Hey what's up guys
Today I'll show you a comedy-horror film: "I Sell the Dead"
Spoiler ahead, watch out and take care
During the 1850s, a prison guard drags a smelly old man, "Willie",
to the guillotine in the middle of the plaza
He is sentenced to death, after being accused of committing murder and grave robbery
The people watch the scene, where the prison guard puts him on the guillotine
In a few moments, the prison guard activates the guillotine, instantly cutting his head
Days after, Willie's young apprentice, "Arthur", is also about to be executed
He is also sentenced to death, after being accused of collaborating with Willie's crime
Just then, a priest arrives to take his final words before his death
The priest says his final words will serve as a warning for future law offenders
The priest then declares that Arthur is guilty of murder and grave robbery
As a result, he will be sentenced to death
The priest lets Arthur say his final words
So Arthur claims he and Willie are innocent of murder; but they are guilty of grave robbery
The authorities only found fresh body parts trails that led to their homes,
making them think the two were a murderer
Arthur then believes that someone set it up to frame them for murder
The priest disregards the murder crime, and asks Arthur about their grave robbing activity
Arthur hesitates to share it, since the priest might not believe him
As an excuse, he says he has a terrible memory
The priest then takes out his alcohol,
saying that it would make him believe everything Arthur says,
and make Arthur's memory better
Arthur then gladly accepts the alcohol,
and proceeds to narrate how he got into grave robbing activity
The scene then flashes back when Arthur is still a kid
At that time, he lives with his mother and his baby sibling without their father
His mother leaves her job to take care of his baby sibling
This forces Arthur to find a job from the pub owner, who leads him to Willie
Eventually, Willie introduces Arthur to his grave robbing activity
He teaches Arthur to extract corpses out of their graves; so they can sell them after
Arthur begins opening the coffin, and barely manages to survive the smell
But he still continues tying the corpse using the rope, allowing Willie to extract it
To Arthur's surprise, the corpse turns out to be his neighbor
As he seems to be disturbed, Willie consoles him with his muscles
After the successful operation, Willie attempts to kill Arthur to sell his body
But Willie changes his mind, making Arthur believe he has a good heart,
underneath the layers of dirt on his body
So Arthur narrates to the priest that it shows Willie is not a murderer
The priest then asks Arthur how many years he has worked as a grave robber
Arthur replies they are forced to continue as a grave robber,
because of the doctor who bought their corpses
The doctor demanded them to deliver more corpses;
and soon after, they could no longer get them from the nearby cemetery
In a flashback, Arthur and Willie need to improvise on finding corpses
Arthur then gets an idea to steal his aunt's body during her wake
The innocent Arthur comes to the wake, and pretentiously cries, making the other visitors laugh
Arthur then requests to his grandma and the other visitors he needs to be alone with his auntie
As they come out of the room, Arthur locks the door using the rope
He then ties auntie's corpse with a rope, and drags it outside
Arthur and Willie drag the corpse, and successfully escape out of the house
The two then deliver the corpse to the pub, where the doctor will come to pick it up
The pub owners warn them that they should be careful,
as their names are being known for grave robbing
But Willie reveals that they don't have a choice, since the doctor is blackmailing them
If they fail to deliver corpses to the doctor, he will use the law against them
The doctor eventually arrives, and tells Willie that he needs more corpses immediately
Apparently, the doctor uses it for his experimentation
He then threatens them that if they fail to deliver, he will hire the Murphy gang to kill them;
so he can have their corpses instead
This pushes the two to work hard in order to find more corpses
The cycle of the doctor's threats forces the two to continue working as grave robbers
In fear that they might be killed, the two remains as the doctor's slaves for years;
even the doctor fails to pay them properly
Back to the present,
Arthur explains to the priest that
the doctor's demands force them to collect corpses that have resurrected
Arthur's first encounter with the resurrected corpse, makes him never trust the corpses
But he says that the priest might not believe the cases of the zombified corpses
So the priest claims he knows Arthur's encounter with the zombies
