(ticking)
(sigh)
- I guess I'll check Facebook?
(door opening)
- Well, well, well.
- Knock, knock.
- [Man In White Hat] Looks like somebody's
checking Facebook, huh?
- Oh my God, it's the Facebook algorithm.
- Who?
- They control everything, the feed,
what you see, what you don't see.
- What's it to ya?
- Nothing.
I deleted my account, I swear.
- Arf!
(whimpering)
- Goodbye, Siobhan.
- Hmm, this a nice place you got here.
Oh, yeah, real nice place.
- Thanks?
- Hey, do me a quick favor.
Take a look at this article.
- Strawberries are bad for you,
but not for the reasons you think?
- Yeah, what do you think of that?
- It's okay?
- Okay?
Are you sure you don't like it?
Be a real shame if you didn't like it.
- I like it.
I like it, it's good, I like it!
- Oh, you hear that?
She likes it!
- She's a fan.
- [Man In White Hat] She likes the article.
Well, if you like it so much,
here's a hundred more.
- Oh, my God!
That is so many articles.
- You're welcome.
- I don't...
Look, I just went on Facebook
to see how my best friend from England is doing.
- Oh, your friend from England.
- [Man In White Hat] Friend from England.
- Oh, is this your friend from England right here?
- Yeah.
- Wow, very pretty girl.
You don't see her anymore!
(laughter)
- [ Man In White Hat] Hey, ask her what else
she wants to see, yeah?
- I'm going to, you idiot.
Excuse me, mademoiselle.
You have anything else you would like to view?
- Um, my friend Rachel just had a baby.
- Oh, her friend Rachel.
- Her friend Rachel, wow.
She had a baby, okay.
You wanna see a picture of her baby?
- Yes?
- Okay, how bout a picture
of your high school bully's baby?
(laughing)
- I'm not even friends with her!
- Yes you are!
- Oh, you friended her way back when
and just forgot about it,
and we brought it up again for no reason.
- God, she looks just like her.
That's so many bad memories.
- Hey, let me do it.
I'm your friend, see.
I'll show you whatever you wanna see, see?
What d'ya wanna see?
- My friend Avery
just got a puppy.
Maybe a video of the puppy?
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
- But first, you gotta look at 50 articles
your friend's mother shared about mercury in vaccines.
- No!
(laughing)
No, why, why are you doing this to me?
- Cause we're protecting you!
- [Man In Gold Hat] Yeah, we're protecting you.
- I just wanna go back to the old linear timeline.
- [Man In White Hat] Hey, we all have wants.
And if you want people to be able to see
your little YouTubes,
you best throw us some dough, okay?
- Oh, no.
All right, we'll be back next week.
We'll see ya then.
Toodles.
(gasp)
(door closing)
- Well, I guess I still have Instagram.
(shouting)
- You didn't think it'd be that easy, huh?
- Hi, I'm Siobhan from College Humor.
Click over here to subscribe,
and click here for more fun stuff,
ya filthy animals.
I was abandoned in this office
when I was ten years old by my parents.
I've only eaten pizza for such a long time.
I think I have scurvy.