And I'm telling you this not only as your counselor but also your friend.
If you get into a good college and work hard, you can get whatever job you want!
Whatever job I want?
YES!
I'm telling you this not just as your counselor but as your friend.
That if you get into a good college and work really hard, you can get any job you want.
Is that how you became a counselor?
No.
No, I dropped out sophomore year and took the path of least resistance.
But you can do it! Yeah...
Yeah, you can do it.
You can do it.
I promise...
...and so, when you pay your "taxes" to the "government" they use that money to fund war.
And also prop up this series of fossil fuel companies that would otherwise go out of business.
Which then fund more war and also the fast-food industry.
Which is why you should never ever pay your taxes
Wow...
You like...
Everything figured out.
Yeah, dude I read a lot. I pretty much know everything.
...pretty much know everything.
Oh, but don't even get me started on birds.
We're not gonna become annoying know-it-all's when we're in our 20's, right?
Oh god, I hope not!
Yeah, I don't want to be like that.
*phone keyboard typing*
*phone keyboard typing but slower*
Mom, I'm home!
And I'm going to my room, alone!
Why are we doing this?
Because if my parents found out we were having sex, they'd flipped.
And the last thing they want is me getting pregnant or whatever.
True...
True.
Okay mom, I'm headed to my room, by myself, and I'm definitely not having sex.
We're adults now. Why are we still doing this?
Because if my parents found out we're having sex, they'd flip.
The one thing they want is me to be pregnant, have grand kids.
Oh, true...
True.
Oh hell yeah! My first-ever paycheck for $43! This is the best day of my life!
Jamba Juice, here I come!
HahAHHAaahahaH
So after taxes, insurance, and a sh*t ton of fees, all I get is...
$43?!
Okay, well I guess it's couch cushon for dinner again, hehe...
*eating sounds*
God!
*eating sounds*
...and it's all just unfair!
I can't wait till I'm old enough to leave and never come back!
Which is what I'm gonna do 'cause I hate you!
*cries*
*talking*
Oh, is that a home-cooked meal?
Oh, it looks really good! Can I have some?
- Also, I haven't done laundry in two months... - *sighs* Karen, get the curtains.
Also, I haven't done laundry in two months...
Mom, can you do it for me please?
We told you, you can't move back in!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Want to get freaky on his old bed?
Oh, I'm down to clown.
Aw, man!
I can't wait till I'm old enough to never--
I'm gonna leave and I'm never coming back.
*small laughs*
He's gonna have to do some spring cleaning this weekend.
Yes, 'cause if you don't tell us where the lube is, son...
Sorry, I was not expecting that.
It's very messy around here.
Yep, my uncle's coming over and we'll make it nice and sexy in here--
*laughs* oh my god...
IAN!
*laughs* What the hell!
And there you have it folks, Teens VS. 20's.
We thought it was time to take our entire audience down a peg.
Hey, if you're still a teenager and filled with blind optimism for some reason, click this video on the left.
Otherwise if you're over 20 and are starting to see that life isn't what you thought it would be click this video on the right.
Oh, god no...