On this episode of China Uncensored...
Oh no, I think it’s something I ate.
Hi, welcome back to China Uncensored,
I’m your host Chris Chappell.
China has a reputation for fakery.
Just take my favorite toy of all time,
Robert Cop!
Hey, he’s the furniture of law enforcement.
Now while Robert Cop may be a bad knock off,
it’s also hilarious.
But you know what’s not as hilarious?
Knock-off foods that could kill you
if you eat them...
or even worse,
not kill you,
but make you wish for the sweet release of death.
So if you ever travel to China,
here’s a list of 10 foods to watch out for.
Number 10
Fake Eggs
Eggs are cheap right?
Well fake eggs are even cheaper!
According to state-run media,
some suspiciously cheap eggs were actually fakes
made from industrial chemicals.
Look, you can’t make a profit
without breaking some fake eggs.
This video claims to show how the fake eggs are made.
A combination of resin, starch, coagulant, pigments,
and sodium alginate make the egg white.
The yolk is made with different resins and pigments.
And voilà!
You have a fake egg.
Once that’s done, it’s fit into a fake egg shell,
made of paraffin wax,
gypsum powder and calcium carbonate.
All you need now is fake bacon.
Number 9
Fake Rice
Rice is a staple Chinese food.
But one particular kind of rice
is extremely popular in China.
It’s called Wuchang rice.
It has a unique fragrance.
And only about 800,000 tons
are produced each year.
But somehow,
10 million tons are sold each year.
That means 92 percent of it is fake.
Rice vendors mix a small amount of Wuchang rice
with cheaper brands and sell it at a markup.
But what about the unique fragrance of Wuchang rice?
No problem.
Just spray some rice-scented perfume
on the fake Wuchang rice.
Who can tell the difference?
There have even been rumors of rice vendors
selling rice that’s actually made of plastic.
“One Chinese restaurant association official
warns that eating three bowls of ‘plastic rice’
is the same as eating one vinyl bag.”
On the plus side, your body can’t digest vinyl,
so plastic rice fits in as part of your low-carb diet.
And it probably tastes better than cauliflower rice.
The plastic rice story has never been confirmed,
but considering there are fake eggs,
plastic rice might not be too far fetched.
Number 8
Fake Pepper
This isn’t anything to sneeze at.
According to my favorite Chinese state-run media,
the black pepper was being made out of mud.
A dirty business.
The white pepper was being made out of flour.
What was the guy’s defense?
“The vendor responsible told reporters
that selling fake pepper was acceptable,
as the fake seasoning would not kill people.”
Well, in a country with fake eggs,
yeah I’ve got to give him that.
Number 7
Fake Beef
Now at first, this one might not seem so bad
compared to what we’ve just seen.
Over 20,000 kilos of fake beef
was seized by Chinese authorities
after it was discovered it was actually pork.
Well that’s not so bad, right?
Unless you’re Muslim
and it’s a deep violation of your faith.
But at least the fake beef is still made out of real meat.
Except, “Police say the confiscated meat
had been treated with chemicals
including paraffin wax and industrial salts
to make it look like beef.”
Those are ok to eat...right?
Well in addition to the uh, additives
used to make this pork into beef,
let’s just hope they weren’t using
the same kind of pork found in China
that somehow glows in the dark.
I’m sure that’s just from heirloom
glow-in-the-dark pigs.
Number 6
Fake Walnuts
Looks like a real walnut right?
Well, it is a real walnut shell.
But inside...rocks.
Vendors would remove the nut meat
and sell that separately.
Then they would fill up the shells with rocks
or pieces of cement,
glue them together,
and sell that.
Solving fake foods in China is a tough nut to crack.
Number 5
Fake Wine
China has a massive fake wine problem.
The Interprofessional Council of Bordeaux Wine
estimates that 30,000 bottles of fake wine
are sold per hour in China.
Some estimate “that 30 percent of all alcohol in China
is counterfeit
and 70 percent of wine is fake.”
And lets just say, this fake wine won’t get you drunk...
“Some of the wines apparently
don’t have fermented grape juice,
just sugar water mixed with chemicals,
like coloring agents and flavoring.”
