Perfectionistic yet sensitive to criticisms, INFJs don’t like to admit that they do in
fact care about other people’s opinions of them.
Of course, as this personality type matures through life these worries become more irrelevant
to them, however, is there a way for the INFJ to let go of these insecurities when it’s
most crucial?
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os!
Today we’re going to be discussing exactly how INFJs can stop caring what people think
of them.
Before we get into it, we’d love it if you liked and subscribe to our channel, as well
as to click the post notification bell so you never miss a video!
Number 1: Remember, most people are too busy thinking about themselves
The first and most important rule for INFJs to keep in mind when it comes to facing their
perfectionism and people pleasing would be that most people are just as busy worrying
about their own achievements.
In fact, if you think about it, it’s no surprise that the people around us are just
as busy worrying about themselves as we are.
Meaning they don’t have a moment to stop and give enough thought about you and your
life to really care.
Of course, INFJs take the time to analyze these things about other certain people, but
in reality, not many people stop to think about them.
For most people, when they make a subconscious judgment about someone else, the thought comes
just as fast as it leaves.
Our minds are busy places, if we were constantly worrying about what everyone around us is
doing, we wouldn’t be able to function!
Number 2: Keep it in perspective
One thing a lot of people forget, including the INFJ, is that human’s opinions aren’t
as scary or even realistic as they seem.
Made up of their past experiences, stories they’ve heard, and their vast worldly views,
most times people’s opinions have very little to do with the person they are about.
Most people don’t consider the unique perspectives behind each human, meaning their opinions
are based solely on how they like to live their lives.
So, INFJs can keep in mind that every decision or action in life should be made under their
own perspective, not that of anyone else’s.
As the advice-giving type, deep down INFJs know that what’s good for someone else’s
personality may be terrible for you, and vice versa.
Number 3: Remember that nobody lives your life but you
Not only are you nowhere in the equation of another person’s opinion, but they don’t
have to deal with the repercussions of your life decisions, so why should their opinion
matter to you in the first place?
INFJs are great for giving unbiased advice to others because they can paint a picture
of what the end result would look like for that person.
However, not many people consider these long term projections when making judgments towards
others.
Therefore, INFJs and anyone else who truly cares what others think of them must keep
in mind that nobody’s opinions will be more accurate than your own because it’s your
life, and nobody but you will ever have to live it.
Which brings us to our next point..
Number 4: Make your own decisions
With the ability to see multiple perspectives, INFJs are always open to hearing people’s
opinions but it doesn’t stop them from overanalyzing whether or not their decisions are in the
right direction.
Whether they admit it or not, INFJs are influenced by people’s perspective, especially if they’re
from someone they respect.
Yet, what they must keep in mind is that the only reason their friends, family, and coworkers
like to share their opinions is because you have probably asked them too at one point
or another - meaning what you do with the information is all up to you!
INFJs often fall for the trap of caring what other people think of them because they’re
afraid of letting people down, or being portrayed as something we’re not.
While it feels good to know that a personal decision has been filtered through different
perspectives, it could be considered a tactic to take the heat off our backs should the
decision backfire.
Number 5: Remember you’re guided by your intuition
INFJs have a very strong intuition and it can take some practice to really understand
how they can use it to their advantage.
This 6th sense allows this personality type to easily pick up on things that others completely
overlook because it’s not in the details that they find their answers, but through
their gut feelings.
Ironically, as the INFJ builds their trust in their intuitive abilities, they not only
gain serious confidence in their decision making skills, but also in their self confidence
to be able to fully trust these feelings.
So by slowly choosing their gut feelings no matter how other people feel about it, INFJs
usually end up leading themselves in the exact direction they need to be.
Number 6: Only please your own expectations
But how is an INFJ supposed to follow their intuition and please everyone in the process?
Well.. that’s not how this works.
INFJs need to always remember that life’s simply too short to dedicate it to pleasing
everyone's expectations and helping everyone in their own lives.
Even the expectations of the ones they love the most should be taken lightly, and should
never be put above their own goals and desires.
When this ambitious personality type makes the choice to only entertain their own expectations,
they’re able to experience their successes more deeply and learn from their failures
head-on.
Living life under the opinions of others as an INFJ takes away their individuality and
independence which is one of the worst things this free-spirit can do to themselves.
Number 7: Peoples opinions are constantly changing
Humans are so interesting when it comes to their beliefs and opinions with how little
evidence they have that they’re correct.
If you think about it, everyone’s opinions on anything and everything, including the
deeply set morals of the INFJ, are constantly changing!
Opinions are rarely set in stone and when we remind ourselves just how fluid they are,
we can see how silly it is to place so much importance on what other people are thinking.
For example, maybe a new co-worker thinks you’re rude because you didn’t hold the
door open for them by accident, yet, when the next day comes along and you do hold the
door open for them, their opinion is automatically changed.
Number 8: Stop overthinking
Overthinking is a pesky habit that comes over the best of us, and INFJs know it all too
well.
With laser sharp analyzing skills and the imagination of a dreamer, there's never a
time an INFJ isn’t overthinking.
However, sometimes that can lead straight to assumptions, and that’s exactly what
INFJs need to avoid when it comes to caring about what other people think about them.
Overthinking easily blows things out of proportion, even the INFJ can end up taking the tone of
voice, the time it was said, and the context it was said in, to fabricate a story that
is far from the truth.
It’s best to stop this overthinking in its tracks, and try to intentionally replace it
with positive thoughts.
If it’s a compliment, take it for what it is and stop telling yourself that the other
person was “just trying to be nice”.
Number 9: Find a self-respecting role model
Role models have their place beyond childhood dreams.
In fact, we all want someone we admire and can look up to in life, and for the INFJ who
prefers to march to the beat of their own drum, it can be pretty tricky finding people
they can relate to.
In fact, that’s a difficulty that causes many INFJs to doubt themselves and how attainable
their goals really are, because they’re usually the black sheep of the family.
However, luckily with the vast social media world, sometimes it’s helpful to find a
vlogger or influencer that has similar interests.
Once INFJs have a little more for their imagination to feed on with proof that someone is living
out their desires somewhere in the world, the easier it is for them to follow their
dreams.
Number 10: Ask for constructive feedback from trusted sources
Last but not least, INFJs, stop asking for everyone's opinions as if they’re a matter
of fact that will make or break your success.
People are too quick to offer their opinions on matters that they quite frankly just know
nothing about.
If you’re really in a pickle, and can’t seem to make a decision for yourself - don’t
ruminate about it until you make yourself crazy - just reach out to a few trusted people
that have experienced a thing or too.
INFJs are great at learning to use constructive feedback to build up their own decision on
a matter rather than taking every piece of information and trying to stitch it all together,
it just takes a little practice.
Well, that’s it for today psychos.
So, as an INFJ, would you say you care what other people think of you?
Let us know in the comments below.
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