The black sheep, the odd one out, we’ve heard it all.. The INFJ personality type definitely
stands out when it comes to family dynamics. With a reluctance to follow the norm and a
lively curiosity that leads them to think and live outside the box - it’s no surprise that being the
only INFJ in the family comes with it’s own ups and downs that only true INFJ’s could relate to.
Welcome or welcome back Psych-o! Today we’re going to be talking all about the relatable
struggles of being the only INFJ in the family. Before we start, have you liked
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Number 1: They are naturally the black sheep Said to be the rarest of all 16 personality types,
there's no wonder why the INFJ is often considered the black sheep of the family.
With an intuition-led dominant function and naturally highly imaginative thought processes,
the INFJ learns at an early age that they hold qualities that their friends and family
can’t relate to. They often feel different from others and misunderstood by most,
which can end up feeling quite alienating for this rare type. In fact, the INFJ is born with
a noticeably old-soul mentality that grants them a greater understanding of certain life concepts,
but these understandings require them to go inward - which is one of the main reasons the INFJ tends
to keep to themselves. Soin other words, most INFJ’s grow up to accept that they will always
know their family members on a deeper level than their family members will ever know them.
Number 2: They feel every bit of household tension
With the tried and true position of being the voluntold family mediator,
the INFJ carries a responsibility that most family members fail to recognize. In fact,
aside from this challenging family duty, the INFJ is also dealt with being a highly sensitive
empathetic type who can’t help but to sense and absorb the feelings of the people around them.
While this allows the INFJ to understand their loved one’s emotions on a deeper level in order to
properly meditate, it can also cause some serious emotional issues should the INFJ be faced with a
chaotic family environment. Actually, at times, the INFJ can subconsciously take on their family
member’s burdens without really realizing it, which makes a tense and dispirited home especially
painful for the INFJ to manage. This is one of the main drivers behind this mediator type’s need for
harmony within their outer environment - which is the exact reason why they go above and beyond
to maintain the peace within their family unit. Number 3: Their need for alone time may interfere
It’s a well known fact that this introverted intuitive type requires a great deal of rest
and recharge time, alone in their solitude-haven. But how does this affect their position within
a family? Well, since it’s so difficult for an INFJ to really explain to the people around them
exactly why they require a temporary break from life without seeming overly-dramatic
or in an attempt to avoid their family members, it can definitely cause some tension.
Whether the INFJ is in the family position of a parent, partner or sibling - they may
hold back from expressing their needs to avoid upsetting or burdening their loved ones. However,
if they neglect this need for alone time when most necessary, they may find themselves being
rather impatient or snappy towards the ones they love, which they only end up regretting later on.
So, although it may be difficult, most INFJ have to learn when to communicate
their energy levels to avoid further tension or disharmony within their family relationships.
Number 4: They can seem a little nosey An INFJs understanding and compassionate nature
definitely makes for an amazing family member that anyone would be happy to have in their lives.
Yet, there are definitely times where this need to see the best in the people they love
may do more harm than good. INFJs have a tendency to try and fix things,
even when the other person doesn’t think it requires fixing. They may sense that
their sibling or family member needs guidance and support and as a result, they tend to have a very
difficult time keeping to themselves. Of course, all they want to do is help their loved ones,
yet these subtle gestures can come off as being nosey, pushy, judgmental or
even demanding at times. Luckily, because of their strong analytical nature, eventually,
most INFJs learn to gage when and how to deliver their advice without seeming intrusive.
Number 5: They value their siblings over most relationships
For an INFJ who grew up with siblings, they may feel like their siblings are the only ones who
truly know them inside and out. Of course, taking into consideration family dynamics and age gaps
between siblings, according to introvertdear.com, most INFJs are quite close to their brothers and
sisters in adulthood. Since they’re so reluctant to let their guard down completely in everyday
social scenarios, when an INFJ is surrounded by the people they’ve known since birth,
they can feel a noticeable sense of relaxation and relief that they can’t find in most relationships.
In fact, introvert dear.com concluded through a private study
of 5,000 participants that according to the birth order theory, the INFJ only child
is extremely rare. Which makes researchers believe that having siblings through childhood
serves as a fostering ground for the INFJ personality type to develop.
Number 6: They can seem quite unpredictable
Most INFJs can probably recall a time when they were told they were thought of as the one with
the most complex behaviour and decision-making tendencies in the family. With contradictory
habits and elaborate out-of-the-box beliefs, there’s no doubt the highly imaginative INFJ
brings a different dynamic to family settings. With a big-pictured view of life and a need to
find the deeper meaning of things, INFJs are called to make decisions in life that
may seem out of character. And..as a result, conclusion-jumpers may see them as unpredictable;
or even unstable at times, when in reality, the INFJ feels in complete control of their actions,
analyzing and committing to every direction they take. What it all comes down to is the fact that
INFJs don’t always know how to (or necessarily want to) communicate their reasoning behind
their seemingly unpredictable lifestyle, which just adds to their already mysterious nature.
Number 7: They may experience serious self-questioning
Especially when talking about an INFJs childhood and adolescence years, this
introspective personality type may compare their beliefs and ideas to that of their parents and
siblings and eventually realize there’s something seriously different about the way they see (and
feel) the world around them. As we mentioned, the INFJ begins to understand early on in life
that they’re quite different from the people, but when it comes to siblings and family members
that are exposed to the same surroundings and lessons in childhood, INFJs can get stuck in a
rut of wondering why they are so different from their family. This is especially true for INFJs
brought up surrounded by overly extroverted or sensor personality types, for obvious reasons..
Number 8: Their sensitivity can make them seem stubborn
INFJs are truly sensitive to overly stimulating surroundings for long periods of time, yet they
also don’t want to be seen as the person who wants to leave early or cut the party short. In fact,
one of the INFJs biggest pet peeves is when attention is drawn to them because of their
sensitive, seemingly melodramatic nature. Whether it’s family gatherings, celebrations,
obligations, or anything that requires an INFJ to make an appearance for longer than desired,
they can automatically make this introverted type feel uneasy. Of course, to remain polite and avoid
conflict, INFJs usually end up biting the bullet for the remainder of their expected presence.
Yet, once it’s over, you can be sure it will be a near impossible task to convince them to
go again any time soon! Stubborn? Maybe.. But we’ll just call it “boundary setting”.
Well, that's it for today, psych-os. So, are you the only INFJ in your family? If so,
comment ‘INFJ Family’ down below! Also, please don’t forget to leave us a like,
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