- Hey, honey, will you take out the trash?
- Sure thing, babe.
(fast energetic music begins) - Hey, dude, where you going?
- To take out the trash. - Yeah, good call.
Wanna stay on Kim's good side, right?
- Absolutely. - Because she's still mad
that we left the door wide open last night.
- Yeah, how did Sunny not leave?
- Well, maybe she did and then came back.
- Well, no way to know. - Yeah, there is.
You can check the security cameras.
- I've never done that before.
- Kim does it, like, every day,
so just, like, ask her for the login.
- She's probably kind of busy.
- Ask her now! (fast energetic music stops)
- Kim? (fingers drumming)
I mean, she's probably doing something else.
(fast energetic music resumes) - Interrupt her!
- No, she does not like that.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Remember, we're trying to smooth things over.
- Totally, dude.
- By emptying the trash! Come on!
- When is the last time we emptied the trash
on our computer? - I don't know.
Doesn't that, like, empty itself?
- Uh, not unless you change the settings.
- Oh, yeah. There's a lot in there.
- Maybe that's why our computer's so slow.
- Maybe.
So I just hit empty...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. - What?
- What is that screenshot you just deleted?
- I guess it's, like, a picture of Saturn.
- Oh, yeah!
Like, we were trying to figure out how long it would take
to get to Saturn. (fast energetic music stops)
- How long would it take to get to Saturn?
(fast energetic music resumes) - I don't know.
Like, what are we using for fuel?
- I mean, liquid oxygen?
- What about antimatter?
- How do we solve the temperature problem?
- Radiate out the waste heat.
- Waste heat?
- [Both] Waste?
- Oh. Trash!
- Ah, crap.
- We need to focus! - Yeah, yeah.
- And do the one thing that we're supposed to do.
- But there are so many other things that we can do!
- Like what? - Like figure out
how to play the theme to "Titanic" on the recorder!
- Well, how long do you think that would t-
("My Heart Will Go On")
Whoa, that's pretty good.
How did you figure that out so fast?
- Yeah, remember, we're sort of a genius because of this.
- Yeah, but for, like-
- [Both] Really random things.
(recorder clatters)
- Speaking of random, what do you think Billy Zane is up to?
- Oh, 'cause he was in "Titanic."
- Yeah, but really, like, nothing else, right?
- Well, he played himself in "Zoolander."
- Yeah, but, like, what else?
- Let me check IMDb.
- He has 176 credits.
- I have never heard of any of these movies.
- Yeah, these movies are probably all trash.
(fast energetic music stops)
- Trash! (fast energetic music resumes)
Dude, okay, I'm walking to the kitchen,
and I'm changing the tra-
- I have a child!
- What? - I have a child!
- Well, change- - Please, I have a child!
- Oh, my gosh.
You're doing when Billy Zane stole the baby
to get on the lifeboat?
- How did he get away with that?
- I mean, it was chaos!
- Oh, so amid the chaos, like,
someone just left a baby on a table,
like a piece of trash?
- (sighs) Trash.
- Yeah, set you up on purpose that time. (clicks tongue)
- I am walking over there.
- Okay, you go ahead and take out the trash.
I'm just gonna sit here and think.
- About what? - My fantasy football draft.
- Oh, crap, that's next week.
- We haven't done a mock yet.
- We need to do a mock. - Yeah, like, right now.
- Okay, I'm in the draft lobby.
Are we snake or auction?
- Snake, definitely snake.
- Okay, it's starting. - Snake.
Ooh, remember that snake in our neighborhood
that could spit venom, like, nine feet?
- And it showed up on some dude's porch.
- And the guy who owned it was a TikTokker.
- Whatever happened to that guy?
- Yeah, was he, like, arrested or something?
- Whoops, missed a pick.
- Auto-pick, it's fine.
Who did we get? - Harrison Butker.
- Ooh, he sounds strong.
- He's a kicker. - Butker. (chuckles)
Butt. - Dude, shut up.
- Like Dick Butkus. - Shut up!
It's one thing not to take out the trash-
- Butts.
- It's a totally different thing
to have a crappy mock draft.
- Wasn't Dick Butkus in "Webster"?
- Wait, did he play George Papadopoulos?
- Google George Papadopoulos.
- Whoa. - Yeah, what?
- It says he was a former political advisor.
- Dick Butkus was a political advisor?
- No, George Papadopoulos.
- No, no, he's not a real person, he's Webster's dad.
- No, but there's another one who was real.
- There's two George Papadopouloses?
- Papadopouloses?
- Papadopouli?
- Better.
- Yeah, it's like how we make our last name plural,
like Holderni.
- Yep. - Syllabi!
- Yes! - Octopi.
- What else? - Fungi!
- You're a fun guy! - Nah, you're a fun guy!
- Heh, thanks, buddy! - Guess I'll do it myself.
- Also, by the way- - No, no, you can't help.
- [Penn's ADHD] Wasn't Dick Butkus in it with Alex Karras?
- [Penn] What came on after "Webster"?
I think it was "Silver Spoons."
- [Penn's ADHD] Oh, remember the thing with his mom in that?
- [Penn] Oh, yeah, the lady from,
like, the toothpaste commercial.
- [Penn's ADHD] If I could wish
for anything in the whole world,
it would be that race car bed.
That race car bed is unbelievable.
(fast energetic music stops)
- Penn, how easy was that to write?
- I just started writing
about what was going on in my brain,
and that was it.
- I imagine the voices in your head are cartoon characters.
- Oh. - Inside your brain,
it's very...
It's like an animated Disney movie.
- Thank you for putting up with me.
I was writing this and thinking,
this is very true and I have forgotten to do things
that have been very basic, and...
- Like shutting the door. - Yeah. And I'm...
Yeah. - So you're like,
"Oh, who would leave the door wide open?"
- No, it was real.
- So we do have security cameras everywhere,
and he's like, "No, I didn't leave the door open."
- But then she gets to go look it up,
which is not fair. - And then I looked,
and he walked out to take out the garbage,
'cause I asked him to take out the garbage.
- Yeah.
- And then he left the door open.
- So I love you.
Thank you for putting up with me.
I am trying.
- Cool.
♪ Check out our merch ♪
♪ Check out our book ♪
♪ Check out our blog ♪
♪ It's at theholdernessfamily.com ♪
(upbeat music)