So after moving to America,
Here are the shocking ways I discovered how Americans raise their kids.
So the first one, I was really really shocked because I just found this out yesterday...
That American parents used leashes on their kids.
Not all parents, but it's only like at really busy spot where if you have a kid that runs away easily.
Parents might put like a little like backpack leash thing on to keep track of their kids.
Wow, honestly like that's like unheard of in like my culture where I grew up from.
So just to hear that they actually put leashes like kind of like a pet, it's kind of crazy.
It's normal here, but it's not like everywhere all the time.
So the second thing is what I discovered that American parents don't bathe their kids every day.
So what I found out is, the norm is they bathe their kids every two to three days.
But we even know of someone who bathe their kids once a week.
Like wow!
The weather's a lot cooler here.
Yes, I get that.
But they're kids. They're messy, they get dirty, you know, so...
So I mean we do bathe our kids every single day. Yeah.
So that's something that we decided.
That's the beauty about being in a cultural relationship.
You can pick and choose the best.
So fortunately we get to bathe our kids every single day, but just once.
So the next shocking thing is that...
I found the quality of the food that's been given to children here in America is very poor.
I've seen the foods in schools.
And also, I see what parents usually serve their kids here, in terms of just like cereal.
Stuff that has a lot of sugar and processed. Highly highly processed food.
That's one of the shocking ways that I discovered how American parents raise their kids.
Yeah, that is one thing I know it's just the difference too of...
Especially when I go back to Malaysia.
The emphasis is on giving your child the best fresh made food every single day.
Whereas here, they're a lot more like heating food up. It's processed.
And you're right, the food that they serve in schools is usually packaged.
It's usually not very nutrient dense.
It's not as good for you.
So for our family, we try our best to give our kids the best possible meals.
Like all three meals, we try to make it as much as possible because...
It's really a challenge because we don't have much access to good food.
It's not easily accessible like in Asia.
Usually, food that can easily buy on the go for breakfast, lunch or dinner...
Is mostly processed or it's very expensive.
Okay, so speaking of food, Logesh actually cooks pretty much all the food for the household.
But I like to help out when I can.
Since you guys know we are an Asian household, we eat a ton of rice.
So I like to help by making rice.
And since I'm not a good cook, the only way I can do this well is by using a rice cooker.
And I choose the Cuckoo Micom Rice Cooker.
It has amazing amazing technology.
It has what's called the fuzzy logic technology that makes sure it's cooked perfectly.
It's really cool and incredibly easy.
But not just rice. I'm actually going to show you I can make other things too.
I'm gonna start making the boys some breakfast now.
Are you cutting banana?
So one actually pretty cool thing about this is, it doesn't cook like a pressure cooker.
It actually has a hot plate at the bottom that steams and cooks the food from the bottom...
Which I think is awesome.
All right, let's check this out.
Oh, it smells so good. It's perfect.
Hey, boys. Breakfast.
Which color do you want?
Okay.
Kyren. Breakfast, buddy.
I eat a big bit. Oh, you eat a big bite? Yeah.
So the boys are enjoying their breakfast.
One other thing I love about this as a busy mom...
It actually has an auto clean function which makes my life so much easier.
I just love that this whole device is such premium quality.
So guys, do yourself a favor. If you're in the US or Canada, get yourself a cuckoo Micom Rice Cooker.
It makes rice perfect every single time.
And can make a lot of other dishes like oatmeal.
we're gonna leave all the details for you in the description box down below.
So one thing I've learned in America is that...
The parents here allow or are okay with their kids...
Addressing elders or people older than them by their name.
So I would address someone like Mr. Cooper, Mrs. Cooper.
It's always by the name.
And every time I meet someone, they're like, "Oh, just call me by my first name".
Whereas in Asia, where I grew up in Malaysia, we are so used to calling everyone Uncle Auntie, right.
Thank you so much. Uncle! Thank you. Thank you, Uncle.
And to a point sometimes we just don't even know their names you know after so long.
But it's just like so awkward for me when I met Rachel's dad for the first time.
He's like, "Just call me Tad". I'm like, "I can't".
I just like, "Oh my gosh! This is so hard". Like how would I do that, you know.
So I'm like, "Mr. Cooper" and he's like, "Just call me Tad". I'm like, "Okay, Tad".
Again, we don't just call adults by their first name.
Usually it's Ms, Mr or Mrs in front of it.
But I think the thing that shocked me actually was that...
You call even your siblings by a different name.
Like you say like older sisters, you say like Akka. Yeah. Younger brother, Tambi.
You don't call them by their name.
You are only allowed to call someone by their name if they are younger than you.
