the harsh reality is that nobody else cares for you as much as you care for you
welcome back to Neemah Speaks a place where I empower women throughout the diaspora
remember "don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty you might not marry
a girl just because she's pretty but my goodness doesn't it help with your host Neemah Speaks today
i want to come back and talk about mastering the feminine mindset now recently i did a video when
looking at the psyche between black women and non-black women and from that video i got
a resolution that we ladies need to go back to the basic we need to go back to
learning the basic of what it truly means to be feminine as always femininity come in different
shapes and form but today we're going to be focusing on mastering the feminine mindset
without further ado let's go. The first rule of femininity and mastering the feminine mindset is
learning to communicate your feelings with grace. Now when I say learn to communicate
your feelings with grace what exactly do I mean. This is something that I have been taught
since I was little. It has been instilled with me that a feminine woman when you're trying to
get your point across there's no reason as into why you should use force. As a feminine woman
there is no reason as to why you should be raising your voice yelling there is nothing more alarming
than a woman who cursed like a sailor. There is nothing more alarming than a woman who cannot get
her point across without coming off as disorganized and sometimes i understand this
that as women we are much more nurturing and we're much more in tune with our feelings and that's
absolutely okay but what's not okay is, for you when you're speaking to people and you're trying
to communicate and express how you feel you come off screaming yelling all that's gonna do is
you're gonna make people shut you out. Femininity is all about understanding and making your life
easier. I posted this book on my story if you guys want me to do a video and review this book
comment down below but this book it's by Vanessa van Edwards and it's called Captive: the science
of succeeding with people. I am reading this book right now but what this book is gonna
teach you. I'm gonna leave the link down below for you to go and get it it's gonna teach you
the ability to be able to express your feelings with grace a communicate with people get you a
point across. leave a good first impression. For me when I am expressing something when somebody
does something to me that I do not appreciate, I do not like. Instead of yelling at them instead of
screaming and saying you always did this and this and that I always make it into an I statement.
I will say something like; I feel hurt when this and that happens. I feel sad when this and that happen.
I feel neglected when blah blah blah. I feel blah, when blah blah blah. Do you get the point?
because when you use I statements. Nobody else can debunk how you're feeling. I statement put people
at ease and allow people to listen to you. Remember femininity and having that feminine mindset is all
about making your life easier. The first thing that you definitely need to get is Vanessa Van Edwards
book called Captive. It's a phenomenal read. Comment down below I might do a review. The second
thing is that if you want to express yourself and you want to talk to somebody so you can get your
point across. Always use I statement. My parents kind of instilled in me no cussing like a sailor.
It's not elegant. It's not cute. It's not feminine. It's none of that ladies having a potty mouth
it's not gonna help you get your point across. i am just saying. Unless you're sewing!
jokes jokes jokes but seriously, always communicate your feelings with grace
because by you learning to properly communicate that's how you can get people to do whatever you
want okay that's how you can influence people and live a first good impression that leads you
to being spoiled how is that possible because i know how to communicate with people
i communicate with grace and communication is a skill that we can all learn and master the
second rule of femininity is to exude happy energy. You may be like Neemah okay sis this is the most bs
video I have ever seen and heard but hear me out! I did a little bit of an experiment for you guys
and I asked guys that I met what about me draw you to come and talk to me and from my survey
okay from my survey and asking around one of the things that I got told is everything about me
felt feminine and i asked them okay what does that mean explain it to me. what do you mean I came out
feminine they say first of all you just look happy. You look happy and You might be like Neemah
okay i want to be feminine i want to get the feminine mindset but i don't want to walk around
grinning like a crazy person and i am not saying go around smiling with a big old grin
that's creepy that's weird but what I'm saying is; embody the feminine energy. okay. being feminine
having that feminine mindset it's all about your energy. What exactly does that mean? being happy
is a choice. Now I know I know I know what you might want to say Neemah say oh my god how could
you say that but being happy is a choice. Did you know that when you smile you use fewer muscles
than when you're frowning. When I am going out and about I intentionally have
a pleasant face. The first thing that I'm going to suggest for you is to learn and see if you have
an R.B.F I want you to look in the mirror and see if you have an RBF. You may say Neemah what is an
R.B.F? an R.B.F stand for a resting b face. have someone ever tells you that when you just have
your neutral expression you look mad and angry like you're gonna fight somebody?