He then says that Arthur's encounter with the zombies, arouses his curiosity to interview Arthur
Apparently, the priest pays the guard;
so they would allow him to have a moment with Arthur that time
Arthur then jokingly asks if the priest always pays to be alone with men all the time
But the priest seems not to be happy with his joke
The priest then speculates that Willie introduces Arthur to the zombie market,
where they sell zombies
Arthur claims that they together discover the zombie market
In a flashback, the pub owner leads Willie and Arthur to the location of the zombified corpse
The two soon arrive at the location, and find the corpse buried outside the graveyard
Willie then thinks that the corpse might be excommunicated by the church,
because it committed suicide
Arthur unravels the cover, revealing the corpse covered with garlic
He removes the garlic, and pulls the knife attached to its body
As they prepare the cart, the corpse resurrects, and becomes a zombie
The two then find it gone, making them run in fear
Along the way, they see it crying
They are completely stunned upon seeing it
Willie immediately runs away, leaving Arthur alone
In a few moments, the zombie approaches Arthur, and instantly attacks his ass from behind
Willie arrives and smashes it away
Suddenly, it reappears; so Willie smashes it again
but he hits Arthur instead
They find the zombie gone; but it soon comes back, attacking Willie
In response, he stabs the zombie, making it unconscious
As he removes the knife, he discovers that the zombie is coming back to life
So he inserts the knife back into its body, making it unconscious again
At this point, Arthur insists on leaving it alone;
but Willie decides to sell it to the doctor instead
The doctor eventually receives the zombie at his home, where he removes the knife out of it
The zombie then awakes and eats the doctor to death
After the doctor's death, Arthur and Willie are finally free now;
and they can choose to sell corpses to anyone
They discover that there are people, who are willing to pay a large amount of money to the zombies
Their lives then become better, as they earn more from selling zombies
Back to the present, the priest says that the lives of the two become lucrative
Arthur says that it was not the case all the time,
since their rival gang, the Murphies, stole their zombies sometimes
He says that the Murphies take grave robbing seriously,
unlike him and Willie, who were doing it carefree
Arthur then continues to narrate his encounter with an old man in a cowboy hat, nicknamed CowMan,
who belongs to the Murphy gang
In the flashback scene, Arthur and Willie arrive at their target grave
Arthur gets disturbed that the grave is frozen, while the surrounding is not
Willie then says they should begin digging to figure it out
After a long time of digging the frozen grave, the two finally reveal the coffin
The two carry the frozen coffin back to the cart; but they accidentally drop it
The coffin opens from the fall
To their surprise, the coffin contains a frozen alien inside
Despite finding it unusual, Arthur carries it; so they can sell it back to the town
However, the notorious CowMan arrives on the scene to steal the alien
Scared of CowMan, Willie instructs Arthur to give the alien to him
But Arthur doesn't know CowMan; so he refuses to give it away
The three then begin to fight over the alien
As they fight over it, the alien glows with a blinding light, and it instantly disappears
Now, they do not have an alien to sell
But CowMan recognizes Arthur's bravery;
so he offers Arthur to leave Willie, and work for the Murphy gang instead
Back to the present, the priest asks Arthur if he has accepted the offer
Arthur replies he refused the offer; but he considered it
The priest suddenly gets curious about the Murphy gang, and urges Arthur to share more about them
Arthur then claims that Murphy comes from the lineage of violent bastards
The Murphy gang takes grave robbing seriously
Arthur says they tried to avoid the Murphy gang for years
But upon the arrival of Arthur's horny girlfriend apprentice, they encounter the Murphy gang again
It's revealed that Apprentice formerly worked as a wrecker,
where she lures a ship to crash and loot it afterward
In a flashback scene, Willie, Arthur, and Apprentice are having a fun moment in the pub
Willie and Arthur are having a drinking contest, where they compete to finish the beers first
The pub owner approaches them, and offers them a new mission
the pub owner manages to get information from an old woman, who works in the morgue
The old woman said a zombie attacked her from the shipment box, making her scream in fear
Luckily, the cross from the old woman puts the zombie to sleep, allowing her to survive
The old woman then reveals that there are two remaining zombies in the shipment box