It's so interesting. Because of like the respect, right, so that's the way.
Yeah, it's like here even my boys would call you know even a teenager by their first name.
No problem. It wouldn't be a thing.
Yeah, we don't think it's right or wrong either way.
It's very cultural. This is like purely Asian culture and American culture.
So it's really unique but yeah it's one of the shocking things for me.
Okay, this one is a big one.
I made a whole video about it.
I will link it up here. No, here.
Somewhere one of these two corners.
A whole video about this.
Really shocked me about American parenting that we've had lots of lots of discussions.
Lots of arguments, lots of debates about this.
I don't think we've still come to a conclusion that which one we love the most.
This is American sleep training for children.
So this is very controversial.
We got people who just 100% believe in it.
And we've got people who 100% don't believe in it.
Sleep training is teaching kids how to sleep by themselves...
In their own room, in their own bed, or crib.
So with babies, you can start about five or six months old.
And as old as your kids go, you can train them.
But the basic concept is that they learn how to put themselves to sleep...
And sleep through the entire night.
Which gives mom and dad time to be together and get a good night's sleep as well.
So I see the benefits of that.
Like once we put them in their room and all that by themselves...
You know, once they do sleep well, it's great. It's wonderful.
We get our time together. We get to do our things together.
We get busy together in our room, you know.
We've got things, right. We can do ourselves.
But growing up in Asia...
You know, we view like children as you know you don't have a lot of time with them.
And when they're young, you want to nurture, you want to shelter them.
So they're always with you and they sleep with you.
And you know it's a special bond suit, right. You sleep with your children and all that.
Up till today, I love, I'm always telling her like let's bring the kids. I want to cuddle sleep with them.
She's like no.
But I kind of want to know from you guys. What do you think of sleep training?
Let us know down in the comments. Is that a good thing? Is that affordable?
Is that amazing? Has it worked for you?
Let us know. Pros and cons.
Okay, another thing kind of shocking but...
I kind of see it is that it goes along with like American independence...
Where American parents raise their kids to eat by themselves.
I think I kind of like this.
This is the one that I feel like, "Okay. I can adopt".
Because in Asia, we usually hand feed our kids or spoon feed...
Until a certain age and then they can eat themselves.
But here from young, from like six months old, they start giving them a little spoon...
And they try to have them. Eat by themselves.
So I've seen the fruit of that.
We do that for our children and right now they're great eaters. They eat really well themselves.
It's awesome, so...
Again, whatever works for your family but in my experience, I would recommend that.
Because that gives us a little bit more space that we can enjoy our food while they're eating.
Okay, this one is kind of scary, and it's kind of shocking to me...
And I'm really really sad that this happens in America...
Because of the really really relaxed gun laws in here...
A lots of Americans have access to guns, unfortunately.
And there's a lot of killing for guns, so because of that...
Schools have something called an active shooter drills.
Like in Malaysia, in Asian countries, we have like fire drills, you know things like that.
If, you know the building gets on fire, how to run out and all that.
But here kids in schools are raised and trained...
To adapt or to handle if there's an active shooter that comes on campus, on school.
It's heartbreaking that kids have to like experience and like be trained...
To know that someone could come in and try to shoot them.
That's really traumatizing and I hate that.
I really am so frustrated, but it's unavoidable because that's how it is.
Yeah, it's important for them to learn.
Even Zaden at his preschool has already had to do one.
And I want them to have those skills, at the same time, it's so tragic that that's necessary.
Yeah, that they're being exposed to something like that at such a young age, so...
It is what it is, but yeah it's kind of heartbreaking.
Okay, this other one. This is kind of also like a little bit different.
I didn't know this happened here until over time I learned...
The fact that in America, parents are the only ones usually responsible for disciplining kids.
And whereas in Asia, usually kids get disciplined by groups.
The examples is in Asia, your parents, your school teachers, your uncles, aunties and all that...
Are usually encouraged and allowed to like discipline kids.
So that, you know to correct them if they're doing something wrong...
To help them out and all that, right.
But, here the default is given to parents.
It's actually considered rude to discipline somebody else's kids without their permission.
Yeah, so they don't really prefer that.
And every time like a kid misbehaves or anything..
You have to get their parents. You have to you know like defer to that.
Even in school, so it's...
Yeah, in schools like there's... Of course, course of action...
But the parent is always involved in that.
So it's not like just handle at school, parents are brought into.
So in talking about discipline,
One of the differences between American parents and Asian parents is that...
In Asia, spanking is normal. Like I grew up getting spanked.
You know, the kids get spanked if they're misbehaving and all that.
It's getting less and less over the time because people are realizing like the negative effects of it.