But it might give you a really bad hangover...
“Some experts were reported as saying the wine additives
could cause headaches, irregular heartbeat, and cancer.”
Wow, that’s a rather extreme range of side effects.
Almost makes me feel better about…
Number 4
Fake Lamb
Like the fake beef,
the fake lamb was made with real meat.
Just meat from...rats.
Pop quiz!
Which is lamb and which is rat?
You can tell the difference by the fat.
The real lamb,
it’s actually attached,
not just some weird gross strip.
900 were arrested.
That is, 900 people.
The rats weren’t arrested.
They were digested.
In fact, in the first five months of 2013,
authorities seized 20,000 tonnes of illegal meat products.
To be fair, it wasn’t all rat meat.
Some was simply regular meat
that was toxic or diseased.
Number 3
Fake Tofu
I know, who in their right mind
would eat tofu anyway?
Well, here’s one more reason
not to touch the stuff—
100 metric tons of toxic tofu.
The counterfeiters said they mixed the chemicals
with water, salt and MSG before steaming the mixture,
packaging it and giving it a brand name.
And one of the chemical agents used is known to cause cancer.
“Oh ee ohh, killer tofu.”
Number 2
Fake Duck blood
Oh no!
Not duck blood!
Don’t tell me they’ve turned this delicacy
into something disgusting!
In this report from my favorite state run media,
the Global Times, they...
well first they compare Chinese people to vampires.
Now I know how Angelababy
keeps her skin so white!
But the Global Times article also warns,
“watch out for fake blood.”
“All sorts of harmful ingredients are added,
including formaldehyde, which is toxic
and damages the liver, kidneys and nerves.”
And you don’t want nerve damage.
Because you’ll need a lot of nerve
to eat coagulated cakes of animal blood.
And finally, Number 1
Fake Pork Buns
This report from state run CCTV revealed
that some people were making delicious pork buns...
out of well marinated cardboard.
The cardboard is soaked in caustic soda,
a chemical base commonly used in
manufacturing paper and soap.
Mmm, the longer it marinates the better.
The story got picked up by Western media
and went viral.
Chinese authorities were quick to act...
by arresting the reporter and claiming
she made up the story for views.
She was fined and sent to prison for a year.
But while the cardboard pork buns
may or may not have been a hoax,
some inventive entrepreneurs came up with
“recycled” pork buns instead.
You know, you take some expired pork buns,
freshen them up with a little flour and water,
repackage them,
and they’re good as new!
So those are 10 fake Chinese foods
that may kill you.
Those who live by the yum,
die by the yum.
And before you go,
now’s the time on the show
when I answer questions from fans
who support China Uncensored
on the crowd funding website Patreon.
This one comes from Arpanet-at-Cern.
Hey Chris, do you think the US would ever implement
AI Facial Recognition nationally like China?
I’d like to think not.
The United States government
is still accountable to the people
and I don’t think the people here would appreciate
a proverbial eye of Sauron spying on them
at all times.
However, China is exporting its surveillance
and censorship technology to other countries.
For example, Africa.
Ok, technically Africa is a continent.
I meant African countries.
Turns out, most oppressive regimes
enjoy money and power—
and the Chinese Communist Party
is more than happy to supply those things to them.
There’s also fears that China’s social credit system,
where citizens are given a ranking based on behavior,
could be coming to the west as well.
But you know what, Arpanet-at-Cern?
I think you’ve given me a great idea for a full episode.
So remember, if you’d like to have me
answer your questions on the show,
support China Uncensored with a dollar or more
per episode on Patreon.
The show is mostly funded by you,
the viewers.
Thanks for watching.
Let me know what you think about
fake foods in China
and if you’ve encountered any
while travelling there.
Once again I’m Chris Chappell,
see you next time.
Hey, want the latest China news?
Subscribe to China Uncensored!
And turn that notification bell on
to make sure you find out
when new episodes are out.
We publish a brand new episode
every Monday,Wednesday, and Friday—
and sometimes Saturday.
So check back frequently.
But I’ve heard from many fans
that YouTube won’t notify you,
even if you have notifications on.
I guess they don’t like China Uncensored too much.