- There are plenty of people who will always see,
and this is, I don't agree with this,
but we're gonna, if you're,
if we're being honest, it's true.
There are plenty of people who are going to always see
Ivanka Trump as more attractive than Beyonce, right?
(upbeat music)
Hey guys, it's Kat.
And it's time for another episode of True Tea.
I wanted to thank you guys so much for joining me
for yet another episode of True Tea.
We do these episodes every single month.
We're not doing it weekly anymore.
And video versions of the podcast
are now available on my YouTube channel.
Speaking of YouTube channels,
I also wanted to mention that I now have a side channel
called Kat Black 2.0,
where I'm gonna be uploading some
of my more experimental content.
The past couple of months,
I've been really working a lot to hone in
on what I actually want to create on this platform.
And I have that kind of sorted out.
And everything else is gonna go over on that other channel.
So if you are interested in that, be sure to check that out.
Anyway, we're gonna be having a conversation in this video
about something that I barely understand.
So as per usual, I would highly suggest that you
go to your kitchen and grab yourself something to drink.
Right now, I am actually drinking,
now this is gonna shock some of y'all,
I am actually drinking water with a little bit of lemon.
I don't know what it is about that classic combination.
My mom used to drink it all the time,
but I'm obsessed with it lately.
And honestly, any way that I can be obsessed with water
is probably for the best, you know?
So anyway, I'm gonna take a sip of this,
and let's get right into this complex conversation I guess.
Oh my god, that is so refreshing.
Okay.
So can we talk about something?
I'm back doing college presentations
and I gave this virtual speech a couple of months ago
and I had a student ask me a question
that really threw me through a loop.
The student asked me how I felt about pretty privilege.
And if I'm being honest with you guys,
I kinda stumbled over my answer because I realized
that pretty privilege is not something
that I've really investigated a lot or really,
you know, thought much about, I guess you could say.
So it was kind of a question
that I didn't really have an answer for.
And I've been thinking a lot about that since then.
And the question that I keep coming back to
is whether or not pretty privilege is a thing.
And so this is what we're gonna be trying
to figure out together.
We're gonna be having a call-in show next Wednesday
if everything goes as planned.
And you know, I really wanna get to the bottom of this.
But before that, I obviously wanna get into
my own personal thoughts about pretty privilege.
So I'm gonna assume if you're watching this video,
you're probably someone who has watched my other content.
And I am someone who definitely has made a lot of content
about privilege, especially white privilege,
which is a thing because this country
has a history of white supremacy and upholding,
you know, resources for white folks specifically.
And so, white supremacy and privilege is a thing,
because of the history that defines it as such, right?
If we did not have such a history of white folks fighting
to displace an oppress people of color,
white privilege probably would not be a thing.
However, this country has a long history of white folks
pushing down marginalized minority people of color
in order to pull themselves up.
And that is what sets the foundation for white privilege.
Right?
And so, a lot of times when I think about privilege,
I think about it in that way, right?
Something that is based on a, you know,
systemic thing that we can observe, right?
So when I often think about privilege like that,
I think about things like able body privilege
or CIS privilege, right?
These things that we can look at and say,
"Well society has been built to help
and focus on these groups of people."
Right?
Society has been built without the thought
of people with disabilities moving through it, right?
Society has been built without the thought
of trans people moving throughout it, right?
So these things exist
and are defined as privileges for that reason.
At least that's how I think about it.
But when it comes to pretty privilege, I have a really,
really hard time piecing it together in a similar way.
And I think that's partially just because
of my own experience with what I think people
are using to define as pretty privilege.
So let's,
I guess get into my messy understanding of the term.
So a lot of times
when I hear people talk about pretty privilege,
they speak about situations where,
because someone was good looking
or considered to be attractive,
they were given opportunities that people
who fall outside of that are not, right?
That is something that I hear a lot,
at least when I sort of peer into conversations
about pretty privilege.
And it's something that comes up a lot in the conversation
around employment, right?
This idea that employers are more likely to hire you
if you're attractive.
And now listen y'all, I live in Los Angeles, okay?
And there's a restaurant, not too far from me,
it's called Home.
If you live in LA, you've probably gone to this restaurant.
It's a really popular date spot.
I've gone on several different dates
with several different people at that place
'cause it's just that good.
And the thing about this particular restaurant,
not to give them free promo or whatever,
is you know,
and maybe this is just how a lot of places are in LA,
but all of the waiters are good looking.
Like every single waiter that I've ever seen there
is just very, very, very attractive, right?
Now I've heard, though I'm not sure if this is true or not,
that sometimes in Los Angeles,
when you apply for a waitress job or a waiter job, whatever,
wait person job.
I don't know what the gender neutral version
of that would be.
But when you apply for this job,
it's not uncommon for you
to also have to send in a headshot.
I don't know.
I've never worked in LA,
other than what we're doing right now.
