thank you
I date younger men
predominantly men in their twenties
and when I date younger men I have sex
with younger men
and when I have sex with younger men I
encounter very directly and personally
the real ramifications of the creeping
ubiquity of hardcore pornography in our
culture
so in an era where hardcore porn is more
freely and widely available on the
internet than ever before and where kids
are therefore able to access it at a
younger and younger age than ever before
there is an entire generation growing up
that believes that what you see in
hardcore pornography is the way that you
have sex
and this is particularly exacerbated
because we live in a puritanical double
standards culture where people believe
that a teen abstinence campaign will
actually work where parents are too
embarrassed to have conversations about
sex with their children and where
educational institutions are terrified
of being Politically Incorrect if they
pick up those conversations and so it's
not surprising that hardcore pornography
de facto has become sex education
now as a mature experienced confident
Elder woman when I encounter this I have
no problem realizing that a certain
amount of re-education Rehabilitation
and reorientation has to take place
anybody who is offended by sexually
explicit language please cover their
ears now and I will raise my hand where
you can uncover them
I have no problem responding as I have
regularly had to actually no thank you
very much I would much rather you did
not come on my face
my concern is
both with the young guy who believes
because hardcore pornography has taught
him but my concern is particularly with
a young girl whose boyfriend wants to
come on her face she does not want him
to come on her face but hardcore porn
has taught her that all men love coming
on women's faces all women love having
their faces come on and therefore she
must let him come on her face and she
must pretend to like it
so
so I am launching at Ted today I am
unveiling make love notporn.com
a website that posts the myths of
hardcore porn and balances them with the
reality
and it's important to say by the way
that this is absolutely not about
judgment this is not about good and bad
sex is the area of human experience that
Embraces the vast possible range of
proclivities
this is also not anti-porn I'm a fan of
hardcore porn I watch it regularly
myself although my overriding criteria
When selecting it has to be to find
something that does not resemble overly
open heart surgery
um but because the porn industry is
driven by men funded by men managed by
men directed by men and targeted at men
porn tends to present one world view
porn says this is the way it is and what
I want to say is not necessarily
so
um please go to make love notporn.com I
want to ask the Ted audience to do two
things be aware this is an issue because
I would never have realized that if I
had not encountered it myself and please
visit the website please see what you
think
um comment
um and please pass it on please send the
link to anybody you think would be
interested and use it to start a
dialogue use it to reframe
use it to reframe and open healthy
conversation around sex in order to help
and facilitate open healthy and better
sexual relationships thank you very much