if that's you then, you need to work on that. Do this in front of my mirror, I have this little
smize that goes on into my face I have this beautiful smiles I try to open my eyes a little
bit. To put my lip in a neutral position so it's not downward facing. This is another tip that i
learned from Vanessa van Edwards's book Captive. She talked about this. Have that neutral expression
so you don't seem angry. How does that get into with the feminine mindset okay? feminine women
they're happy. I'm not saying that if you're having a bad day, you should force yourself and be smiling
and giggling. This is all about your energy and once you are mindful. You will learn to exude happiness.
The third rule of femininity. Do this. Put the oxygen mask on you first, I'm gonna repeat that
again. Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you try to help anybody else. Now how does this
go hand in hand with being feminine and having that feminine mindset? People have a misconception
of thinking that feminine women are pushovers! feminine women they give, give, give they never
get back. but that's not true. Once you tap into your femininity, you will understand the power
of a feminine woman. she always put herself first and this doesn't mean that your being
"selfish" because I know some of you may go down below and say oh my god that
is so masculine. Blah blah! No babes because even when you are on the plane and you have kids what
does the flight attendants tell you? put the oxygen mask on yourself first. What does this mean? this
mean that if you are not fulfilled, if you don't feel your best. How are you expecting yourself
to give to people? How are you expecting anything, if you are not recharged inside?
You cannot expect yourself to be giving your energy away. Just being around people they drain
your energy and I love to protect my energy. So what do I like to do?
I love to recharge and refill my energy. I love my peace. I don't like drama for me I try to avoid
drama with the 10-foot pole because I just don't like drama, it drains my energy that's me putting
me first. What are some things in your life that you can take back control and put yourself first?
It doesn't mean that you cannot help other people. That's not what I'm saying. I'm
saying that your needs should come first. Your well-being, your mental health, should come first.
You are not supposed to sit down listening to everybody else's problem. It's gonna take away the
space in your mind. Rob you of your energy and then you become masculine. How do women become masculine?
Because you are angry. You feel angry. You feel upset that nobody listens to you. That
nobody cares for you. Nobody appreciates you. That's all that happens when you don't put the oxygen
mask on yourself first. if you got nothing from today's video, this is the first rule of
femininity that I was taught with my grandma. When I was little she told me, "Neemah! stop it!
Stop doing everything for everybody else do for you. You have to take care of yourself because the
harsh reality is that nobody else cares for you as much as you care for yourself. No matter what they say,
everybody is looking out for themselves. Everybody want themself to do good. So as a feminine woman, please
please, please, Remember. It's all right for you to take care of yourself and don't let people shame you.
Calling you selfish. Don't allow other people talking, calling you saying that such a masculine
trait? Yes being feminine is all about giving but at the same time, we gotta give to ourselves.
Because we deserve the best. That's how I feel. As always ladies remember, being feminine
means and look different for different people. You can be feminine and be short. You can be feminine
and being a boss woman. What I'm talking about today is just one form of femininity and this
is more in tune with your mindset. Now as always if you would like to become
a part of Neemah Speaks inner circle and get a shoutout in my videos visit www.patreon.com/neemahspeaks
and become a part of the inner circle. I know you forgot to hit that like button. So quickly
scroll down hit that like button. If you don't like today's video
hit that dislike button. As always share this video with anybody else who you think is gonna benefit.
Let's do the affirmation of the day. Since we're talking about the feminine mindset
and the rules of femininity write down below; I am deserving of peace and the flower emoji.
so I know you're a real one and you made it this far into the video. As always, Nawapenda Sana. All right we going
where the money resides, where the money resides, where the money resides and that's on who? Mary Had A Little Lamb.