However, the ship carrying it crashes; and the shipment box floats to an island
The pub owner says the surgeons are willing to pay a large amount of money for the two zombies,
believing it is the key to discovering immortality
However, the surgeons already hired the Murphy gang to get it
Their faces then show disappointment, because they do not want to encounter the Murphy gang
Apprentice asks about the Murphy gang; and Arthur introduces them to her
The Murphy gang consists of CowMan;
the assistant who has a scary burned face; and the bulger who has dog teeth
The father of CowMan serves as the anonymous Murphy mastermind
He works in secret
while CowMan and the other gang members do the dirty work
Apprentice insists on continuing on the mission
but Willie and Arthur remain scared of the Murphy gang
So Willie angrily declares that they will not continue on the mission
Later at night, Arthur and Apprentice are arguing about the mission
Apprentice is determined to do the mission,
since the money they would get will allow them to live lucratively for a long time
But Arthur learns from Willie that they should remain to do the small jobs,
until they have enough money to settle
She replies that they should not be scared of CowMan, because he is not too evil
Arthur then shares the story of CowMan, where he eats a rabbit in front of his father as a child
This makes Arthur claim CowMan is a merciless killer
As Apprentice fails to convince him with words, she just seduces him with a tongue massage
After that, she is able to convince Arthur; and they decide to get the two zombies on the island
The three soon row their boat in the dark sea, going to the island
The sea makes Willie remember his father's death, as his father died drowning in the sea
Along the way, Willie accidentally drops their crucifix in the sea,
leaving them no protection against the zombies
In the morning, the three arrive on the island,
where they find the bulger guarding the zombie crates with his dog teeth
Apprentice instantly slits the bulger's throat,
but spares his ugly dog teeth, leading to his honorable death
Willie and Arthur get angry by that, since they do not want to be involved in a murder case
Willie insists on leaving unnoticed;
but Apprentice insists they should not leave without the zombies
They then check one of the crates, and only find a smelly foot
A zombie suddenly comes out, and charges at Willie
The zombie then grabs him tightly, and takes a bite at his juicy body
Apprentice grabs back the zombie; and she manages to kick it to the cage, locking it inside
However, Willie gets wounded from the bite
Just then, CowMan and the assistant arrive
CowMan throws a knife at Apprentice, ending her horny life
He then ties Willie and Arthur to the cage, and plans to sell them as a corpse
Arthur attempts to trick CowMan, by accepting the job offered by him earlier
But CowMan wants to sell them as corpses
Apparently, CowMan gets mad,
after a carefree grave robber like Arthur tries to go against the Murphy gang,
who takes pride in grave robbing
He then instructs the assistant to reveal her ugly, burned face to them, as a pre-punishment
As she reveals it, the two get completely scared to shit
However, her ugly face agitates the ugly zombie, making it break the cage, and instantly attack her
CowMan tries to help her; but the injured zombie also attacks him
In the end, the two zombies end up eating CowMan and the assistant to death
Meanwhile, Willie and Arthur manage to escape from the island
After that, the two come to the pub, where they argue with each other
Apparently, Willie misunderstood Arthur earlier
He thinks that Arthur betrayed him, for accepting the job offer from CowMan
Just before they can reconcile with each other, Willie gets executed days after
And back to the present, Arthur is also about to be executed
Just then, the priest reveals that he is Murphy's mastermind
Possibly, he is responsible for framing Willie and Arthur,
to take revenge on them for the loss of his shitty son, CowMan
At that moment, he reveals his intentions to take revenge on Arthur, by torturing Arthur to death
Arthur mocks his son for being killed; so he takes out his maze in anger
He then proceeds to beat the smelly shit out of Arthur
Fortunately, the beheaded zombie Willie arrives in time, instantly killing the Murphy mastermind
Willie then explains that he becomes a zombie, because of the zombie bite he got earlier
Willie proceeds to give the key to Arthur, allowing both of them to escape out of prison
The two finally reconcile with each other; and they become good friends again
In the end, CowMan revives as a vengeful zombie, who is hungry to take revenge on the two
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