stomach oh my gosh aomori looks
like a soft
cookie i lived in five different places
in japan so a lot of these snacks were
super nostalgic for me because they came
from
everywhere in japan so i was extremely
excited
don't mind me yes it's like a taiyaki
chocolate
these are so good looking at the origin
of each snack and where it came from
was really fun for us and i loved how
they had the allergy information
unfortunately i couldn't eat everything
but my husband was super happy
to eat a lot of these snacks and have
them in the house because we don't
usually buy too many snacks so
he's gonna eat all of them and i'm gonna
probably drink the tea and eat some of
the sugary snacks but other than that
this box was full of amazing foods i
feel like it's a great purchase
get ten percent off of your authentic
japanese snack box from baksu in
the link in my description below
looking at my country from afar is eye
opening you see the bigger picture
oh no come back
man so cute oh no when i was growing up
social media wasn't a thing
but now that it is our voices are heard
much louder than before
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don't get me wrong it's a good thing in
order to make a change we need to be
loud a storm happens before the calm
it's necessary
witnessing it from the outside can be
harsh but i'm grateful i can stay
connected to
my family during this tough time with
the use of
technology we're at skytree right now
there's a shopping center called solo
machi
and we're actually looking for a place
to eat there's a matcha cafe
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we're talking about the situation with
the coronavirus right now and eugene was
telling well i kind of agree though
because
yeah there's no restrictions here like
they're not even doing social distancing
anymore some place is still doing it but
rarely like i actually noticed it's not
really reinforced there's actually like
zero restrictions here i mean even like
look at halloween like halloween was
chaos people were out just to be out
there were no costumes nobody was
wearing a single costume there were like
maybe
a few people that wore costumes but
everybody was just out to be
out as for the recent strong emotions
i've been feeling out of nowhere
it goes deeper than just the virus and
debates which
i will get to in this video in a moment
but when it comes to feeling strong
emotions like sadness or fear
that's okay it comes in waves living
abroad oh my gosh look like i'm crying
i'm very emotional today there's just a
lot going on and
the pandemic is i think making us all
feel
a little off i need some fresh air and
we need to explore i like walking and
seeing new things and
i think that that'll help my mood a
little bit
our emotions are messengers of the soul
they tell us important information in
order to make shifts in our lives
so don't suppress them listen to them
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would you like a grilled eggplant
keychain
how about ginger
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this is why you can't lose weight in
japan
i found me i found why am i still here
yep i used to model these face masks
sold worldwide during my time
in nagoya they still seem to use my face
in every single ad and i still have
footage from those days and it was a fun
experience but
really really exhausting and tedious
they had to cut the masks because my
face was way too small and i had to
stand
very very still
it wasn't a typical modeling job but it
was my first one so i did it for the
experience and guess what
the masks are still everywhere in japan
and a very good gift for friends and
family
they even have kids ones too
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america is not my home i realized that
the other day
japan is not my home either when i feel
homesick
i question if this is even homesickness
or not because
it's so confusing not lots of people
crazy you see when you live in another
country for so
so long you build a life
and that life becomes your home but it's
not really your home or is it
confusing i know recently i've been
itching to visit friends and family back
home
but i can't and i think that the
restriction of that
brings about this homesickness feeling
which does happen from time to time
for every foreigner that lives here it's
no new feeling
but what i mean is the last time i went
back home i felt anxious
and i felt far from home meaning japan
i felt homesick for japan i'd wake up in
my own bed and i'd panic
where am i so what i'm saying is i
didn't even know which home
was my home
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marriage bad travel bad i blame 2020
it's all your fault it's all your fault
doing it one more time this is probably
taboo but it was his money
so this time it's mine
that won't come out oh this is a bad
sign
it's not coming out is this bad what
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the universe heard me and i did it a
second time
and because i did that and didn't give
up i wasn't accepting the bad fortune i
was like
no i can't accept this in my life and it
happened i manifested it
you gotta believe in yourself
here's what i concluded home is your
relationship with yourself
when you know and understand yourself
and who you are
home can be anywhere and once i reminded
myself this i felt a sense of peace
and homesickness doesn't mean you don't
know who you
are or you want to go home necessarily
it means we have a need
the feeling of homesickness is telling
us we have a need
for connection i realized my lack of
connection and spending time with
friends here
and the family i built in japan has led
me to feel this way so
this sunday i schedule time with friends
and with that shift
the feeling of homesickness and not
feeling like i belong anywhere
will slowly begin to fade
curry lunch what an amazing husband
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we are going to a cafe to work and get
some stuff done because today is a
public holiday it's probably going to be
so busy but
it's a rainy cloudy day
so we'll see what happens i don't know
my eyes look so blue
whoa
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this is the first time that i'm working
