-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy-nominated actor you know
from films such as "A Beautiful Mind"
and the Avengers franchise.
He stars as Andy Warhol in "The Collaboration,"
which opens in Manhattan Theatre Club's
Samuel J. Friedman Theatre on December 20th.
Please welcome back to the show our friend
Paul Bettany, everybody!
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Hello! -Hello!
-I am so happy to have you here.
-Lovely and happy to be here.
-And you're on stage right now.
You've got a show tonight?
-Yeah, I have a show tonight.
-And this is -- you get to play Andy Warhol in this.
-I do, yeah. -It's about a collaboration with
Andy Warhol and his friendship with Basquiat, '80s New York.
This is a role you originally turned down.
-Yeah, I turned it down on -- Yeah, I thought maybe
there's a reason that Andy Warhol is always a cameo.
-Right. -You know?
Well, maybe there is a reason, you know?
We'll see what the critics say.
[ Laughter ]
But the producer, when I turned it down, sent me his diaries
and his diaries were dictated to his assistant, Pat,
and they're incredibly these long, circuitous sentences,
and he sounds more like Truman Capote
than the sort of monosyllabic -- -Yeah, that's true.
In films we tend to see him floating through the background,
one or two lines and then he's off.
-So we'll see if it works.
-Very exciting. Now, one thing that has to work
as well is you, every night,
physically have to go up and do the show.
Are you regretting the choice to return to the theater?
-Well, yeah, yes, yes. -[ Laughter ]
It's been 25 years. -Has it been 25 years?
Wow. -Yes, since I've been on stage.
And I kind of got the -- When we did "WandaVision," we did
one episode that was in front of a live studio audience.
And people were laughing at my jokes. Not my jokes.
But they were laughing at my jokes.
Somebody else had written them. Someone cleverer than me.
-But that's how the theater works too, right?
-That's right. And I'm really shallow.
-[ Laughter ] -It immediately appealed to me.
-Oh, yeah, you get a taste of it.
-I loved it. -Oh, I know.
-I was like, "I gotta to do that."
So I did it and it's a nightmare.
[ Laughter ]
I thought it's going to be great,
no more early film mornings, you know.
Getting up at the dawn of your crack.
[ Laughter ]
And then the truth is it's really hard.
-[ Laughs ] Yeah. -And really frightening.
And you have to learn all of these words at the same time
and then go out in front of people.
It's been a disaster, yeah.
-Yeah. -[ Laughter ]
This is going to be very inspirational
for young actors who are watching, I think.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, yeah, no, that's what
I'm hoping -- I've convinced, you know, all of my children
not to be in the -- -Yeah.
And do you think that's going to hold?
You have three kids.
And I guess you're almost -- Two have sort of committed.
You've got an 11-year-old. So you really think there's
no chance she's going to --
-Well, the jury's still out on her.
But the older one, he's an aeronautical engineer.
-Seems such a better choice than acting.
-Yeah, mainly because biologically he's not my son.
That's the reason he's an aeronautical engineer.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause he doesn't have my math gene.
-They almost didn't give him the job at the last minute
until he was like, "No, no, he's not my dad-dad."
[ Laughter ]
-Paul Bettany? Yeah, exactly.
But yeah. Yeah. I'm 50.
I thought, winter's coming, my joints aren't going to
be up to those early mornings. I'll do some theater.
And it's been a nightmare.
-Have you had -- -[ Laughter ]
50 is a big number.
I'm coming up -- That will be next year for me.
What about -- Have there been other things
that have made you really, like --
-Sure, I know what you're talking about.
-Yeah, I am. Okay.
-It's very important, got to do it.
It's called a colonoscopy.
-Yeah, have you? -Yes.
-Did you take the leap?
-Oh, I did it. I did it.
And I'm now going to tell you about it on television.
[ Laughter ]
-This is an education.
There's two things I want people to take away from our time here.
It's get a colonoscopy if you're a man who's 50.
And that acting is a drag.
[ Laughter ]
-But not as much as a nightmare as a colonoscopy.
-Well, that's good. So after you got your colonoscopy,
you're like, "Oh, doing a Broadway show is not that bad."
[ Laughter ]
-Well...
Okay. So here's the thing.
I was very frightened. -Yeah?
-The doctor was -- I said, "I don't want to go under."
I'm very frightened of going under.
-Oh, you don't like anesthesia?
-I said, "I don't want to do that."
And so he said, "Well, don't worry about it.
It's like -- It's a keyhole camera."
Keyhole is the word that he used.
[ Laughter ]
And I went into the room.
And they were all -- There was this huge --
Well, like lots of people.
And I thought -- I mean, let me say a crew.
-Uh-Huh, yeah. -Like a film crew.
-Right, sure.
-And this -- You would have to climb a beanstalk
to find a keyhole this big.
Because I looked at it. It was like an IMAX camera.
And I immediately said, "Put me under right now.
Just put me under. Have you got a boom operator?"
[ Laughter ]
So I go -- They put me under. I wake up.
I'm high as a kite on pethidine, and just, like, so happy.
And I turn around. I'm in the recovery room.
There are these two nurses, and I started flirting with them
and they're laughing at all my jokes
because I'm so funny and witty and clever.
And there's this really annoying buzzing noise,
but it doesn't matter. It's just a great day.
I'm flirting and they're laughing.
And then I turn around and I see my wife.
And I go, "Uh-oh."
[ Laughter ]
But she's laughing. She's laughing too.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, my God, I was flirting with these --
But this is the best day of my life.
I've had a colonoscopy.
I've been flirting with these girls.
Everybody's laughing at me.
What the [bleep] is that noise?"
And I started listening and I realized
I'd been farting for three minutes.
[ Laughter ]
Because -- Yeah, because --
They have to inflate you.
They probably don't do it like that.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, they have a super high-tech camera
and then, like, just a basketball pump.
-I don't know. I was unconscious. Maybe.
And so they inflate you.
And then -- Because they got to get this IMAX camera
and the whole crew in. -Yeah.
The crew goes in as well?
-I don't know. I was unconscious.
Who knows what happened?
-I have a great deal more to ask you about.
Thank you for sharing that story.
It's a beautiful Christmas story.
We'll be right back with more from Paul Bettany.