Matt: Many guys think that a woman wants a man with boatloads of money, Brad Pitt looks, and a huge c**k…
but that’s not the whole story.
You just need to understand the "Psychology of Attraction" and what women instinctively
look for in a man.
My name is Matt Artisan from The Attractive Man, and here are 15 psychological tricks to
get a girl to like you:
-ABC Intro-
TheAttractiveMan.com
Matt: Before we start, make sure to subscribe to this channel. If you're not already subscribed,
then go ahead and do it now.
Over the past 8 years I’ve personally coached guys live in 40 different countries, and my students
get results because what I teach is simple and based on science and psychology.
And keep in mind that each one of these can be an entire video on it’s own.
#1: Emotional Contagion Numerous studies have shown that your emotions
can trigger the same emotions in another person.
In other words, she can feel what you feel.
If you are feeling excited about something, she’ll feel excited too.
This is a powerful principle that can also be used against you and this is where most guys screw
up the attraction.
A guy will go up to a girl and if he feels a bit awkward and nervous, then she’ll feel
it too, and women hate that awkward nervous feeling.
Now on the flip side, you can also use this to get women turned on and aroused.
If you're feeling turned on, then by definition, she will feel turned on as well
So don’t hide your feelings for her.
If you are feeling turned on by her, then allow it show through your body language, facial expressions,
and voice tonality. You can also show your attraction to her through your behavior.
Flirt with her, touch her, get close to her, etc.
#2: Social Proof Social proof is when the people around you
influence your attitude or behavior.
It’s the idea that if other people like something then it must be good.
When a woman first spots you in a social context she doesn't know if you’re worthy to talk
to or not.
So she’ll look at how other people are responding to you to determine how she should respond.
Are there a group of people enjoying your presence?
If so, then she’ll assume you’re an enjoyable guy.
But if you’re sitting alone, or people are responding negatively to you then she’ll
assume the opposite.
So be the “Social Butterfly.”
Even if you are alone, mingle and have fun conversations with people
Women WILL notice.
You can also apply this online on Facebook, Instagram or dating sites.
Make sure to have pictures of you with other people.
She’ll assume that if other people like you then you must be a cool guy.
#3 is Preselection. Preselection, similar to social proof, states that if a woman sees you with other women,
then she will naturally become more attracted to you. Because she'll assume
that you must have qualities that other women desire.
The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that women were more attracted to men who
were already in a relationship than those who are single.
That being said, you don’t need to be in a relationship to use “preselection.”
An easy way to apply this is to go out to bars with your female friends.
You will become a lot more noticeable and get better reactions from women if you are
with other women VS being alone or with your guy friends.
But what if you don’t have any female friends?
Go to the bar early and start chatting up groups of girls and just befriend them.
When more women arrive they’ll see that you are hanging out with women and become more interested.
Another way to do this is to casually mention other women in your life throughout the conversation.
Just don’t overdo it or you might come off as a player.
#4 is Exclusivity.
The Journal of Applied Psychology found that humans place a higher value on objects that
are scarce and lower value on objects that are abundant.
Based on the same principle, if you’re willing to sleep with any woman, then your value will drop.
And if you are always available at her beckon notice then your value drops.
So don’t always be available at any moment. Have other things going on in your life.
And make sure to have standards beyond her looks.
An easy way to convey this is to ask her a qualification question such as, “besides
your cute looks tell me one thing interesting thing about you” or “I really am into fitness do you like to work out?”
This shows that you have standards and that you won’t date her based on her looks alone.
#5 is Oxytocin. a.k.a. The "Love hormone"
Oxytocin is a hormone that causes people to become attached and grow close personal bonds.
Research shows that after women give birth, they have high amounts of oxytocin, which
makes them feel love and affection for their newborn. Without this survival mechanism,
mothers would be more inclined to leave their kids.
This same hormone is applied to the bonding and affection of couples.
One way to release oxytocin is through physical touch, so become the “hugging type.”
Give her a giant bear hug and twirl her around in a circle.
Or just become a guy that is comfortable touching women.
Notice things she’s wearing and use that as a way to touch her.
#6 is The Extended Gaze
Social psychologist Zick Rubin discovered that two people in conversation normally make
eye contact only 30% to 60% of the time. Couples who are in love, however, look at each other
75% of the time or more.
When you are looking directly at your partner, you show that you're totally focused on what
she is saying and that you feel relaxed and open with this person.
How much we look into someone's eyes not only helps establish intimacy and is another way
to release oxytocin, but it also reveals how much intimacy might already be present.
So when in conversation with a woman you like, maintain
strong eye contact with her. About 75% of the time or more.
#7 is the Status Trigger. The Journal of Psychology of Sexuality found that women prefer men
with status and resources.
This is based on evolutionary psychology where a high status man can provide a better future
for her and her offspring.
One of the biggest indicators of status is leadership.
The leader of a group of primates tends to have the highest status.
So be the one who in your group that takes charge, makes decisions and leads your group.
Create the plan for the night. Decide where to go and what to do.
#8 is The Instant Status Signal. When you dress high status women will assume
you are a high status man and be more attracted to you.
And nothing screams high status more than a well tailored suit.
A suit can suggest monetary success, security, and women often say that a man in a nice suit
is the equivalent to a woman wearing lingerie. So suit up!
Barney: Suit up!
Matt: But even if that's not your style, class up your attire, wear quality clothes, and make sure
they are well tailored because women will notice.