But that's something that I've heard, right?
And so I think there is something to be said
about the fact that there are situations,
where because somebody is considered attractive,
they are given certain opportunities, right?
And of course, when we talk about this,
we obviously can't ignore that a lot of this is going to be
influenced by all the things that I mentioned before, right?
Because society has been built
to promote and support whiteness.
Whiteness is going to be seen as more attractive, right?
Because society's been built to support
and promote people who are able bodied,
people who have disabilities are probably going to be
excluded from what is attractive to a lot of people, right?
Because of societies way of, you know,
rejecting trans folks via sexism.
You're gonna have people who definitely see
transgender people as unattractive
and thus outside of what is considered to be attractive.
Right?
So you know, when I think of pretty privilege,
and I start thinking about that aspect of it,
it's hard for me not to think of pretty privilege
as just a combination of other types of privilege.
You know what I mean?
And I feel like that's more true than arguing that it is,
you know, this absolute.
And again, part of why I feel that way
is 'cause I've had some experience with this.
And this also is why it tends
to slip away from me specifically,
because I know that despite how I may feel about myself,
okay, despite how cute I may think I am, right?
As a black trans woman who is not thin,
there are going to be people who consider me unattractive.
Right?
And that's kind of the standard.
Most people feel that way.
Most people would consider someone who is trans,
black, plus size, not attractive to them.
Right?
We're not gonna debate that.
I wrote a whole article about it on my website.
You can read that.
But you know, long story short,
I am outside of what a lot of people
would consider to be attractive.
But a lot of my life,
and I've spoken about this a few times on here,
has kind of been defined by me being in situations
where I am using my appearance to get certain things.
When I was younger, and I was in situations where I really,
really needed to survive, I used my appearance 100%.
Now, obviously we've spoken about how that has not been
great for me and how that's messed up my relationship
with men in so many different ways
and how it's made it hard for me to believe
that people who are nice to me don't want something from me.
That's just what happens
when you're used to being exploited in that way.
You know, but it's still something that I look at
when I look at the story of my life.
When I look at, you know,
all the various things that I've experienced,
the things that I've internalized,
what has been, you know,
centralized as, you know,
my way of thinking of the world, right?
I have an awareness of the fact that people are attracted
to me and that I can use that to my advantage, right?
But like I said, obviously as a black trans woman,
I'm not gonna be able to do that in every situation.
There are plenty of people who will always see,
and this is, I don't agree with this,
but we're gonna, if we're being honest, it's true.
There are plenty of people who are going to always see
Ivanka Trump as more attractive than Beyonce, right?
Plenty of people.
By virtue of her being a thin blonde white woman, right?
So, you know, I guess for me,
it's like these things don't always feel so hard and fast,
which is why it's so hard for me to necessarily equate them
to privilege in the same way,
because obviously what is considered pretty to people
is gonna be different, right?
It's not gonna be this one universal thing.
But obviously in a country with a history like ours,
it's pretty easy to guess what the best practices would be
if you, you know, are looking for, you know,
attractive people who are attractive to other people.
Right?
But still,
it doesn't feel like a hard and fast thing for me.
And I guess that's kind of why I struggle
with seeing it as privilege, right?
Because when I look at white supremacy,
that looks like something that's hard for me
to look at and reject, right?
Like that's something that, you know,
we have history to back that up, you know?
You had to be a free white persons of good moral character
if you wanted to own a business, and you know,
amass wealth for yourself for a while in this country.
Right?
That's something that is,
that is systemic and hard for me to deny,
because of how rooted in,
you know, truth it is.
Right?
Beauty and prettiness, to me, it's not always that way.
And if I can say that I've used my appearance, you know,
to get ahead in certain situations,
it's hard for me to necessarily see it the same way.
For me, I think the conversation around desirability,
I think that that kinda gets closer
to what I think a lot of people are saying,
but I'm just very curious about this conversation
of pretty privilege and why people think that it is
this specific thing outside of colorism or featurism,
or you know, white supremacy or any other thing.
Right?
I'm very, very curious what you guys have to say.
Like I said,
we will be hosting a call-in show next Wednesday.
Be there, 6:00 PM.
And I wanna see if we can get to the bottom of this,
because I keep seeing all of this discourse,
and if I'm being frank with you guys,
I'm just kinda turned off by the very like concept
of the conversation happening.
Because to me, it's not this solidified truth.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm prettier than I realize, but I doubt it.
You know, I just, I don't know.
I guess it's confusing to me.
Anyway, on that note, I will check you guys next month.
We're gonna be back with a review hopefully next week.
So stick on this channel if you're interested.
Follow the podcast, if you wanna see, or hear rather,
the edited version of the call-in show.
And I will always post the full long ass live stream
that I do to film and record the call-ins onto my Patreon.
So yeah, check me out.
All right, I'll see you guys.
Bye.