>> Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN
MAKING HIS DEBUT ON THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER STAGE.
PLEASE WELCOME DWAYNE PERKINS.
♪ ♪ ♪
>> THANK YOU, GUYS.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.
SO MY SISTER JUST HAD A BABY.
( APPLAUSE )
YEAH.
AND MY NIECE IS NAMED SCIELAR.
RIGHT.
I LIKE THE NAME.
I DIDN'T LOVE IT AT FIRST BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF A WHITE
NAME.
IT'S TRENDING WHITE.
I THINK WE CAN AGREE ON THAT.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, MY SISTER'S NAME IS TASHANA, SO MY
MOTHER WENT THAT WAY WITH IT, YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
SO I THINK MY SISTER WANTED TO TAKE A LITTLE OFF THE TOP IS
WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO DO.
LET'S BRING IT BACK A SMIDGE.
I GOT A SISTER NAMED TASHANA, TALASHA, A BROTHER NAMED TORAN,
AND MY YOUNGEST BROTHER IS NAMED VICTOR.
( LAUGHTER )
IT'S LIKE THEY GOT TO VICTOR AND THEY WERE LIKE, "OKAY, LET'S CUT
THIS OUT.
WE MADE OUR POINT.
CAN WE-- CAN WE STOP NOW?
I LIKE THE NAME SKYLAR, SKYLARIS GOING TO GET OLDER AND LOOK FOR
A JOB AND I'M LIKING THE CHANCES.
THEY GET THE RESUME AND THEY SEE SKYLAR AT THE TOP.
LET'S BRING HER IN.
IF THEY GET A RESUME THAT SAY LACRESHIA AT THE TOP... YOU
KNOW, LACRESHIA DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHE THINKS THE CUSTOMER IS
ALWAYS RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER )
COUNTRY, YOU CAN HAVE A CHILD AND NAME IT WHATEVER YOU WANT.
THAT'S CRAZY.
I THINK IN A ROOM WHERE YOU GIVE THE NAMES, THERE SHOULD BE AN
ALARM SYSTEM.
LIKE...
( LAUGHTER )
LIKE A BUTTON AT THE BANK, SO YOU CAN PRESS THE BUTTON TO
ALERT THE AUTHORITIES THAT A MISTAKE IS IN PROGRESS.
( LAUGHTER )
DAUGHTER.
WHAT WOULD YOU THRIEK NAME HER?" "WE WOULD LIKE TO NAME HER BEGIN
SINGA.
LIKE GINSING WITH AN "A" AT THE END.
LET ME GET SOMETHING UNDER MY DESK.
PUSH THE BUTTON.
LET THEM KNOW.
SHE GETS BACK TO THE ROOM.
THE BABY'S GONE.
"OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE YOU GONE WITH GINSINGA?"
OH, YOU MEAN MICHELLE?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SHE'S WITH THE FAMILY THAT'S GOING TO LOVE HER.
THAT'S WHERE MICHELLE-- THAT'S WHERE MICHELLE IS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
I'M TEASING.
I KNOW YOU CANNOT TAKE PEOPLE'S BABIES AWAY.
I REALIZE THAT.
I'M ALSO NOT MAKING FUN OF YOUR NAME IF IT'S FROM ANOTHER
COUNTRY, AND IT'S OKAY IN THAT COUNTRY.
YOU KNOW, LIKE I GOT A BUDDY NAME CHINADO.
HE'S NIJEERGZ.
THAT'S LIKE JOHN WHERE HE'S FROM.
BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO GOOFF THE RANCH, HE COULD SAVE THAT BABY'S
LIFE.
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DAUGHTER.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO NAME HER.
I WOULD LIKE TO NAME HER EXOTICASIA.
I'M SORRY, WHAT?
EXOTIC ASIA.
WE WERE SO EXCITED WHEN SHE EXITED.
SO EXOTICASIA.
NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T-- I'M NOT GOING TO TYPE THAT IN.
I'M SORRY.
GO AGAIN.
SHE'S GOING TO GET UPSET.
HOLD ON HOLD ON.
WHO ARE YOU?
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO NAME MY DAUGHTER.
YOU TELLING PEOPLE WHAT THEY CAN NAME EVERYBODY.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, BIG MAN, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
WHO?
WHO, ME?
I'M LAMANGELO.
( LAUGHTER )
LEMONCIELO.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
I'M DWAYNE PERKINS.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: DWAYNE'S SPECIAL "TAKE NOTE" IS AVAILABLE TO
STREAM ON STARZ.
DWAYNE PERKINS, EVERYBODY!