Superhero strippers? Streetwalkin' beauty queens? 24/7 chicken mother-freakin' nuggets?!
All aboard the hot mess trainwreck! You can't unsee these awkward moments from "Wife Swap!"
Let's start with the episode that once broke the internet.
In Season 5, the upscale Stephens-Fowler family of San Francisco swapped wives
with the salt-of-the-earth Long family from small-town Missouri. And right off the bat,
the Stephens-Fowlers wanted America to know how elitist they were — which, of course,
backfired brilliantly. And after a walkthrough of the Long's house, Renee Stephens remarked,
"I'm guessing we're not looking at advanced degrees here."
Unlike her own home filled with organic groceries and fine art,
the Longs preferred fast food and paintball.
But throughout the two-week experience, San Francisco hubby
Stephen Fowler repeatedly berated swapped wife Gayla Long and snubbed middle-America.
"Your two languages appear to be bad English and redneck."
"She's a very rude lady, isn't she? But that's okay, she just doesn't have an education."
"God, that woman is the most stupid woman I've ever met in my life."
According to "Today," the comments sparked immediate backlash from the public. It even
spawned the now defunct StephenFowlerSucks.com, a Facebook group called "I Can not Stand Stephen
Fowler from 'Wife Swap,'" and death threats. In an interview with the Noe Valley Voice,
Fowler said he regretted going on the show. He revealed he was fired from his job two
weeks after the episode aired, and that it put a strain on his marriage, adding,
"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."
Back in Season 1, the conservative "gun-toting" Smoak family swapped with the liberal, free-spirit
Beaver family. But what made this episode so awkward was the tension between the Smoak couple.
Wife Aletha refused to share a bed with her husband Glen for over ten years,
because of his snoring. Opting instead for bunk beds, Glen admitted,
"I would like to have my wife be more loving, being more
close to me, and maybe get back to sleeping in the same bed."
During the first week of the swap, Glen proudly showed off "new wife" Amy Beaver to friends and
family at a bonfire gathering. But the cringe intensified with Glen confessing,
"I was expecting someone big and fat and ugly. I wish I had her as a wife."
Yikes. While we don't know how Aletha and Glen's marriage worked out, the Beavers made a comeback
on TikTok. Their daughter Emily designs and sells crocheted tops — which her parents proudly
model while they dance their yarn balls off. This Superhero episode got super uncomfortable.
In Season 6, the Cyboran family of Wisconsin swapped with superhero duo, the Owen-Ladinos.
While the Cyborans moved out to the country to escape big city life, the Owen-Ladinos fought off
boring relationships by running superhero-themed couples workshops in New York City. They dressed
in costume at all times of day, much to the chagrin of their teenaged daughter.
"No…"
While we admire the Owen-Ladino swagger, they awkwardly didn't know how to read a
room. When wife Shanti met her new, conservative family for the first time, she dressed in her
midriff-exposed, short-skirted costume — which horrified everybody. As Brooke Cyboran noted,
"She kind of looks like a stripper to me. I thought it was very inappropriate. I mean, like,
she was wearing thigh highs and, trust me, I was sitting next to her, I got a very good view."
Season 1 offered an interesting take on family-friendly, primetime fare,
when the militant vegetarian Reimers family swapped with the loose and rowdy Bittner clan.
Parents Paul and Melissa Reimers prided themselves on raising their children with strict rules
and boundaries. And violations earned swift punishment. The kids even had a leather belt,
called "The Whacker," menacingly nailed to the back of their bedroom doors for spankings.
"Ideally, children should always do what they're told, but they don't."
Mercifully, we never saw The Whacker in practice during the episode. Still,
the image was shocking. Wife Cindy Bittner shared all of our own concerns, when she admitted,
"I didn't really think people were like this. Very controlling.
The kids are treated like robots, I think. I don't like it."
In Season 6, the goth Schroeders swapped wives with the hockey-obsessed, uber-competitive
Wardles. And the cringe crept in early with the Schroeders picnic-ing in the cemetery in their
haunted garb. Mom Sheila calls her children her "gothlings," and dad Eric, who worked for a ballet
company, makes his sons take dance lessons rather than playing football. To each their own, but it
was awkward to watch the kids confess that they aren't into the goth life. Son Alek even admitted,
"People sometimes make fun of my hair. They say I'm a girl."
Equally awkward on the other end of the spectrum are the Wardles,
who call their sons "losers" and other names when they mess up on the ice.
Mom Stacy is immediately uncomfortable when she gets switched into the gothic home, noting,
"They're freaks. They're freaks. They're absolute freaks."