But in America, it's always been like no spanking.
Kids get put in timeout.
And timeout is something that's utilized to take kids away from the fun thing they were doing...
And give them time to think and reflect.
But I think a big part of it just having the conversation with your kids...
About what behavior is expected and not and what they should be doing.
Okay, this next thing is somewhat shocking.
The age for toilet training kids.
I didn't actually realize it was such a big deal.
But here in America, it's very common for kids to still be wearing diapers past the age of 3 up until 4
And there's a big emphasis on child led toilet training.
So like they'll let you know when they're ready.
Whereas in a lot of countries...
In Asia.
Yeah, a lot of countries in Asia and other parts of the world they don't even wear diapers...
Or they get toilet trained way way younger.
Which I actually like because...
We don't want to deal with poop, that's what it is.
But I feel like it's easier to break a habit of using a diaper younger...
Versus they've had more years get settled in.
So both our boys are potty trained by age two which has worked out great for us.
For some families, it might not but that's just what we do, so we're on the younger side.
So this next thing, yes it is kind of shocking.
But also very very understandable, as you have seen it in movies.
American parents raise their kids with a lot of positive encouragement and affirmation.
And again it's me personality wise but...
We're a lot about just awarding and emphasizing the good things
And giving less attention to the bad things.
So even in our household, we use a ton of positive praise.
I think though it can be taken a step too far...
That I've seen that Americans will get participation ribbons.
And even if someone's not doing a good job they'll still be like, "Yeah, you're doing awesome".
So I think it can be a negative thing.
But I think it's just finding that balance that we want it to be encouraging and uplifting.
While still letting our expectations be known to make it realistic.
I'm usually more like holding back on praises...
Because once you really deserve it, then I'll give it to you.
Rachel is more like, "Yeah, you're awesome".
"I love you".
But I think they're getting the best of both worlds with that.
Okay, so this next thing is kind of shocking to me.
I didn't grow up in this sort of like being raised by parents this way.
Is the fact that in America, parents usually send their kids to daycare at such an early age.
Usually from a baby up to like when they're kids to daycare.
Whereas in Asia, usually if we have access to it, we have family watch the kids.
You know, while we go to work as parents.
And I think part of the reason for that is because in Asia...
There's multi-generations of people leaving the same household, so that's doable, right.
And I really really wanted that so much for my children.
And it took me some time to convince her parents.
I'm like, "Hey, come and move in with us. Help with the kids".
You get to spend good time with the kids.
The kids will enjoy your company at the same time, you know.
We get to give you a house to live in. You know, it works great, right.
So I like that and I'm glad that we get to do it and her parents are on board.
But the vast majority of Americans, usually...
And all our friends who are young parents, they're all send their kids to daycare.
Okay, this is also kind of shocking to me.
When I was growing up in Asia as a kid,
My parents, whenever we have a school holiday...
Those are the best times because that's the time that my parents would like plan our vacations.
To do stuff, to go travel...
And see our other family members, hang out with them, with cousins and all that.
So usually like a lot of family time, a lot of like entertainment, going places, traveling.
But in America, in summer which is usually when the school break is...
Parents would send their kids to summer camp.
So what is summer camp?
So there's two different kinds of summer camp.
One is like a day camp...
Where you send kids where they can learn about different activities, play sports, whatnot.
And then there's overnight camp...
Which is usually like a week long, and you send your kid away for a week.
They stay there, they sleep there. They learn lots of things and then they come home.
I didn't realize that's like an abnormal thing outside of America.
Because that's what I grew up doing.
We go to summer camp, and it was the best time ever. Yeah.
You're outside and you're having friends, it's awesome.
Rachel used to work at a summer camp. I did for many years.
So this last one it's not really like parenting. It's more cultural, I think.
But it's still kind of shocking to me, so I'm gonna put this in the list...
Is the fact that kids are allowed to go door- to-door to ask for candy during Halloween.
One day, I didn't know this wasn't normal.
So on Halloween, they go trick-or-treating, door-to-door and say trick or treat.
And then people give them candy.
We don't give our kids candy and our kids have never been trick-or-treating.
I'm not against this, but it is kind of a weird concept. Yeah.
I don't know. I could do without trick- or-treating. I've never actually been.
But a lot of Americans love it, do it every year.
But you can't do it any other day except for October 31st.
So those are some of the shocking ways,
I, we have discovered how American parents raise their kids.
We probably missed a bunch, so let us know down in the comments below if there are other things.
But if not, guys thank you so much for watching.
Don't forget to like this video, hit that subscribe button.
And we really really hope to see you in the next video, alright.
Bye. Bye.