( APPLAUSE )
HERE WE GO.
AND WE'RE OFF.
RIGHT OVER THERE.
WELCOME BACK.
FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS THE ONLY PERSON I CAN INTRODUCE
AS A BELOVED ACTOR, "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING AUTHOR, AND
PROFESSIONAL WOODWORKER.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, NICK OFFERMAN.
♪ ♪ ♪
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> BOY, IS IT GOOD TO BE BACK.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A CALMING PRESENCE, NICK OFFERMAN.
>> THANK YOU.
I'LL TRY AND KEEP IT THAT WAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> SHOULD I TALK SLOWER?
>> Stephen: I DOUBT THAT'S POSSIBLE.
( LAUGHTER )
PHOTO I SAW LAST NIGHT, WHERE WE PROMOD YOU-- HEY, TOMORROW
NIGHT, NICK OFFERMAN-- THE PROMO SHOWED YOU HAD THE BIG BEARD.
HOW DO YOU MAKE THE DECISION ON WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE FULL
BIBLICAL PATRIARCH, AND WHEN YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE BE
RUSTIC.
>> I CALL IT THE FULL GIMLY AROUND MY HOUSE.
>> Stephen: VERY GOOD.
>> MY WIFE-- I DIDN'T REALIZE SHE WAS TOLERATING MY WHISKERS
FOR A COUPLE OF DECADES.
AND FINALLY, SHE SAID, ", YOU KNOW, WHAT?
IS THERE AN OPTION THAT DOESN'T ENVELOPE A MOUTH FULL OF
THISTLES FOR ME?" >> Stephen: IS THIS OKAY?
BECAUSE THIS LEVEL, THIS LENGTH IS MORE PRICKLY.
>> HERE'S THE THING, ONE OF THE HATS I WEAR, WHICH YOU
GENEROUSLY JUST DESCRIBED IS TO WORK AS AN ACTOR, AND I HAD A
COUPLE OF RECENT JOBS WHERE I WAS CLEAN SHAVEN.
I FINISHED ONE SEVEN DAYS AGO.
( LAUGHTER )
ANYTHING YET, SO I'M LETTING IT --
>> Stephen: UNTIL SHE STRABZ YOU DOWN AND TAKES THE NORLEICO
TO YOUR FACE YOU'LL KEEP GOING?
>> I'M HOPING I CAN CONTINUE TO STAY IN THE SHADOWS.
>> Stephen: SURE, SHE'S NOT GOING TO WATCH THIS.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW, RIGHT.
>> PROBABLY NOT.
>> Stephen: YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU SAT DOWN.
THAT'S THE TABLE-- WE ALWAYS HAVE THIS OUT HERE-- THAT'S THE
TABLE YOU GAVE ME YEARS AGO.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> IT'S SINCERELY MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I REMEMBERED.
>> Stephen: IT TRULY IS.
>> IN MY HEAD, IT WASN'T THIS INCREDIBLE.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THAT WOOD AGAIN?
IS THAT SYCAMORE?
WHAT IS THAT?
>> IT HAS A FEW DIFFERENT NAMES.
IT'S CALLED BAY LAUREL.
>> Stephen: LIKE WHERE BAY LEAVES COME FROM?
>> YEAH, OR A PEPPER TREE.
>> Stephen: I COULD THROW THAT INTO A SOUP.
>> YOU COULD.
OR YOU COULD-- YOU COULD GRIND IT UP AND MAKE A POLTIS WITH IT.
>> Stephen: A POLTIS?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: A POTLISWITH MY TINGURE.
YOU'RE AN ACTOR, WOODWORKER, AND 17th CENTURY DOCTOR AT THE
SAME TIME.
LEACH CRAFT.
YOU'RE A JACK OF MANY TRADES, IF NOT ALL.
AND YOU'VE WRITTEN ANOTHER BOOK, "WHERE THE DEER AND ANTELOPE
PLAY."
IN THIS, ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THIS IS THAT YOU WRITE
ABOUT A HIKING TRIP YOU TOOK WITH TWO AMAZING FELLOWS.
YOU KNOW I'M HUGE FANS OF.
THIS IS YOU, JEFF TWEEDY OF "WILCO," AND GEORGE SAUNDERS,
THE GREAT AMERICAN SHORT STORY WRITER AND NOVELIST.
HOW-- HOW ON EARTH DID THIS COME ABOUT?
I HEAR-- I HEARD A HINT THAT I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS
BURGEONING BROMANCE.
>> YOU PLAY INTO THE STORY.
IT'S EVEN IN THE BOOK.
FOR SOME REASON, IN THE YEAR 2014, I WAS WORKING ON MY SECOND
BOOK, CALLED "GUMPTION," AND I INTERVIEWED-- I INTERVIEWED 21--
OR PROFILE 21 HEROES.
