I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to make a video on social anxiety.
As someone who has struggled with, and (to a certain extent) still struggles with it,
I believe I have some insight that I can share for those of you who might need it. I understand
exactly how frustrating it is. I’ve struggled with it for most of my life, believe it or not.
To put it simply, social anxiety sucks. It can be the main obstacle stopping you
from attracting a girlfriend or boyfriend, making new friends, advancing your career,
or giving a confident presentation in front of the whole class.
It’s the cause of so many frustrating moments. You could see your goal right in front of you,
and know that it’s reachable, but a million negative thoughts start racing through your head,
and your heart beats at twice the speed it normally does. The more this happens, the
more you start to believe you have no control over your body, and this is when shame starts to arise.
But don’t let the shame fool you. If you have social anxiety then chances are you’re probably an
amazing person, but this one thing is preventing you from expressing yourself the way you want to.
I’m just going to be honest, I’m not sure if social anxiety is possible to get rid
of completely, but as I’ve learned throughout the years, there are definitely ways to cope with it,
and make it less of an issue. One character that reminds me of the
challenges that social anxiety can bring is Charlie Brown.
One of the first things you’ll notice about this character
is how much time he spends living in his own head. He deeply overthinks every situation,
and spends most of his time imagining the worst case scenario,
dwelling on a dozen negative thoughts, then wonders why he feels so miserable 5 minutes later.
It’s difficult to socialize when you’re feeling depressed or hopeless. In his defense, this isn’t
totally his fault. His quote-unquote “friends” are partially responsible for his anxious behaviors.
I’m especially looking at you Lucy. You’re the last one that should be giving psychiatric advice.
I have advice that’s much more useful for Charlie Brown. How about... don’t make
friends with people like Lucy. Seriously, my advice for everyone watching this video
is to be mindful of the people you consistently hang around or listen to,
as they will alter your belief systems. Make sure your friends have your back,
and they’re actually good friends supporting you. All Lucy ever does is put Charlie Brown down.
Something else you’ll notice about his character is how desperate he is for validation,
but is unable to give validation to himself. In the 1969 movie, “A Boy Named Charlie Brown,”
he uses the Spelling B as the perfect opportunity to prove to the whole class that
he isn’t a failure. He even says to himself that he doesn’t actually care if he wins,
he just wants to impress everyone. But why even put that much pressure on yourself?
Since when was it ever a requirement that you have to prove everyone wrong in order to feel
worthy of love? That's nonsense. The moment you realize you don’t have to prove anything to anyone
is the moment you feel free from society’s expectations. That’s
when you’re able to express yourself in ways that resonate with you, and your personality.
To his credit, everything goes according to his plan. His successes in the Spelling B turn him
into a celebrity, basically. However, the pressure of maintaining his status
eventually catches up to him, to the point where his life becomes stressful. He ends up finishing
2nd in the race, then falls into an instant state of depression. All the status that he magically
obtained throughout the movie is no more, for the first time in his life his classmates were
respectful, and now they’ll probably go back to being disrespectful, he especially feels that
he let everyone down, and made a fool out of himself. His worst nightmare came true,
but instead of looking at it as a curse, Linus makes an effort to alter his friend’s perspective.
It’s not the end of the world, Charlie Brown. Finishing 2nd in the spelling B
is not that big of a deal.
When something doesn’t go our way socially, our immediate response is to act like
it’s the end of the world, but that’s just an illusion that we created. The reality is,
the sun is still shining, the birds are still singing,
your pets still love you, and there will be more opportunities to redeem yourself in the future.
The Peanuts Movie is similar to this plot, where again, he finally gains all the success and
validation that he dreamed of, but makes a choice to give it all away for the sake of integrity.
Again, he spends most of this movie living in his head… This time by contemplating what he
should say to his crush, “the red-haired girl.” He dwells on how to properly introduce himself,
how to make a good first impression, and if she would even like somebody like him,
but when he actually goes and talks to her near the end of the movie,
he finds out that she likes him for his compassion, honesty, and bravery.
If you struggle with social anxiety it’s easy to subconsciously think of yourself as someone who is
insecure, and a failure, but just like Charlie Brown, you could actually possess many good
qualities that could carry you through your social goals, and not even notice them because you’re too
busy worrying about your flaws. The fact that you even care about doing the right thing says a lot
about your character. This scene is a reminder that nobody really cares about your insecurities,
because they’re too busy worrying about their own. And if they do
for some strange reason judge you for your anxiety or insecurities, then that’s their problem,
not yours. People like Lucy, and her obnoxious friends need to get a life.
Many of us have more strengths than we realize. Sure, work on your weaknesses,
but don’t let them define who you are. You have gifts and talents just like everyone else.
I’ll leave you with this: The best teacher in life is experience. The more people you talk to,
the more you will say to yourself, “hey, that actually wasn’t so bad. That actually went a lot
better than I was expecting. All those negative thoughts I had in my head were complete nonsense.”
And those moments can do a lot for your confidence.