in a cafe in a really long time
and i'm really excited and i feel like
i'm gonna get a lot of work done
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getting out of the house getting ready
has been tough for me once i get into a
flow with my projects i forget to take
breaks
because well i don't want to i'm going
to flow and having too much
fun and this new life of working from
home
is very different from me and i'm still
learning but reality is
my health part of my life by is a little
bit out of balance and being aware
of what's out of balance is going to
allow me to take action
this is what i talk about in my current
program that
i have been working on for quite a while
now how dare you throw that crust away
how dare you that's the best
part it's not for dogs the reality is
your life will always be out of balance
somewhere especially when you're working
hard on your dreams but it's up to you
to be aware of that and bounce back okay
we're heading home we're going grocery
shopping
really late because i don't feel like
going outside tomorrow so i can start
eating healthy and not eating all this
these carbs ever since i started feeling
better with my stomach and everything
i've been eating and eating because i
missed all the foods i've been
restricting myself from i'm
suffering the consequences of gaining
weight when was the last time you saw a
kid
don't go in there is coronavirus season
i guess but i guess probably nobody's
used this
when i came to japan for the first time
i had a telephone card i didn't have a
cell phone and have anything
i had to call my parents using that and
i also had travelers checks i didn't
have any credit cards or anything
knowing that even though starting a
brand in business for me right now is
taking up a lot of learning growth and
time
i know that when i'm more familiar with
this life the other parts of my life
will be in balance again
as long as i have a resilient mind and
consistent
here's the word again awareness
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so i'm on a little bit of a walk right
now and i just wanted to say
that recently i have been
not really like that feeling a little
bit disconnected i guess
and a lot of people are wondering like
aren't you homesick you've been living
in japan for so so long homesickness
happens
no matter how long you've lived in a
country usually homesickness is kind of
that need for connection you have to
listen to your needs because there are
many different needs
that occur within you and if you ignore
those needs then you just
live a very unbalanced unhealthy life i
don't know like i've just been choking
up a lot feeling a little bit down i
think we all have
we've all been there but at the same
time i
went back to america and i always felt
very
not like i was at home i didn't feel
like america was my home
i had a lot of reverse culture shock and
i have a whole video about that you want
to watch it down below i talked about
all my reverse culture shocks i'm going
to sit here really quick
at this little park in the neighborhood
but yeah so
when i went back i just didn't feel like
it was my home so at the same time i'm
homesick here but then if i went back to
the states
i wouldn't feel like i'm at home there
either so very different it's very
i don't know i don't know how to explain
it but feeling very emotional i think
it's because of 2020.
i think it's because of a lot of change
and transition in my own life
and everybody's lives and just all of
the craziness that has been going on
in the states and around the world
today's election day there's a lot of
tension
yeah it's just been a lot of emotion and
yeah so i'm just on a walk
and then i'm gonna go get a few things
at the store and then
head back home and do some more work
right now my days are busy and life goes
on japan
is my home indefinitely and my identity
as an american
still lives within me and i am proud
i am working on module 5 and finalizing
all the worksheets and things like that
this week has been
a lot i think having this new chapter in
my life
where i'm not commuting to work and i'm
not going
anywhere i don't have a schedule i have
to be my own boss and i have to
be able to create systems which is
ironically
i'm talking about that in module 5 which
is what i'm working on now
it's got me thinking about my own life
and the transition that i'm going
through right now and
throughout your entire life you're going
to be going through new transitions and
new chapters in your life
and nothing's going to ever be perfect
you're not going to get
to a perfect place in your life it's all
about awareness and all about resilience
started to become more aware
of i don't have a system for myself so
i'm saying yes to too many things
and i'm taking on too many projects
because i'm so excited
about all the things that i can do now
i'm seeing these patterns in myself that
i didn't see before
when i quit my job now i'm a little bit
out of balance because you don't have
that cut off
because nobody's telling you no kelly
you can't do that i'm using the kaizen
method and everything to
narrow down my goals and what i need to
do and i
am crossing off the things on my list
that don't need to be
done right now it's all very exciting
work and my course is doing so well
we have over 30 students now and it's
just been amazing and the group is just
so supportive
and kind and we hold space for each
other and that's what's very important a
lot of you guys are moving to japan and
it's all
very positive stress i need to have
systems in place
if i want to continue doing this you
know alone and by myself for those of
you
wanting to move abroad work on yourself
understand who you are
and develop a mindset that you trust and
i promise you
you'll bounce back during the tough
times and uncover the answers to many of
the ups and downs
living abroad or just in life
in general
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thank you guys for watching give this
video a like and subscribe and comment
down below what you do whenever you feel
homesick
also let me know how you're doing during
this time i know it's tough but
hang in there you're doing great i will
see you guys
in the next video