SOME OF THEM ARE DEAD, LIKE GEORGE WASHINGTON.
BUT JEFF AND GEORGE BOTH FEATURED IN THE BOOK.
SO SEPARATELY, I MET THEM.
AND WE FELL IN LOVE.
SOMETHING WAS IN THE AIR WHERE-- IT WASN'T EVEN SPRING.
BUT WE-- I MET THEM SEPARATELY AND WE HUGGED AND JUST AGREED TO
BE TOGETHER.
WE WERE, LIKE -- >> Stephen: SURE, YOU CAN'T
EXPLAIN IT.
>> "LET'S KEEP THIS FOREVER."
AND THEN THAT SAME YEAR, THE TWO OF THEM WERE ON THE FINAL
EPISODE OF "THE COLBERT REPORT," AND THEN WE ALL REPORTED TO EACH
OTHER THAT WE-- I MET-- SO I MET GEORGE.
WE'RE ALL IN LOVE.
AND SO -- >> Stephen: YOU'RE A THROUPLE
AT THIS POINT.
>> WE'RE A THREE-WAY BROMANCE, A TRIPOD.
>> Stephen: MUCH LIKE THAT TABLE OVER THERE.
>> THE THREE-LEGGED STOOL, DOESN'T WOBBLE.
>> Stephen: BUT HOW DID THIS-- HOW DID THAT-- NOT TO SHORTEN
YOUR STORY, BUT HOW DID THAT BECOME THIS?
>> SO WE STARTED A THREE-WAY TEXT THREAD, AND THAT'S OUR MAIN
SORT OF CHAT ROOM, WHERE WE COMMISERATE, WE BOUNCE PROJECTS
OFF EACH OTHER.
AND EVENTUALLY, JEFF AND I WERE PLAYING A SHOW TOGETHER AT LARGO
IN LOS ANGELES.
I WAS OPENING FOR HIM AT A STAGE SHOW.
AND HE-- I WAS TELLING HIM ABOUT THIS BOOK IDEA, AND HE SAID-- IT
WAS HIS IDEA-- WHY DON'T YOU AND GEORGE AND I GO WALK SOMEWHERE
BEAUTIFUL AND YOU CAN USE THE GORGEOUS, PHILOSOPHICAL THINGS
GEORGE AND I TEND TO SAY FOR YOUR BOOK.
AND I SAID, "THANK YOU, JEFF TWEEDY.
I THINK I WILL DO THAT."
AND I IMMEDIATELY-- IT WAS LIKE "BOOK ME A NATIONAL PARK HIKING
TRIP FOR ME AND JEFF AND GEORGE."
>> Stephen: WHERE IS THIS ONE?
>> THAT'S GLACKIER NATIONAL PARK.
>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER BEEN.
I'VE NEVER BEEN.
>> I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU STILL HAVE-- DO YOU GUYS STILL HAVE
THE TEXT CHAIN GOING?
>> WE DO.
>> Stephen: COULD WE TEXT THEM RIGHT NOW.
>> SURE, LET ME -- >> Stephen: LET'S SEND THEM A
VIDEO, SEE IF THEY RESPOND.
>> LET ME FIRE UP -- >> Stephen: YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO SEE.
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SEE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> OKAY, WE'LL SEND THEM -- >> Stephen: SEND A VIDEO.
>> AND WE'RE ROLLING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A PHOTO.
THAT'S A ( BLEEP ) PHOTO.
WOODWORKING, NOT ELECTRONICS.
>> IT'S MY THING.
IT'S PART OF MY BRAND THAT I'M NOT GOOD AT COMPUTERS.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> VIDEO... SELFIE.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> FLIP THAT AROUND.
>> Stephen: SURE.
HEY, GEORGE!
>> HELLO, GUYS.
>> Stephen: HEY, JEFF.
WE'RE HERE ON THE SHOW.
DO YOU WANT TO SHOW THEM WE'RE ON THE SHOW?
FLIP THAT AROUND?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I'D LOVE TO GO.
I HIKE, I DON'T WANT TO GET IN ON YOUR THING HERE.
BUT I HIKE, AND I ALSO CHAFE.
SO NOT VERY FAR, PLEASE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND SOMEONE BRING TALCOM TOWDER.
>> GEORGE, WE CAN TEACH THEM YOUR BUTTER TRICK.
SEE, I LOVE YOU GUYS.
>> Stephen: BUTTER TRICK?
BUTTER...
( APPLAUSE )
IS THAT COW BUTTER OR COCOA BUTTER?
>> EITHER WORK S.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WHEN WE RETURN,
I'LL ASK NICK ABOUT ROAMING THE COUNTRY WITH HIS LOVELY WIFE
MEGAN MALLALY IN AN R.V.
JOIN US, WON'T YOU?