And it’s one way they determine your status.
Real quick, remember, if you want to know exactly what to say to
turn things sexual, make sure to check out my free Escalation Cheat Sheet
that lists some of my best ways to spark sexual tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom.
Its filled with advanced escalation techniques that turn a friendly vibe into a more sexual
"I wanna rip your clothes off!" vibe. You can download that now by clicking the link down in the description.
#9 is The Personality Hack. A study in 2014 found that having a positive
personality actually increases the attractiveness of your face.
I mean, think about it... are you more attracted to women with fun, bubbly personalities or
women with depressing personalities?
So simply have fun and project a more positive vibe with the people around you.
Women will notice and find you more physically attractive.
#10 is The Proud Face. Now here’s where it gets interesting.
Researchers examined the relative sexual attractiveness of individuals showing emotional expressions
of happiness, pride, and shame compared with a neutral face.
The study found that too much smiling can actually be perceived as feminine or shy.
This most likely is because too much smiling releases tension and can make you seem nervous.
So smile, but don’t over do it with a prolonged ear to ear grin. (It just looks fake anyway)
The study also found that women find a guy with a “proud face” most attractive.
So the next time you are about to approach a woman you like, recall something you are
proud of and start the conversation while gleaming with pride.
#11 is Sexual Tension. In physics, “tension” is defined as a
force created by pulling in OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
When it comes to creating SEXUAL tension with a woman you need to apply two “forces”
to her emotions at the same time.
She needs to feel your attraction towards her and she needs to see you as a challenge.
This creates tension and curiosity because she’s never quite sure if you are 100% into her or not.
So show your interest then put up small, fun challenges in order for her to want more of
your interest and attention.
An example would be looking at her lips and saying, “I didn't hear a word you were saying,
All I could think about was kissing you, but that would be so bad." or “Alright, let’s go back to my place but
you have to promise me you'll behave, okay? No funny business."
Whenever you make a move to take things to the next level physically… whether it’s
holding hands, going for the kiss, or taking things bedroom…
PAUSE and back things up a step or two before moving forward again.
This is also known as “2 steps forward, 1 step back” and can save you from moving
too fast too soon.
#12 is Open Body Language. According to a study by Evolution and Human
Behavior, men with closed-off body language come off as less attractive, less active and
less persuasive.
So always display open body language.
Have a wide stance.
Stand tall and confident and Take up space.
#13 is Consistency Bias: The cognitive bias of remembering one's past
attitude and behavior as resembling present attitude and behavior.
You can use this to your advantage by getting her to agree to having a specific positive
quality, for example: “You know, you seem really fun.”
She’s then more likely to act more fun and friendly around you.
You could also say, “You seem really adventurous, are you the adventurous type?” or
“I like that you are really comfortable with your sexuality”.
If she agrees she’s likely to keep displaying those characteristics.
So if she sees herself as being adventurous and comfortable with her sexuality then she will likely stay
consistent with those attributes as you start to escalate things further.
#14: Preparation To Engage. Sexual psychophysiologist and neuroscientist,
Dr. Nicole Prause studied the human brain when you feel those ~butterflies~ we like
to call sexual tension and describes sexual tension as “our pleasurable interpretation
of the general body arousal and preparation to engage.”
In other words, your body is feeling the heat and is using that sexual tension as motivation
to GET IT ON.
When the brain starts thinking that the possibility of sex may occur, dopamine floods the system
and gets us excited.
So get her thinking about sex.
You can do it directly by asking a question like “I'm curious, where’s the craziest place that you’ve
ever had sex?” or indirectly by talking about a story that involves sex.
I actually like to take my dates to a sex shop as we just casually walking by
one I say “Hey come on, let’s go in here!”
Talking about sex can get her thinking about the possibility of having sex with you in the near future.
So make it a point to bring up the subject on the date.
Trust me, most girls love talking about it.
#15 is The Negation Principle.
Negation works twofold.
First it’s a fundamental principle that humans want what they can’t have.
Second it allows you to implant an idea into her brain and get her to think about it because
the subconscious brain cannot process negative commands.
It’s like the classic example of saying, “Don’t think of a pink elephant!(3x)” your
brain cannot help to think of it even though the instruction was not to.
So when you say: “You can come over for a little while, but we cant have sex tonight,
okay? No sex." Not only are you creating a psychological
barrier which instinctively creates more desire, but the unconscious brain can only processes
“We CAN have sex tonight.”
Now some of were are cool tactics to
take your skills to the next level, and others were complete personality hacks
to improve your social life and self-esteem.
Attracting women should simply be a byproduct of improving yourself daily, feeling grounded and confident,
and just having an overall great personality.
And remember, I created a “Free Escalation Cheat Sheet”
that lists some of the best ways to create sexual tension, turn a girl on,
and escalate things to the bedroom.
It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic - friendly
vibe, into a more sexual – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe.
This is very useful when you’re talking to girls and it’s going nowhere.
Click the image in the bottom right of the
screen right now to download your free Escalation Cheat Sheet.
There’s also a link down in the description.
Get it because you’ll want to keep it handy before you go out.
And if you’re not already subscribed, hit that subscribe button.
And if you want us to work with you infield, make sure to check out our boot camp schedule.
My name's Matt Artisan from The Attractive Man, and I'll see you in the next video.
TheAttractiveMan.com