Throughout the episode, Stacy and Eric got combative about each other's parenting methods
and names of all kinds were hurled between them. Stacy called Eric an "idiot" and Eric called Stacy
"a cancer" and then production called it a wrap. Season 5's off-the grid Padovan-Hickman
family of Virginia swapped with the suburban New Jersey Burroughs clan.
Describing themselves as "modern pioneers," the Padovan-Hickmans forgo electricity in a
log cabin with their two kids. While they grow their own food, they also conserve resources by
sharing bathwater and rarely flushing the toilet. Parents Delora and Steve also showed
off Delora's armpit hair that she has grown out for six years, with Steve going in for a whiff.
"My nightmare would be a woman that shaves every hair off of her body
so I can never get a [sniffs] scent of anything human about it."
Much to Steve's horror, his wife is swapped with Shannon Nicole Burroughs,
a materialistic mom who doesn't hesitate to drop serious coin on cosmetic surgeries and designer
trends. Steve took another stab at reminding viewers of his actual preferences, sharing,
"Shannon is wearing a lot of, I'm sure, expensive perfume, but I prefer the au
naturale a hundred percent of the time." Season 6 monster-hunting family, the Robinsons,
traded wives with the talent-managing Parker family. Tracy and Rob Robinson
are cryptozoologists who spend all their free time and money hunting monsters in Florida. Their
big game is the swamp ape — a cousin to Bigfoot — which they hope to take a picture of in the wild.
After the swap, Rob took new wife Andrea Parker on an overnight hunt
to find the swamp ape. He even showed off some special-ordered chimpanzee urine-soaked
bait to lure the creature out of hiding.
"Are you serious?"
"I am."
Unfortunately, no swamp apes were spotted on this trip. But things
got dramatic when Andrea flipped the house rules to focus on son Josh,
who prefers music over monsters. That involved Rob potentially selling his old action figures
and monster hunting gear to fund studio time for Josh. And Rob rejected it immediately.
"You can't live every breathing moment for your children, I mean c'mon now."
Andrea, in a fitting punishment, then sent Rob to his room, adding,
"He is very needy. He is like a big old baby." The feminist Boss family swapped with the
Gustaferro family, who cater to their teenage beauty queen Alicia, in Season 4. Described
as the "Princess of Pageantry," we watched Alicia get pampered throughout the episode,
with zero awareness of anyone else. Her parents even did her homework for her,
and gave her a Christmas gift every day. Apparently being beautiful is a full-time career.
"I do feel sorry for people that are not gorgeous people."
But things got serious, post-show. According to NY Daily News, Alicia
sued ABC for $100 million after the episode aired. The lawsuit claimed that "Wife Swap"
staged scenes to "maximize [Guastaferro's] public embarrassment." It also stated that Guastaferro
suffered from panic attacks and was forced to transfer schools due her brutal portrayal.
Alicia would later find herself in court for prostitution charges,
which were subsequently dropped. And then again for a lawsuit against the
owner of several strip clubs for unpaid overtime, according to the Buffalo News.
"Chicken nuggets is like my family."
Long live King Curtis! In Season 5, we met the Hollands of North Carolina, who loved demolition
derbies and happy kids. And that included allowing son Curtis — a.k.a. King Curtis — to eat all the
chicken nuggets his heart desired. The family swapped with the Browns, Joy and Demarcus , who
ran a fitness bootcamp and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle. So what happened when a wellness-minded
mom with good intentions got in the way of the King's chicken nuggets? Absolute chaos.
"I think Joy is too skinny and she needs to eat a little bit and be happy."
When Joy implemented her week of rules for the Hollands — including
no more processed foods and more vegetables — Curtis objected.
"Bacon is good for me!"
"She's gonna try and stop me, but she can't run in those little high heels."
This one isn't for the faint of stomach. In Season 3,
we meet the Haigwoods who were doomsday preppers in Iowa. They swapped with the modern,
city-dwelling Hess-Webb family, who spent much less time anticipating the end days.
The Haigwoods ate an exclusively "raw food diet," including raw chicken, eggs, and even rotting
meat. And teenage son Lee was caught on camera multiple times drinking raw eggs for breakfast.
He claimed he slugged down a dozen a day. But wait, it gets worse. The family also believed all
bacteria was good and refused to use chemicals to clean the house — and themselves. We watched the
family brush their teeth with raw butter, which they claimed tasted like bleu cheese. Gross.
During Kim Hess-Webb's week of rule changes, she took the whole family
to the doctor for check-ups and for dad Mike to talk to a nutritionist.
The dispute climaxed when Kim had the family eat cooked food at a restaurant for the first time,
and the Haigwoods claimed to feel sick after the meal. As Mike finally admitted of his kids,
"They're such troopers. And I want to do the rules, but I don't want to do it at their death."
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