Out of the darkest bit there is, Jesus, a lonely place of nothingness
where addictions take full control
and abuse brings a feeling of hopelessness.
My first encounter with the Bible
was when I was in jail and every cell had a Bible in it.
I had some time to kill so I decided I'd read it.
I started right from the front and read it right through to the back.
Even when I got through to the Gospels, I was still looking at, thinking hard about sin.
How we need to stay away from it.
At that point I was so deep in it that I really thought that was my lot in life.
I actually ended up with a dimmer outlook on God than I had to start with.
In a life that feels that it has no purpose,
one that will lead home into the grave, within your mighty right hand, Jesus,
you hold the only power there is to save.
I was out back having a cigarette and was thinking about which job I was gonna take
and all the sudden this voice said to me, "don't take any of them."
"Take the Christian life skills program," this little voice in my head.
And I'm thinking why would I do that, I'm not even a Christian, right?
After some time battling this voice I was hearing, I decided to go and do this course
and I gave myself to Christ.
And I fell in love with him right away, and when I started to read the Bible,
it started to have a different impact to it.
Somewhere along there I just took it all back, I guess it would be sort of like the prodigal son story.
I took this beautiful freedom he had given me and figured I was fine all of a sudden
and I didn't need him anymore and I stopped reading the Word.
So I slipped back away and got deeper into the drugs again.
And so I moved in there, a cockroach infested place.
All I did was come out to work to make the money to get drugs and go back in and close the door.
But everything was totally quiet
and this voice just said, "John, this is not what I want you to do with your life. Stop."
And it was like, wow. And all of a sudden I just straightened up.
I wasn't stoned. I wasn't drunk. I did what drug addicts don't usually do,
I just went and laid down and went to sleep.
And then got up in the morning and phoned detox. When I got to detox,
before I rang the bell, I looked up to the heavens and I said God I don't know why you're doing this.
I don't know why you think I'm worth it, but if you've got some plan for me,
this time you've got all of me, do whatever you want with me.
I went in with that attitude of total surrender.
And when I got into detox, the first thing I did was get a Bible and start reading the Word of God.
The Word totally comes alive to me today, the poetry the Lord gives me
is so profound that it just blows me away.
So that's how important the Word of God is when people are trying to change their lives as well.
From being on the street myself I try not to be too pushy to people.
And just talking to the person for long, acknowledging that they're a human being.
The person asks, "how did you get out of where you were?" then, you know.
And I say through the Word of God, through a loving Saviour that came into my life.
Took away all my problems and replaced them with him.
And his love and all the beautiful things that come with it.
And I had a chance to pass them a Bible if they want it.
Those who have fallen into self or circumstance,
and walk in heartache and despair,
looking for the answers to life, Lord,
and not knowing or seeing that you are standing there,
revive them Lord with the power of your great love.